Refuses to hold hand and walk

[KindOtter]

I have a 18 month old toddler and for the past month he hasn’t really used the pushchair only used the reins (when running errands, which the supermarket is not even a 5 minute walk) which is great but he refuses to hold my hand and walk (which is why I got the reins in the first place) but when crossing the road I feel it’s necessary for him to hold my hand. he’s happy to hold anyone else hand and walk but I can’t always leave the house with family.
so basically he refuses to hold my hand crossing the road and then once I’ve finally dragged his arse across said road and able to let go to use the reins he then sits down, throws a tantrum and we don’t move until he’s over the tantrum which can be anywhere from 5 minutes to half an hour.
can anyone give me any advice on what I should do?

If he is in reins why does he also need to hold your hand when crossing? One or the other is fine at this stage.

I’d be inclined to keep taking the pushchair, and put him in it if he is refusing to move in the short term. Also don’t let him see your frustration. The less impact his behaviour has the more likely he is to stop it. Just tell him what you’re doing and get on with it, don’t engage with him , if you need to wait it out do it silently. As always distract as much as you can.

Change tactics. When you cross a road take hold of the reins closer to his body so you have a firm grip that holds him close.

Yes ideally holding hands would be best but it's not really worth the aggravation it's causing when you can take control another way that achievies crossing the road safely.

At 18 months old it's probably just a phase anyway.

And always ensure you use a crossing.

21 month old here. We got reins at 18 months for similar reasons. Flight risk, no holding hands. Quite simply we put him on the reins, walked around with him. If we reached a road we didnt cross the road until he held our hand. Simple "we hold hands when we cross the road" No emotion just simple statement. When he did hold hand, lots of praise and walk.

It basically trained him, now at 21 months we need to use the reins far less. Better understanding so stops when I say wait. Vocabulary exploded so wants to walk next to me and chat/sing. He actually asks to hold my hand. If hes tired or moody he might play up so I'll put the reins on but usually fine.

I trained all of mine like puppies at this age. Take the pram out with you for short walk at the start. Then say hold hand or pushchair. They will say nonono and start to run off. You put them in pushchair. After 5 mins they want to get out. You let them out and say hold hand or pushchair. Repeat times 1000. It took approx a week each to fully train but they were excellent by the end 😂

Currently going through the same thing. Letting my toddler run about if we are away from a road, but holding hands to cross the road is non-negotiable. If they won't hold hands, I pick them up, if they kick etc they go over my shoulder in a fireman's lift. If they then have a tantrum - fine. It is slowly improving the situation. I am also giving LOTS of praise wherever LO willingly holds hands.