End of life care

[chocolateluvva]

I don’t know if it’s in the right subject.

My parent is currently receiving end of life care, I don’t know how long this may be and the Drs are unsure of this at the moment. We aren’t on the best of terms and neither in the rest of the family of my unwell parent. I’m in a dilemma of we have a family holiday booked and my young kids are really looking forward to this next month & now I don’t know what to really do.

my parent has been very very selfish and I don’t really know how to figure what I want to do.

any thoughts?

I probably sound awfully horrible right about now.

I think you have to decide what you can live with if anything happens whilst you’re away . It’s a very personal choice . If you are happy in the knowledge they may die and you won’t be there then go. If this bothers you then don’t go .

There is a topic called 'elderly parents' in 'other stuff' that might be more useful for information and support.
My own mother lasted about 8 weeks on end of life care.
Obviously there's so many factors that can influence the outcome.. I was lucky to have been with her at the end but she was a lovely mum. I can't imagine the decision you will have to make.
As the pp says you will have to think about how you might feel if you choose to go away and the time comes.
All I can say is that my Mum would have totally understood if I'd made the choice to take her beloved grandchildren on a holiday.. because she was a decent person.
Only you can decide. I'm very sorry for your dilemma.

Thank you both for your comments. Due to the very hostile relationship we’ve shared the past 15years apart of me tells me it won’t bother me. Other part tells me I’m going to look like a really horrible person.

I think I’d rearrange irrespective of history it would cast a shadow over the holiday
go when you can enjoy yourself

I’ve posted it in elderly parents x

End of life can actually mean death is expected in the next 12 months, so not necessarily imminent. Can you discuss this with anyone supporting in a medical capacity? It’d be a shame to miss your holiday if it’s unlikely to happen soon. My 97 year old friend has been end of life since January and is still going, albeit quite weak now.

I’m not on the best of terms with my mum. I wouldn’t miss a family holiday to be around when she dies. That’s just how it is. 🤷🏻‍♀️ You have to choose what’s best for you.

Look like a really 'horrible person' to who?
The only person you have to make peace with is yourself...
Please try and get some talking help maybe?