17yo nephew, HELP!

[DrMaxwell]

My 17yo nephew came to us at the start of the summer due to difficulties with my sister's partner. We have my 16yo DS 24/7 and shared care my partners children, 13 and 11. He's started 6th form and his school have said he's mostly doing well. He worked the whole summer and bought himself a motorbike. He's constantly out on the bike, meeting up with friends and has just arrived home having stayed out overnight (he asked permission) covered in lovebites. He's admitted he 'hooked up' with his friends sister.

This is so totally outside our parenting experience, my DS is a homebody and loves a book and has never given me a moment of worry. The others are young enough that they don't go out much independently. What is ok? What is normal for this age?

He sounds hard working and is doing well at school, and isn't staying out without checking first. I'd be more concerned about the bike. Does he have full safety gear including gloves and boots?

I think you have to pick your battles. You say he's doing well in school and obviously has a work ethic and when he stayed out all night, he asked permission first. He's 17 so a neck full of hickies is not the end of the world and it could be a lot worse

1. Consent and safe sex conversations
2. motorcycling gear
3. All very normal and fine with good studying and respectful house behaviour
4. keep checking in - hard to not be wanted at home - am sure you do. You sound like a top aunty. Hope your bond lasts a lifetime

It all sounds normal just please as pp said, make sure he’s safe on the bike.

He has all the safety clothing for the bike so that's in hand 🙂

I'm working really hard to allow him freedom with reasonable boundaries, but not having experienced parenting such a free spirit at this age before I do feel panicky.

He's a lovely lad who's had a bloody awful time recently. I also feel that he's screaming out for parenting, but don't want to be too heavy handed.

With regards to safe sex and consent, that's basically my day job, we've talked and I've been very clear that "she says she's on the pill" is not good enough. We've also had a discussion about enthusiastic consent.