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Original poster

I don’t have anything left to give

10 replies

justjane90 · 26/09/2025 22:37

myself and my DH have been married 3 years (together for 6) we both work full time, and we have a 2yo DD. DH works away during the week (3-4 nights)
I do most of the childcare, cooking, shopping etc and general life admin as he is away

DH has admitted he isn’t happy, he’s not happy with our own relationship and he just feels like a dad.
I know what he means, and it’s not intentional but I’m so exhausted - I just feel wiped out
Ive told him I love him, but he says it’s not enough.
of course our relationship has changed since having DD but I expected it to, and it will change again as she gets older…?
we do try and do date nights etc when we can get a babysitter.
He wants to move out, and I’m heartbroken, he can’t see past this stage we are currently in.
Does anyone have any advice? what can I do? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
TheGrimSmile · 26/09/2025 22:45

I'm sorry to say this but I suspect he is involved with another woman or has feelings for another woman. You don't just leave your wife and child just because you feel like a dad.

You need to just let him go. Pathetic man-child.

SundaysMondays · 26/09/2025 22:48

I'm sorry you're going through this, what a dick. Relationships do change when children arrive, but most mature adults accept that to be the case and make the most of the moments they do get together (such as the date nights you mention).

He sounds like a jealous child who's upset he's doesn't have all your attention focused on him anymore.

Angeldelight50 · 26/09/2025 22:52

He’s away 4 nights a week but is feeling over whelmed about being a dad? Right…

I’d be suspicious that he’s met someone else. A reasonable response would be more date nights, not breaking up the family.

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2 year olds Families General parenting
Luddite26 · 26/09/2025 22:53

He's got someone else. Wanker. Sorry OP.

NJLX2021 · 27/09/2025 03:36

Your feelings are 100% normal and correct. Everyone with young children has been through this. We all have a capacity for effort, love, care etc. and all of a sudden you go from giving 100% of that to your partner, to the vast majority to a small kid. Of course your relatonship won't be the same. But in theory, you are also right that sensible strong relationships get better and better again as the child gets older and gradually needs you less and less.

It is a shame if he wants to bail during the hard time, and not work with you to get back to a good time. Honestly, I would struggle to move on from this, regardless of if he has someone else.

He needs to toughen up, and be a parent and a partner, and if that is too much. If he is too weak and can't see past the current hard time? Then my respect for him would be pretty much gone. Anyone that willing to throw away a family because (at best) they aren't happy with the struggle, isn't someone who you can rely on later in life when you are both getting old and things potentially get tough, and care is required.

Meadowfinch · 27/09/2025 03:49

TheGrimSmile · 26/09/2025 22:45

I'm sorry to say this but I suspect he is involved with another woman or has feelings for another woman. You don't just leave your wife and child just because you feel like a dad.

You need to just let him go. Pathetic man-child.

This. Men seldom jump unless they have someone to jump to. I'm sorry OP but my guess is another woman.

The toddler years are tough and he's clearly not that bothered about family life. Prepare to be a single mum. Good luck.

Catsandcwtches · 27/09/2025 03:55

I’ve been in a similar situation, and we’re now divorced. It was a heartbreaking time and a total shock when he left. But to be honest I’m now happier. After he left life started to feel easier and less tense. Would you be okay financially without him?

DarkForces · 27/09/2025 04:04

So your dh is feeling neglected because you're having to pour your energy into your shared child? Get angry @justjane90 . Where's his responsibility for making his family happy and healthy? He's away over half the week, you're running around like a headless chicken and now you need to do more and take responsibility for his emotions as well as dealing your little one in the midst of the terrible twos? I'd be asking what he intends to do to change his miserable attitude. I'd suggest you need more time to do things for yourself than he does right now and he can have a great time bonding with his child while you're out having fun and will return feeling refreshed. He's a selfish twat.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 27/09/2025 08:06

Tell him to go. And ask him which half of every week he wants 24/7 care of his daughter going forward.

ComfortFoodCafe · 27/09/2025 09:05

Hes got someone else on the side, so sorry. Going forward id tell him 50/50 custody as he sounds like hes going to be a bit of a deadbeat!

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