9 month baby doesn't sleep through

[Colourfulltrees]

9 month baby he woke at 6am napped at 9 - 10.30am and napped again at 12 to 2pm. Then I put him down for sleep af around 8pm. He then wakes at 11pm and again at 1am and still won't go down. Been like this for ages now what do I do. He is being fed his 3 meals and milk he is a big baby. I just feel like I am going mad I dont no what to do

I was really upset thought having breakdown woke my toddler up....Just with the constant crying and csnt get baby down feel so overwhelmed Husband finally woke up and shouted at me said I shouldn't be acting like that

I am currently up with my 9 month old who is regularly up through the night still - 2/3 times most nights. My 3 year old toddler also still wakes up through the night every night. It is hard and very very tiring but it is very normal for babies not to sleep through the night at that age. It is developmentally normal and also helps prevent SIDS. Statistics from the lullaby trust say that around a third of all babies will never have slept through the night by age 1.

If you are struggling with it and having the reactions you mentioned in your post it may be an idea to see your gp re. your mental health and mood. It is normal for babies and toddlers to have wakeful periods and although very difficult for us as parents when we are not sleeping - it is not normal to have a breakdown in the middle of the night with crying that causes your toddler to wake up. There may be something they can offer to help how you cope with these situations.

You also mentioned constant crying - is this all the time or new for baby? Is there something causing pain or discomfort? Could it be teething? An illness?

Wake periods for a baby of 9 months old are suggested to be from around 2.5 hours to 4 hours. A wake period from 2pm to 8pm for a baby of that age is quite long. Could baby have been over tired when they went down causing the wakeful night? It’s not always possible but maybe search a typical nap/sleep schedule for a baby of that age and try and follow it for the next few days and see if that helps with the sleeping overnight.

Other than shouting at you for crying which is not helpful, what is your husband doing to help when you are struggling with baby overnight? You are not the only parent and if you are not getting enough/any sleep, he needs to be taking a turn too regardless if he is working. You are working too by looking after a baby and a toddler all day.

I really feel for you OP, I know it is not easy but it is just a stage it will pass (although it feels never ending just now 😅)

Hope you’re ok that sounds really horrible to be shouted at by your husband. As the lovely poster above has suggested maybe try bath and bed earlier for your toddler and baby… start bedtime routine at 6ish?? You could also chat to your health visitor as they’re there to support you.

Is he awake too long between second nap and bedtime? Also its totally normal so don't sweat it too much, sometimes that makes it more stressful instead of just accepting it 😊

Thank you for your replies. I have been to the GP and he has given me sertraline but I dont no if I feel comfortable taking it. I dont no.

Yes I tried to follow a routine it says a baby should have two naps at 9 montsh and not to sleep after 3.30pm. I pick the kids up at 3, so I tried to nap baby after 12 till 2 but like u all say it is a large gap until 2 pm. Sometimes he has a nap at 6pm until 7 to 7.30pm byt then that is too late for bed time.

Maybe im wrong to act like that but I find the crying noise awful it breaking me i feel guilty saying that but when u are with kids 24/7 it's hard. I dread bedtime sometimes I wish didnt have to wake from it

Thank you to does make me feel better that I am not the only one. Sometimes u feel like u r. He got up and rocked him for a bit, I sat at the end of my toddlers bed. But he just shouted and swore at me and it made me feel worse maybe I am doing it all wrong. They have given me sertraline but I haven't taken it I think maybe it make me feel worse but how can it get worse maybe I should take it this morning

You definitely are not alone in this! And you are not doing anything wrong.

Re. the naps my baby usually wakes around 6/6.30 then first nap at 8.45-10, second nap around 12.30-2.30 then usually has a very short 20 minute or so nap at 4 to tide her over until bedtime.

Sorry your husband wasn’t helpful to you overnight, that makes things extra difficult when you don’t get the support you need. Maybe the shouting was a one off due to tiredness but maybe a serious discussion with him is needed about you need from him to help you with the children.

Glad to hear you have already been to the gp - I cannot give you any advice re. the sertraline as I am not a medical professional have no experience with this medication. Do you have any hobbies you do to take time away for yourself? That could help or even just some fresh air on your own or with friends/family.

Ah, Sweetheart, you sound exhausted and unsupported by your husband.
Unfortunately, not sleeping through at 9 months is totally normal but doesn't make it any less exhausting.
Take the sertaline. If you don't get on with it, you can stop, but it's definitely worth a try.
Today is a new day. Try and do something just for you - even if that is just washing your hair in the shower - and find time to chat to your husband about a way forward.
For us, that looed lie a very early bedtime for me, DH doing wakes before midnight. And at the weekend, I'd get up at crack of dawn with the none sleeping child, and about 9am go wake DH. He'd then go out for the morning with the kids, and leave me to sleep. Those 2 mornings of sleep, plus sertaline, are what saved me. (DH absolutely doesn't do mornings - and I dont do late nights, we've worked to our own strengths. Many would say he should have got up at 5.30 at the weekends)

I hope this was a one off and your husband is usually more supportive, otherwise I think he is contributing more to your issues than the baby.

About 9 months is when the lack of sleep really started to get to me. I had some really scary moments of feeling like I was going to hurt baby if they didn't sleep. I realised that even if my husband was getting up to settle them, it still disturbed my sleep so for a few weeks, I slept on the sofa with white noise on during his shift. That helped. Then I realised I needed more me time. So I made sure each week I got a long, uninterrupted bath and also a 1h coffee shop break, phone off. I try to make one gym class a week too. That's just 3h a week but it makes a huge difference. Please make sure you're getting time to yourself to fully switch off.