Hello. Pretty much what it says - today I caught my daughter (11) shoplifting while we were in town. I’ve had my suspicions for a while - every so often an item appears in her rooom, like a tiny teddy or a lipgloss or a key ring. Never big ticket items and easily explainable. I’ve asked her directly and she says ‘she’s found them.’ It’s not true, but I couldn’t prove it. She gets pocket money and has her own card. She is actually a really well behaved young lady so this is why I’m struggling with it. She’s funny, sweet and playful, young for her age, and great with her younger brother.
She’s just started secondary school and although she’s doing ok, I know she’s struggling. She has an EHCP, we’ve been advised she most likely has ADHD. She struggles with attention, and retention but tries so hard. She’s very disorganised so I try my best to support her, getting her to pack her bag the night before, hanging up her uniform etc but she gets cross with me and I don’t want to infantilise her either.
I love her to bits. She’s my second of three and such a great girl but she’s never truly happy with anything. She’s resentful of her big brother because he’s very severely complex needs and feels like she loses out to him. I work my butt off to ensure she doesn’t feel like she has to be responsible for him or the three year old.
Sorry for the info dump. I’m just completely overwhelmed and I handled the discovery poorly. I told her to go into her room and put everything that didn’t belong to her in mine. I was expecting one or two things but there was a lot more and some of it (keywords, little novelty rubbers etc) have very likely been taken from class mates. I’m quite stunned.
What do I do? I’ve no one in my life to ask, my husband and I aren’t getting on that well at the moment (likely another thing behind it) and I feel so guilty. I do my best but I’m split three ways and I know she feels like she’s overlooked. Please - any advice?