Baby won’t settle in next2me/moses basket

[Friedseasalt]

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice on getting my little one to sleep in her Next2Me or Moses basket (1 month old). She’ll happily nod off in my arms, but the second I put her down she wakes almost straight away. She’s also constantly grunting and pulling her legs up, which makes me wonder if that could be part of the problem.

The sleep deprivation is really starting to take its toll—I feel like I’m on the verge of tears most of the time. Any tips, tricks, or reassurance would be so appreciated right now. I obviously don’t expect a full nights sleep but an hour here or there would be nice.

The grunting and pulling their legs up is very normal, look it up. A lot of them do it. DH and I used to take shifts sleeping in another bedroom as my son's grunting was SO loud. It stopped around 4 months.

The answer to your question is co-sleeping. Buy a firm mattress and put baby next to you.

Unless he has reflux, like my son. He spent a good chunk every night for the first 6 weeks of his life vertically on my chest or DH's. Poor thing kept bringing up sick as soon as he was laid down.

The sleep deprivation is par for the course I'm afraid and you won't get a full night sleep for a very very long time.

And try the arms up swaddle, my son loved that, really helped settle him.

Ok, so I also found this with both of mine. It’s really, really hard because sleep really affects you. Can you do split nights? With my first my husband used to do the first shift until 2am or so. Then I would do the second from then on. My friend does it a different way, her and her husband trade off with each other, one does a full night with baby while the other gets a full night sleep, then swap. The lack of sleep and feeling like I was ‘doing it wrong’ with my first out me on the verge of postnatal depression so I understand how hard it can be.

With my second we took a different approach. I was breastfeeding and we had a three year old that I needed to be rested to care for so I followed the safer sleep seven and bed shared with her. This worked well for us as everyone could sleep.

Babies are hardwired to need you, and adjusting to being needed all of them time is a really challenging part of parenthood.

Not for everyone but I just started to co sleep with my first when she was 3 weeks because of the sleep deprivation and grunting noises. It immediately helped and we both slept much better. Co slept with my 2nd and 3rd too. Worked really well for those early months but then they started to move about transitioned them into the cot (about 6 months). It feels never ending at the time but it passes and it does get better.

This was a game changer for us, and swaddles

https://purflo.com/sleep-tight-baby-bed/

The arms up swaddled helped a lot for us, and warming up the crib with a hot water bottle before putting them down. But one month is still tiny, taking shifts or bed sharing will help feet some sleep for you.

I’m afraid this is most (not all) babies, especially at 4 weeks. I started to be able to put both babies down for a couple of hours in the moses basket at the start of the night around 8 weeks, then from their first wake up they came into bed with me. If you do bed share then side lying feeding (if you bf) can also help as you can rest more too. Tricks to try - warming the crib up with a warm hot water bottle (not too hot obvs), arms up swaddle like a love to dream, sleeping with the crib sheet so it smells of you. It will get slowly easier, and you will also get more used to broken sleep so it doesn’t feel quite so bad but it’s a very very tough time. I never managed to share the night with partner but even him taking baby for an hour in the morning made a difference. You’re doing great, hang in there.

Co sleep - this saved my sanity.

Split the nights with a partner.

Line the bed with a hot water bottle and a shirt of yours, take out the hot water bottle but leave the shirt.

My first DS was a blur of no sleep , in the end at about 8 months we started co sleeping .

My 2 DS is 7 months now , but we done split shifts with him . He couldn't lay down because of horrific reflux , and he was 9 weeks prem so when he was out of NICU and home we had to feed him a bottle every 3 hours from the start of the last one as he only weighed 4 pounds. But split shifts worked best , my DP would do until about 3am (I would go to bed at 9pm). He'd then wake up about 8:45 for work. My days felt SO long , but it worked much better as at least we both had 5-6 hours solid sleep.

Neither of mine would go in a moses basket!

DC1 wouldn't sleep not on me/DH for about the first 3 months of her life and also refused to go in a pram (I had to wear her when out and about!).

Like others - co-sleeping, doing shifts with your DH, and remembering that this too shall pass! It's utterly exhausting though.

This is how I ended up a co-sleeper. 6 months on and she's still in my bed, which I don't hate 😊

Love 2 dream swaddle suit (the arms up one) and a rolled up towel arranged in a horse shoe shape under the fitted sheet (essentially what a sleepyhead is but a lot cheaper!).

I know someone will comment that this doesn't constitute safe sleeping but it worked for us and I'm pretty sure they do it in NICU cribs.

Sounds like a very normal newborn!! But it's so so tough I know. Try a love to dream swaddle, these really helped for my baby. But ultimately it's probably your babies temperament

We did split nights. I tried to sleep 8-1am. Husband brought the baby up at 1am. It wasn’t great but it was better than nothing. Then later I discovered side feeding and co sleeping. Did it straight away with dc2 and dc3 to save my sanity

Try a love to dream swaddle bag. And when you’re putting her in the Moses basket make sure you’re doing it feet first, then bum, then back and head. I spent months putting mine in flat and then waking immediately! Quite a steep angle works so much better