So my child’s dad was an abusive man. I stupidly never pressed charges but my son grew up in a house where I had to protect him a lot from his dad thinking he could shout at him for the slightest thing and a dad that was never hands on and was always angry and shouting.
I managed to escape that relationship and my now 11 year old still doesn’t like going to his dads. I have meltdowns, tears, massive anxiety. School even have it written in his ehcp to explain why on days he has scheduled visits the day before he needs extra support and lots of reassurance. He sees his dad 4 hours per month. He sees him every other weekend for two hours to go swimming. I even then have to be on call as he doesn’t feel safe with his dad.
His dad now has a new girlfriend who he needs to impress as she has two kids so obviously is now dad of the year and wants our 11 year old to now spend over night stays with him and the gf and days out. I have said it’s up to our son if he wants to go and when asked I get tears and screaming that he doesn’t want to go. The ex is now saying I need to force him or else in his words and apparently it’s my fault he was never hands on. What can I do in this situation? Seriously affect his mental health? Have massive breakdowns? I’m on the verge of conquering toilet training (he is autistic) but then when he goes to his dads that goes out the window for a few days before and and few days after. The new gf seems to think I’m the issue. I honestly wish I pressed charges so she could see him on Clare’s law for herself and realise I’m just protecting our disabled child who doesn’t want to go. Any advice?