F@@@ I’m pregnant again

[Autumnishere2025]

I have just done a pregnancy test which had a BFP. I have 3 kids nearly 5, 3 and 1.
My DH and I are happily married and we have a good income, have a big house, nice cars, go on holidays a few times per year. We have a loving family and supportive extended family, although not nearby. We both have fantastic careers (he is the breadwinner) although I have been cruising for past year for the kids or so but remain senior.
We have suffered so many MCs in the past so our babies were all very much wanted, planned and very much loved. I could never terminate given my history, I have had so much loss that it traumatised me to the core.
Since I had my 3rd I did have a bit of longing for just 1 more (but we were fully aware of the challenges) so my DH and I both sat on the fence. We didn’t really plan this out but obviously weren’t too careful and thought given our age and this being the last chance we would see we’re things would take us. I did not expect this so soon as I haven’t even had a period since my 3rd, I’m totally shocked. I’m also scared and worried for my DH that he will stress a 4th may tip us over the edge to make some lifestyle changes to our comfortable and privileged lives.
Now I’m in this position (DH is away at work for 3 days) my mind is just jumping to wondering how the f* am I going to cope with 4!!!
I am about to go back to work in 3 weeks time and will be embarrassed to finally tell them I’m pregnant again, not that my personal life is of their business, but still to go back pregnant again is just crazy!
Where do I start? Should I tell my DH while he’s away or wait til he comes home? I know he will become very stressed by this. He wouldnt put any pressure on me to terminate, not that I want to (I think).

Aghhhh!!! Any advice please…..

Considering your past medical history I would recommend not jumping the gun, just calm down and give yourself until the 1st scan to not think much on it.

Oh bless you. Yes I think I would tell your DH if I were you.
We had 4 in 6 years (so very similar gaps to you) and have loved (almost!) every minute of it. They’re all in their twenties now.

Hum, given your age,are you 50! You said you weren't too careful,an awful lot of people don't seem to realise how fertile you are after having a baby..I would not be inclined to tell DH over the phone..you said you have a history of MC, so it might not come to term. You did say just one more,will there be another "just one more".

How old are you? I wouldn’t be telling anyone anything just yet given your history. I hope everything works out for you, you will manage just fine with 4 😊🤞🏻
Edit to say, I’d tell dh when he’s home.

Thank you, this is good advice!

How old are you? It can’t be that much of a shock given you’ve got a 1 year old?

Well it's not a surprise given that despite your miscarriages (which I am not underestimating the trauma of) you are clearly still very fertile. That said, breathe, and see if this one sticks. It will be a strain undoubtedly, but if you can manage all of that with three I reckon you can do it with four!

Your MATB1 deadline isn’t until 15 wks before due date. I wouldn’t rush to tell them, probably wait until 18 weeks & just say - complete shock.
Tell your DH, but wait until he’s home.

I had an unexpected 4th baby

We were in a very tricky place financially. One car, one week holiday a year in England. I had training in place but couldn’t go ahead with it.
That baby, obviously now an adult, has brought me and their siblings so much joy. They are much loved by us all.
You will be fine OP and I wish you all the best.

I know it’s condescending but Calm Down !!! This baby is obviously wanted , you have a good life , this he will be hectic but good . You will be ok .
Im saying this as someone that has tried for a 4 th and had 2 miscarriages . You are just overthinking everything because that’s what we do , speaviqlly with the MCs traumas . Hugs

Thank you! 🙏

Stay calm and wait and see. Tell your husband and tell anyone else you can trust who you feel close to. Don’t tell your employer. If baby survives it sounds like you will definitely be able to support him or her. Fingers crossed for you that everything works out x

Congratulations!
Call your husband and tell him.

Agreed, I wouldn’t be telling them until beyond 20 weeks at least, I have a lot of milestones to get through first.

Why would you think I’m 50!?? Huh?

How old are you?

Several people have asked and you've avoided the question?

weren’t too careful and thought given our age I’m guessing because you said ‘given our age’ and PP is pointing out that unless you’re 50 it’d be foolish to think you wouldn’t conceive.

yes the rest of the sentence said (typical
Mn taking half the sentence out!!!)….
“ but obviously weren’t too careful and thought given our age and this being the last chance we would see we’re things would take us.”

im 38!!!

A lot of you asking why am I surprised, all pregnancies give a surprise reaction even though there is a likely outcome from our actions. I don’t understand why people think a new pregnancy can’t give an instant surprise reaction, it’s why people have to do pregnancy tests. It’s not obvious until you do a test..

Thank you.
im going to hold out u til he comes back as i dont want to interrupt his work atm. he will get too distracted.

You said "given our age", obviously it was tongue in cheek!