I just need to moan, tbh

[MitochondriaMatriarch]

None of our friends have children and our parents were parents to tiny people 30+ years ago, so they just can't remember being in the trenches, can they? And I have no one else to moan to who will just be like "I feel ya! I get it! It sucks!!!" And understand after all this, I still love my offspring.

But the most BORING thing I find about parenting is when the child naps in the car for a measly 5 mins and then that's it, bedtime is out the window. And I absolutely loathe and detest when our friends and our mothers go "but that's part of it, cherish it! They only need you for such a short amount of time!!!!!!"

No, you know what. I won't miss this. I won't be like "awwwhhh remember when they slept for 5 minutes in the car and then we didn't get to eat dinner until midnight 😌😍"

And we tag team and take it in turns but you can't do anything when you're on the bench because the SLIGHTEST noise starts it all over again. And you have to be on alert for "more snacks, please!" And to stop the dog from barking because the neighbour had the audacity to return home (that's not me thinking that, that's the dog).

It's just BORING. At least with a tantrum or something you are working through a problem that has a solution and as you get to know each other you get better at finding a resolution more quickly. But this... this just has one ending and that's sitting in the dark, silent like you're in A Quiet Place, praying that you will eat some time before 10pm. Waiting until they are in a deep enough REM cycle you can slither off the bed and commando crawl out of the bedroom without a tiny clammy hand grabbing you and a voice in the dark saying "but mummy... I'm not tired".

I feel better now. Still posting this in case there is another mum or dad out there sitting in the dark, hungry, confused, and tired, waiting to be brought back into the game of "how many times can I read That's Not My [insert animal] before I go mad".

Good luck!!!!!!!

YANBU and you made me remember the horror and fear of them falling asleep in the car and then refusing sleep for hours - death to your evening.

I also remember how carefully I waited until the breathing seemed to indicate sleep, how gently I laid them down and how much my heart sank when they woke up 20 seconds later.

I am now so far out from the tedium of small child parenting that I do look on fondly at the small ones (and it does go by very quickly)

Moan away. We do not all enjoy all stages of parenting. Some people like littles, some people like older and some people wonder what the hell they've done.

I have an 18 month old and I felt every part of your post in my very soul.

I can love my child and not love every fucking moment. Both statements can be true at the same time 😆

For me it’s the whining. A full on cry is almost better- but the high pitched whine can go on for hours and it sometimes feels like it’s vibrating into my very bones.

Hahaha, I lived a version of this today, where my baby napped for about a nanosecond in the car at midday, so refused to nap all afternoon. So I had to put her bed at 6pm because otherwise we'd have ended up in that weird "over tired" scenario, where she simultaneously wants to go to sleep and doesn't want to go to sleep. So I'll expect her to wake up around 4am. But yes, cherish it all...

God, that fucking five minute car nap!!!

I'm sat in my three year old's room waiting for her to sleep, also have an almost 9 month old baby who I pray stays asleep!

The dog likes to pretend there are imaginary threats outside that must be barked at.

It's a lot, and it's relentless. My mum also goes "oh cherish the moment" - no mother, I won't cherish the fucking moment when everyone is doing my head in 😂

Obviously love them but Christ do I wish we had weekends off.

Moan away x

Parenting is relentless, but I've never understand the danger nap thing. All 3 of mine could nap whenever and still go to bed normal time. We were out all day yesterday and toddler napped for the whole 2 hour drive home (4-6pm), then he was still in bed by 7! I defo got good sleepers. But my god I got squabblers...

Woah that's incredible. We delay drives until bedtime whenever possible as zero chance they would go to sleep.

Also the way some children, if you kept them up late, would then sleep late the next morning! Fat chance mine would do that, no - they just robbed me of my evening and STILL woke at four forty-five, and were thoroughly vile all day due to lack of sleep.

@Hotdoughnut my 3 year old is like this. He can nap for however long in the car and he's still tucked up with mr bunny snoring his head off for 7:30pm. My 8 month old is made of stronger, more stubborn stuff. A whiff of sleep in the car and that's that. She managed 8 hours awake this afternoon/evening because she shut her eyes briefly in the car at lunch time.

I went though a phase of delaying leaving places at like 4-6pm due to danger naps, instead delaying until 7pm and putting child in pjs before leaving, expecting them to fall asleep. Child, who would happily fall asleep in clothes at 4pm in the car, can stay away for a 2.5 hour drive at 7pm (aka her usual bedtime) when dressed in pjs. Ridiculous.

I hear you OP. Lots of toddler parenting is relentless and tedious. My baby had a danger nap on the first day of the summer holidays and that seemed to screw up his sleep for the whole 6 weeks!!!!

I would recommend sleep training of some description though, so you don’t have to hold the child/sit in their room til they sleep. Makes them sleeping a lot less boring if you can be downstairs while they’re not sleeping!!

Haha! A 5 minute ‘danger nap’ at 4pm and it pushed bedtime out by 2 hours.. make it make sense! We are a few years out of this stage now but remember it very well, putting the windows down in the car and turning the radio up to keep them awake! Miss many things from that stage but definitely not that.

Ohh gosh the whining! It does, it cuts through you!

Hope you got a little bit of a lie in! By which I mean 6am... which to other people would classify as an early start!!

I hate those responses! Can parents just agree that there will be some things we'll miss terribly and others we'll trauma bond over? The people who give those responses remind me of that "pregnant women are smug" song by Garfunkel and Oats.

I hope you got a shower/hot cuppa/break! And that the snotty noses dry up soon! <3

I'm not entirely sure how you reply to people on this and I appear to just be adding new posts! Let's blame mum brain!

But thank you to everyone who replied with their own moans! It's nice to feel like we're all in similar, if not the same, boats!!

Here's hoping everyone got to finish a hot drink today (without needing to warm it back up in the microwave!) ❤

I take your small naps and raise you ‘small world play’ honestly it’s mind numbing, boring and rubbish! It’s like having a tiny little hitler boss you about for not ‘playing’ correctly. Mine are older now and play with each other and I don’t miss that stage at all, it wasn’t fun and I don’t look back with fond memories!

DS is nearly 4 and the amount of people since he was born reassuring me “it’s just a phase” when I’m drowning in another tantrum/lack of sleep/relentlessness is just noise now.

Its been nearly years- it’s not a phase 🤣

My DD was a different kettle of fish, but now she apparently knows better than me.

Both delightful children sometimes but F me, I’ve got a permanent twitch.