ADHD in girls

[Unsure4589]

Those parents of girls who have either strongly suspected or confirmed ADHD, what were the early signs? Our DD is 3, so still far too young to be diagnosed, but we're beginning to wonder (especially as we're now looking at schools and their SEN provision), so I'd love to hear more about others' experiences.

I know ADHD in girls can sometimes go overlooked (at school for example), because girls can present differently and be very good at masking, so I'm keen to be sure we pick up on anything we need to and support her properly from early on if she does have ADHD. I'm obviously very keen to avoid damage to her self-esteem in particular as a result of ignorance. 😕

Mega tantrums. ‘
Awkwardness’
Couldnt do normal sanctions
Late sleep onset
Always always hungry
Friendship issues

@Unsure4589 is she your first born?

She's still very little but you may find this a useful resource.

As the article says though;

"Remember that these behaviours can be normal for younger children, especially if they’re under 5"

I have ADHD but wasn't diagnosed until adulthood and my SD was diagnosed at 10. It's also suspected in DD but she can't be referred before 6.

Some of the signs that have been noticed in all/some of us:

• Hyper-verbal (me, DD)
• Very impulsive (all of us) including blurting out rude things
• Struggles with organisation/memory/losing things (Me, SD)
• Careless mistakes in work/school work (all of us)
• Struggles with transitions (all of us)
• Constantly moving, squirming, fidgeting (DD, SD)
• Always breaking things (SD)
• Overly emotional (all of us)
• Low tolerance for boredom (all of us)
• Sensory issues including picky about clothing/fabrics (all of us) and food textures (SD, DD)
• Easily overstimulated, can't cope with lot of noise/lights etc. (all of us)
• Difficulty with friendships (me, SD)

It presents differently in everyone and cognitive ability affects how well you can mask or process things.

Pretty much most of the above. Thought it was autism but it’s ADHD but because she doesn’t run around going mad it was difficult to see until a professional pointed it out. Then it all made sense

I now suspect both myself and DD (8) have it.
I’ve got a meeting with the school SENDCo next week.
My DD is very similar to me so it took me a long time to think anything was “wrong”. It was my partner, my Dad, DD’s Dad and a few others that said they think we both have ADHD.

My daughter has always been:
Extremely chatty.
Relentlessly energetic.
Always hungry, never satisfied.
Very clumsy.
Fidgets constantly, can never sit still to watch a programme or a film.
Interrupts conversation constantly.
Oblivious sometimes to social cues.
Very emotional.
When she’s not being energetic, she’s in some sort of trance and I have to say her name several times to get her attention.
The list goes on.
Some of it can be normal I suppose to a degree but it becomes more clear as she’s getting older there’s something else going on.

Also mine was so demanding as a little girl. Wanted constant entertainment. Never played alone. It was exhausting.

Yes, this was mine. I only really figured it out a couple of years ago when a friend's son was being diagnosed - she gave me the list of signs, and I saw clearly that it was my dh, just so obvious. Then I looked back and realised that my hyper-chatty, so-easily-distracted, very-early-talker child who simply could not stay still in her pushchair like everyone else's child, and who loses everything all the time, had probably inherited it.

We've not gone for a diagnosis (yet) because we are managing, but was literally like a lightbulb switching on when I figured it out.

Mine was hyper chatted and also a very early talker.

However she is the in attentive type and was content to sit in her pushchair! But would neverevereverever sleep in it.

I relate so much to all these posts. I was diagnosed in adulthood. In the evaluation with my mum she said “there’s nothing wrong with her, I would leave her at nursery bouncing off the walls and she would come out with just as much energy, she never stopped.” Yes, mother, exactly!

OP make sure the school your daughter goes to has really good support/ they are on their students. It’s very easy for ADHD girls to fall through the cracks. They’re good at masking and if they’re smart they can basically succeed at school but find themselves drowning in adulthood because basic skills actually were never fostered.

Interesting that a lot of the descriptions of the young girls with ADHD on this thread seem to be presenting almost as the ‘male stereotypical version’ of ADHD. I think it’s important to be aware that for females ADHD may not present like this at all and that’s why it’s so often missed.

I was diagnosed at 53 🙄and masked so well that no-one had a clue. Even me! I was very much like @KnackeredBunny ’s example where I was good at masking, had strict parents (so did as I was told) and was smart so excelled at school. The wheels only came off later in life.

Mine didn’t have the male presentation.

Very quiet at school, scared to talk, kept her head down, seemed quiet and compliant.

I was exactly the same! Quiet and very shy.

In fact in my first year exams at secondary school, I came top in French (out of 200 kids) and my French teacher was gobsmacked as she’d never heard me say a word so had assumed I didn’t have a clue. After that she made me stand up at the start of every class and I wasn’t allowed to sit down until I’d answered 3 questions. I guess these days that would class as bullying but 🙄

My sleep however was appalling from being very young as my brain was just too hyperactive to let me rest, but I would also crash out at 5pm every day like clockwork as I was so burnt out from unknowingly masking all day. My parents took me to the GP who tested my iron levels and said they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. In hindsight, that was also BS as actually my ferritin levels are very low (only discovered recently) and that’s also quite common with ADHD as it’s connected to dopamine (or lack of).

Thanks all! This is very interesting. I’d say DD has some of the characteristics mentioned in abundance but not all.

So far, this is what stands out for us about DD:

• fidgety! Ants in her pants except when watching TV, when she’s often like a zombie 🫤
• easily distracted, never plays too long at any one game
• very chatty, will talk to anyone including adults (men included) who are total strangers
• eager to please teachers at preschool, but tends to unravel at home time where behaviour nosedives
• generally clumsy and not well coordinated, but also equally a brilliant climber and capable of walking a balance bar unaided. It’s weird!
• can develop fairly intense, borderline obsessive bonds with other kids, even after a very short time. Today for example, all I could hear was her calling the name of her new ‘friend’ and chasing her all around the soft play, even though they’d just met! I can imagine this might develop into a difficulty with friendships.

But, she also sleeps well (so
does my ADHD husband though), has the appetite of a bird, and appears to be reasonably empathic and able to read social cues. 🤷‍♀️

I know all of the above can be passed off as toddlerhood atm but we’re keeping an eye on it.