What makes a happy & successful teenager?

[Likeaburstcouch]

Speaking as a former 'off-the-rails' teenager who was just trying to tick off extreme / illegal life experiences as quickly as possible - did anyone here have a balanced, happy and even successful life as a teenager? I'm imagining someone having a nice steady group of friends, doing their work at school & college, maybe doing sports. Figuring out a goal and working towards it.

Bonus points if you can share what you think caused / contributed to it.

I have had the same friends since school. Went to an all girls grammar school, worked hard and had ambitions. Worked part time since age 15. Have 3 degrees including a doctorate. However I partied a lot from age 15 to early 20’s including dabbling in recreational drugs, going to illegal raves, some dubious boyfriends etc.

what made the difference was loving parents and a stable home life. My parents were probably a bit naive and very trusting but I always got up for school, was never in trouble at school, got mostly A grades, held down jobs, have never to this day had an argument with my parents so in their eyes I was no trouble. Also a consistent friend group with similar ambitions was very important.

as adults now we do laugh about some of the things we got up to as teens and my parents just roll their eyes.

Yes, that's me.

This is the Google AI summary of what the authoritative parenting style is. And it's exactly how my parents were (although I wouldn't call them "tough" at all):

"The authoritative parenting style is a balanced approach characterized by high levels of demandingness and high levels of responsiveness. Authoritative parents set firm, reasonable expectations and boundaries while also providing warmth, support, and respect for their child's autonomy and feelings. They encourage independence and open communication, using discipline as a supportive tool to teach and help children learn from their actions. This "tough but fair" or "firm but nurturing" style is generally associated with the healthiest outcomes for children, fostering confidence, responsibility, and self-regulation. "

And looking back I think my all-girls secondary school was similar. Strict but not silly-strict.

Then the magic ingredient is probably luck. (Genetics, good circumstances, being in school before the internet and social media. Growing up in a time/place where feminism was taken for granted.)

None of it is stuff you can control yourself as a YP.

I found being present was the single most important factor in raising my children and I extended that right through the teen years.