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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

I feel like I’m drowning

3 replies

Wishingthingsweredifferent38 · 29/09/2025 19:56

I’m a solo parent to a 7 year old child who is neurodiverse. I love him more than anything in the world but I feel like I am failing at every turn. The meltdowns, the anger, the struggling at school, the inability to regulate emotions, the constant on-the-go. Every morning I wake up and feel dread because I feel like I can’t cope with the challenges that the day may bring. I cry every single day.
My child lashes out at me. He doesn’t do it when he goes to see his dad once a week, but he hits, kicks, throws things. It’s like he doesn’t have to hold back with me and just falls apart. Recently we had 10 days with no meltdowns/anger/violence and that’s the longest we’ve had calm at home for in 3 years. He talks about wanting to die to escape what is going on in his head. He had tried to hurt himself. I still have nightmares of this.
I am scared for the future every day. The school are amazing, EHCP in process, have meds, play therapy (have gone privately as huge nhs lists). We have great friends and family supporting us. And I would never ever leave and I will always advocate for him and fight for him and what he needs, but I feel so out of my depth. I don’t know how to help him. I feel so lost, and scared. That he deserves and needs a better mum than me.
I’m sorry for ranting, I guess I just want someone to tell me that parenting is hard and I’m not the only one who has felt like this (I know that sounds selfish)

OP posts:
Beamur · 29/09/2025 20:01

You are doing an amazing job. Really you are.
Being a solo parent is hard at the best of times. But you have got so much lined up for him - maybe you also need some help for you?
You are his safe place - which is why he lashes out. School is hard for these kids and you have to advocate for everything.
Have a cry, wipe your eyes. One day at a time..

LightBlueJeans · 29/09/2025 20:19

"That he deserves and needs a better mum than me." No, absolutely not, you sound like an amazing mum doing the best anyone could possibly do in a really difficult situation.

Your son is so lucky to have you loving him and advocating for him every day. I hope you manage to have a bit of down time to do something relaxing that you enjoy while your son goes to his dad's once a week. Looking after you is important, too. Can you e.g. get out for a daily walk with a nice flask of tea while your son is at school and practice some mindfulness and breathing exercises? Little positive tweaks to the day that you can focus on when you feel full of dread in the morning? Sorry, I know that's not solutions to the bigger problems, but there might be ways for you to feel less overwhelmed by it all.

Skybluepinky · 29/09/2025 20:26

See if there are any other courses you can do so you can learn techniques to make your job easier.

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