2yo nearly 3yo can unbuckle car seat

[ecossegirl91]

My little one who is nearly 3 has recently started pushing the button and unbuckling themselves from their car seat.
Ive tried pulling over (when safe and annoyingly not always possible) and rebuckling and emphasising sternly it’s unsafe.
I’m also happy to try turning the car around and returning home if we are going somewhere fun but this method won’t work when we are going to nursery.
I could also try taking away a favourite toy but I’m not sure if he would understand the direct link between involving the car seat and removal of his toy?

I’ve seen the cybex car seat which doesn’t have a typical 5 point harness and a lot of the comments seem to be that it’s good for escaping children. Anyone any experience or advice?

current car seat lasts until 4 so not a big deal if I need to get a new car seat provided it would help.

www.halfords.com/baby-and-child/car-seats/child-car-seats/cybex-pallas-b-i-size-car-seat---pure-black-halfords-exclusive-217507.html?gclsrc=aw.ds&_%24ja=tsid%3A%7Ccid%3A17136607329%7Cagid%3A%7Ctid%3A%7Ccrid%3A%7Cnw%3Ax%7Crnd%3A17918878640392917770%7Cdvc%3Am%7Cadp%3A%7Cmt%3A%7Cloc%3A9046949&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17141165404&gclid=CjwKCAjwisnGBhAXEiwA0zEOR0zJlZtciRapCD7ozcsgNiWRHZIgHtFZcAj2GoJjhdUnjYcn3CN3DhoCQuIQAvD_BwE

My 3yo does this too and I don't think there's anything at all I can do about it! I've gone with not making a big deal out of it , just reminding him to only do it when the car is stopped. It seems to be working, he gets very upset if I drive off when he's unbuckled and I haven't realised but I completely recognise that's down to personality type and won't work for everyone.
You do get seatbelt gathers if they can climb out of the 5 point harness but they're not helpful if they can just unclick!

My dc is 2 and has recently started getting out of her seat by pulling the arms down and climbing out. No matter how tight it is she escapes.
I've bought an escape-me-not but I know that they are frowned upon. That Cybex seat looks interesting. It may definitely be a good idea. That's mental that yours can open the harness! Wow.

What would probably work most effectively is really, really shouting, particularly if you're a gentle/non-shouty parent generally. Shout with fear about how dangerous it is (not anger because they're being naughty). When they see an adult really, genuinely scared they tend to take notice.

This is a situation where we spanked. It worked for us, but that’s down to individual choices.

My 2 year old undid her buckle as well. I pulled over every single time and rebuckled her with a no nonsense 'no, straps keep you safe' it sunk in.

I also had the Pallas G for my second child. I used it when he was 4 and it worked well for his first forward facing seat.

My DS used to do this from about 3 as well. I tied a cloth tightly around the buckle part with the button, double knotted. It worked but he screamed the entire journey!

Yes imagine my absolute horror going down the motorway and hearing mummy I did it I did it I pushed the red button. 🫠🫠🫠

You can try sticking a prickly bit of velcro on the buckle. It makes it hurt their fingers so they are less likely to try. Unfortunately the stiffness of the button is literally set in the legislation, so changing to another seat is unlikely to help very much unless it's a totally different type as said.

If he is usually amenable to rules, you could try telling him wow he is very clever/big/grown up to have figured it out, BUT now that he is so grown up it's also important to be responsible and safe. When we are driving, we need to keep the seatbelt on at all times, even when the car is stopped at a traffic light etc.

Tell him that he can open the car seat harness himself, but ONLY if he waits for the special magic word at the end of the car journey (e.g. 1...2...3...open! - doesn't matter what it is.) If he doesn't wait, then he won't be allowed to open it, and you'll have to open it for him (said in a stern/warning voice).

Most 2yos are not quite advanced enough to recognise the obvious logical problem with this - the promise of being allowed to do it themselves if they are very good and wait for the word is often enticing enough and they often take the responsibility very seriously. You can also get them to be the safety seatbelt officer, and check that everyone has their seatbelt on (including adults/baby siblings) before you start to drive and at random points during the drive.

The newer versions of the Cybex seats use a sort of seatbelt type buckle on the shield, which can probably be reached by the child, so I'm not convinced they are that great for preventing escapes for this reason. The older style ones, where the shield was held in by the car's seatbelt, were v good as younger children physically could not bend their arms around the shield to reach. You can still buy these, so might be an option if you get really stuck. The Cybex ones convert to very good high back boosters. Joie also have a couple if they still make them.

Definitely better to have a child restrained than unrestrained. But just a note to say, if you do this it's best to do it as short term as possible (to break the habit or let them get a bit more older/sensible) then swap to a looser covering or best of all remove it again, because the problem is if there was ever an accident involving fire, you need even a passerby or firefighter to be able to release the child from the seat as quickly as possible. That's one reason why the buttons are always red and placed very easy to see on a contrasting outer layer.

Obviously you balance the risk and an unrestrained child is 100% a bigger risk than a small chance of a specific kind of accident, there are genuine situations where covering the buckle with a tight covering would be best, but if this is not the case then do think carefully before using this solution.

I had this at the exact same age, I had a spin seat and my child stopped when forward facing. I really didn’t want to FF so early but a child actually strapped in FF was safer than a child climbing out of a RF seat whilst the car was moving.

I also taught mine when she figured out how to open it that age to only open it when we stopped. She really got into it and never did it when moving again.

I feel very qualified to answer this question!

My DC did exactly that - figured out how to unbuckle and get out (!) of two of his super safe and expensive car seats at the age of 2.5. It was a nightmare.

Two options:

1. You can buy an extra safety clip that will have an extra buckle that will hold him in place, and as it goes higher up, your DC would struggle to unclip it. But it's not perfect and might not work with your car seat.

1. 100% Cybex Pallas. I bought it and I love it. Happy to confirm it works as expected!

You can try taping the rough side of velcro onto the buckle - this can be uncomfortable for little fingers to press. Alternatively there are buckle covers sold by the in Car safety centre designed to prevent them accessing the buckle.
I believe the cybex pallas seat isn't really recommended due to being forward facing - typically its safer for them to rear face until age 4 or 5. The one forward facing seat that is recommended if other methods of preventing escape fail is the cybex aronis t which is similar to the pallas but has a built in air bag to help prevent the neck being thrown forward in a crash. It's not cheap though!!

This is a note just to say you’re not alone!!

DD started escaping before 2, she’s is 2.5 now and still escapes. We purchased an extra clip to go higher up on her chest but she can work out how to slip out awkwardly from this as well. Imagine driving 70mph on the M25 and up pops DD… 🙃

might be off to buy the Pallas!

We bought a little thing off Amazon that worked well and before that anytime she did it we pulled over immediately, extremely crossly.you can also buy glove sleeve things that cover their hands,my daughter wears them anyway but means they can't use fingers properly.

Have you tried the velcro trick?

Get some velcro / hook and loop tape, and put a piece on the button - prickly side up. This can be enough to discourage some kids.
You can try the besafe belt collector if needed.
Another one is trying a shirt on backwards over the straps - apparently.

I've seen these things recommended on car seat groups on fb.

If the velcro thing doesn't work teach them, the same way they learn anything else, that they can do the buckle when you tell them to. When you've stopped, parked and turned off the car. Maybe try bigging up the big responsibility to do their job but only when you tell them to.

Our boy could wriggle out of the straps on the Axkid which was meant to be super safe. We added extra attachments but they didn't work. We stopped to Re- tighten but there wasn't always a safe place to pull over in time.
Bought the cybex with the big thing across the tummy - he hasn't escaped once. I 100% recommend

Having read the above post about rf vs ff. Our older boy was RF until 4½. Second boy - we figured it was safer to be strapped in FF than loose in the car with a RF seat he could escape from

My older daughter was able to unbuckle herself fully when she was about 2 and a half. Did it on the motorway etc. One day I pulled in and let a roar out of me so loud she never did it again.
Child no 2. Couldn't give a shit what I say

My child can escape from the pallas. From everything we have tried, which has been a lot. Currently in the front, forward facing. Definitely not what we would choose, but no seat belt opening since, for 3 weeks. It was getting so that every journey meant her getting out of the seater, pulling over and drama. My nerves were wrecked. I am just glad to have some safety going on as opposed to being unrestrained in the back.

This was when I went for the “lose my shit” method. It was a smart motorway so nowhere to stop, she was fully unbuckled, I really shouted. Generally speaking, I am not a shouter, which I why I think it worked.

Big big shout.

We let him take it off when we arrive but if it's not at home he has to ask is (eg we might be making only a temporary stop).

My DS who had ADHD learned that trick at 17 months. Then he used to lean forward and pull my ponytail when I was driving. I had no choose I used to tie a chiffon scarf around the buckle and do 2 knots to keep him in. I know it wasn't ideal but it was safer than him unbuckling himself.

I can recommend this seatbelt lock from Amazon. Very simple cover which restricts access to the button to undo seatbelt. Worked for my Houdini who was 3. He was in the five point belt which he used to pull his arms out of and unbuckle so put him into the regular belt which was also compatible with his car seat.

The lose my shit method didn't work here, I occasionally shout but certainly this is not my MO. He got scared and cried/screamed for ages which made the drive itself dangerous, but we had to drive off eventually, we could not just chill out on the hard shoulder for hours till he's in a better mood, and he was so upset it would've taken ages. Another time after this, he was having a tantrum and unbuckled himself from a different car seat, in a different car AND got out. Luckily not on a motorway. DH lost his shit then (and he hardly ever, ever even gets cross) and well, guess what 🙄 he tried again.

Rear facing is recommended for as long as possible as it is the safest for young children BUT it may be a factor in that kids are getting bored and try to get out or they get motion sickness more, in which case it is undoubtedly safer to change to forward facing on balance.