HELP!! Three year old waking up in the night

[Mrspeacee]

Hello,

my three year old keeps waking up multiple times in the night scared of monsters, saying she’s hungry or asking for more light.

she has a night light and if she needs comfort a Tonie to play relaxing music and Teddy. I think I wake up about at least 5 times in the night. It’s been going on for nearly two weeks and I’ve got to the point of exhaustion. I don’t want to give up and let her sleep in my bed every night but this is causing me to go to work tired, my concentration is so poor now and my brain is scrambled.

I don’t know what to do I’ve tried everything

My 6 year old still calls for us. We take it in turns to sleep in her bed (she has a double for this reason).

We start the night in our own bed and she'll call at some point in the early hours. One of us gets in with her and she goes back to sleep straight away. If we didn't get in with her, she would keep waking up. This way, we all get maximum sleep.

One day she'll stop calling and quite honestly, I'll miss it.

Sorry, I have no other solution but I accept that not everyone would like our approach.

Is this a sudden change? Has anything been going on in real life which could cause unsettled thoughts or bad dreams? Starting nursery, moving house, someone getting sick, watching a sadder/scarier TV programme? It can be really trivial stuff. One of mine gets a bit unsettled if we discuss what we're doing tomorrow and she doesn't like it! So we don't tell her about things we're doing until breakfast the next day!

What is your bedtime routine like?

Two big things have changed she now does not have a dummy and she has started a new nursery.

Routine after nursery is dinner, play, milk, bath and story read in bed. She will go down fine usually for this. It all starts around 2am hence why I’m awake now 😅

Snap! Mine has been awake twice tonight already. My husband tried to go to her the second time but she wanted me (hence me being up now!) Not great when my alarm is set for 5.30am! I also struggle with insomnia so I don't always get back to sleep. I think she gets cold sometimes but won't accept a blanket! Its quite windy outside tonight too, which you can hear a bit on the window. Hoping its just a phase!

you haven’t tried everything -
you haven’t tried co-sleeping -
that will sort it
and it won’t be forever
loads of parents do it, in order to get a good night sleep - ironically

Exactly the same here for our 3 year old. He’s started talking about being scared of aliens. I think their imaginations are wild at this age

He goes down fine as well OP, and also wakes around 2. He slept through until just before his baby brother was born so think change is a big trigger. I should note that his brother is now 8 months old so
it has been long lasting!

Check for pinworms. Is she potty trained? Does she wipe herself? Does she use a communal bathroom in the nursery? How often do children and staff wash hands? Are hands washed before meals and snacks? Do staff wear gloves for food handling? Do staff wash hands before touching food? What sort of training and messaging do staff receive around personal hygiene/ washing their hands after bathroom use?

Also, ask gentle questions about the staff in the nursery. Who is her favourite and why? Who is her least favourite and why? What happens when someone cries/ doesn't follow the rules/ when someone hits someone else or takes a toy, etc? Don't assume your child hasn't experienced an adverse incident just because you didn't get an incident report

she used to jump in bed with me in the early hours of the morning so I could get more sleep. But I really need time for myself even if that’s in bed

I do try to ask about nursery and she says she likes it and is happy there. When I try to ask about friends there and teachers she gets a bit confused and starts talking about her cousin who is her most favourite person and no one else😂

I reckon you have identified the cause! Nursery or dummy. Hopefully that means whichever one it is, she will settle again in a couple of weeks (assuming there are no actual problems at nursery and it's just the new environment).

In case it's the dummy, what about getting her a new cuddly toy? Find one that is easy to hug - really cute, soft, and the right size to hug to her chest if she curls around it. Then bang on about how Teddy will keep her safe and look after her. Encourage her to give it a name and then use the name relentlessly so it gets a real character and seems comforting and like her friend. Worked for one of mine. It's quick and easy to try, and you only lose a tenner if it doesn't work for you!

That’s the dilemma then -
more time for yourself in bed and less sleep !!
or sleep with her and get more sleep 😊

Have you checked what she's watching or doing in the morning? It could be a big factor in why your child keeps waking up multiple times at night. Make sure to monitor and filter what she's watching if you are allowing her to use a gadget to watch random videos online. Letting her drink a glass of milk before bedtime can also help.

We have the same here. DS gets up anytime between 1 and 4am and walks in to our bedroom. We just let him get in to our bed and me and DH alternate which one of us buggers off to the spare room.

Me and DH actually talked about it this morning and whether we should be pushing DS to do a full night in his own bed on his own but have concluded it’s not forever and for things are working

It's a fairly normal if excruciating phase in my experience. Coincided with night terrors too and no access to anything more dodgy than a spot of Sarah and Duck before bedtime.
Oddly had it with the first child but not the second so suspect it had something to do with having her older sister in her room with her.
We put a pull out mattress under her bed and just put her back to bed and went to sleep beside her. Co-sleeping meant no one got any sleep even if one of us went to a spare room as she did cartwheels in her sleep in a big double. She grew out of it.

The other thing I did notice is that a proper adult sized soft pillow and a teddy helped. They do like to snuggle down at that age.