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Not wanting ds friends in my house

15 replies

cakefairy7 · 27/09/2025 13:11

My ds is 4 and has a couple of friends in our street, he’s never allowed out without me but his friends parents let them play out by themselves. This means they end up knocking my door and ds invites them into play which I hate! I didn’t mind so much at the start when they were well behaved but as they’ve got more comfortable they cause fights, snatch toys, tell tales constantly like if ds is playing with something and won’t hand it over straight away they’re shouting he’s not sharing. They come in scream shout, run about my house mad when I’m trying to fry stuff done and quite honestly I hate the sight of them at the door! I end up telling them off every single time which they’re not used to at home so they then leave in a huff in the middle of playing with my child who gets quite upset then as he can’t understand why they come in and go so quickly. I’m heavily pregnant and dread the thought of this on top of a newborn, parents know they are here and are happy with it because to them it’s free babysitting while they get their stuff done and my house ends up trashed every time. How do I deal with this without causing rows in our street. I know I’m getting snappier with them quicker but it’s just because I know what’s coming as soon as I see them knock.

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EternalSunshine19 · 27/09/2025 13:16

They sound like a nightmare. Next time they knock, tell them "not today your son is busy". And continue to do it everytime they knock.

Thingsthatgo · 27/09/2025 13:23

Is your son answering the door on his own?

cakefairy7 · 27/09/2025 13:25

No we have quite a small house so you can see who’s at the door as soon as they come in the drive

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Jellybunny56 · 27/09/2025 13:25

If you don’t want them in the house I’d stop them at the door, just don’t let them in.

Do you have a garden they could play in so you know where your child is & that he is safe, but they aren’t in your house? Would you be happy for your son to go play in their houses instead and alternate so that it’s at least every 3rd week rather than every week? I’d try to think of a way to sort of preserve his friendships while also giving yourself your home back.

cakefairy7 · 27/09/2025 13:35

I have tried the garden before and it just erupts every time into the house if I turn my back for a second I have scooters, bikes everything in through my house. He plays with them out in the front street quite often as I’ll take him out during the day and in the evenings so he can see them to help keep the friendships which I don’t mind doing as we both get fresh air. However they have now started not to let him get involved out there as they have other friends out yet are happy to come in and use all his stuff when they’re bored which is also causing a sore point to be honest. I don’t know if I would trust him in their house it’s quite laid back on rules hence their behaviour in mine children often can’t be found etc I would be friendly with the parent so trying not to start a row but she won’t get the hint that they’re causing bother in here regardless of how often I tell her I’ve had to tell them off as others are happy to have them whenever they knock although some of these people don’t have kids so they don’t have the same fights over toys or as much to trash and are happy to entertain them. I wouldn’t mind so much weekly or a bit apart it’s the fact I could have them at the door maybe 6 seperate times a day if they don’t go anywhere

OP posts:
YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 27/09/2025 16:04

Don't open the door!

frostybritches · 27/09/2025 16:07

Who lets a four year old out to play by themselves? That’s a reception age child. Do you live very rurally near no roads or something?

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 27/09/2025 16:31

Why are you inviting them in? Stop that and say no

Crunchy7 · 08/02/2026 12:03

Stop being a mug ! If they wont let your son join in outside why on earth are you letting them in your house ffs grow a backbone.

Aligirlbear · 08/02/2026 14:39

This is totally within your gift . Your DC is 4. You get to answer the door and say no, and if your DC is with you and invites them in you hold firm as the adult and say no not today we are busy. The others will get the message eventually that it isn’t fun being told no. Why would it cause a problem with your neighbours ? You aren’t a free baby sitting service and if the others want to play together then can go back to one of their houses .

NerrSnerr · 08/02/2026 14:44

Your child is 4, just say no! I thought this thread would be about teenagers. If your son lets them in (he surely doesn’t answer the door alone?) just send them away- tell them they can’t play in your house.

CeffylCoch · 08/02/2026 14:50

Stop letting them in!

UnimatrixZeroOne · 08/02/2026 15:48

FOUR year olds out playing? Wtf. What era are you living in?

sesquipedalian · 08/02/2026 15:52

Who’s the adult here? If DS lets them in (quite why he’s answering the door, I’m not sure) then tell them sorry, you need to go home: DS is not allowed friends today. Rinse and repeat.

greencheetah · 08/02/2026 16:10

Just don’t open the door.

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