5 year old daughter wetting herself at school

[ALP200605]

My daughter is in year 1 and is coming home from school everyday with wet knickers as she’s wet herself. She never tells the teacher and never gets herself changed. I’ve spoken to the teachers, but when they ask if she needs to go she says no. I think she’s worried about missing out as also wet herself a lot in reception (nearly every day). I’ve tried speaking to her about it firmly, tried calmly, tried getting family to speak to her about it, tried sticker charts, tried treats at the end of the week etc but she doesn’t seem phased by it. I’m at a complete loss as to what I can do to get her to stop. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated!

Is there a noisy hand dryer or anything in the toilet at school that makes her not want to enter that space? I’m aware of a child who was too scared to use the school toilet because it was an internal room and the light was motion sensitive so would turn off and plunge him into darkness once he was still. In the other toilet the light was on the outside of the room and other kids would switch it off when someone went in for a joke 🙄If you’ve not seen the space yourself could you ask the teacher to let you go in and scope it out at some point so you can see if there’s anything in there that might be worrying for her?

What's the barrier to her using the toilet?
My daughter was having frequent accidents in reception one of her issues was only being able to ask a couple of people to use the toilet. The teachers made some cards for needs including the toilet so she could give one of those to the adults instead. The teachers went back to telling her to use the toilet rather than asking if she needed it. We found she would be asked by a teacher who she was comfortable with and not fully need it but then 20 minutes later actually need it but be with someone she wasn't comfortable asking. We have worked really hard at home on her using the toilet on demand and I think this is probably the thing that has made the biggest difference.
It took a while to get the school in board. They had been treating it as a toileting problem rather than a communication problem. Once we started improving her comfort around unfamiliar adults she started to have fewer accidents.

If the usual tricks for improving toilet accidents aren't working I'd explore what's going on for them and stopping them from engaging with the staff and using the toilet

The ERIC website might have some good info. As well as advice from pp upthread, sounds left field but might be worth ruling out constipation as well.

When my DD first started school the children were afraid of the teacher and especially frightened of asking to go to the toilet. My DD actually walked out of the classroom and came home. Luckily I was in but she had crossed a very busy road.

Is this the problem for your DD? Is she afraid to ask the teacher?