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Original poster

11 month old development

31 replies

Hydrangea60 · 13/09/2025 17:40

My son is 11.15 months old and I have concerns about his development. There is a history of autism in my family, the extent of which I wasn't fully aware before I got pregnant.

He failed the ASQ a couple of weeks ago on pretty much everything except problem solving. His communication is particularly poor (he scored in the black area for this). This is because he can't follow instructions, say any words, point or play a nursery game when you ask him to.

He can clap and wave but does this when he wants to rather than when you ask him to (although he does sometimes copy). I don't know whether he just doesn't understand, or if he understands but won't listen. Both are obviously a concern. He babbles a lot but nothing that could be interpreted as a word. I've been signing to him for months but he has no interest in it so I've almost given up with it now.

I'm finding it hard to teach him words because all he wants to do is crawl around and cruise. He won't sit still and has no attention span whatsoever. He'll play with a toy for about 10 seconds before getting bored. His night sleep is generally good (he does about 7.30 to 6.30 with no wake ups most nights, apart from when he's ill or teething) but his daytime naps are terrible and always have been. Even as a newborn he slept fairly well at night but awfully during the day.

He's generally a very happy, smiley and sociable baby. He started nursery recently and seems to enjoy it, the staff have remarked on how well he's settled. He's very curious and affectionate and I did think all was OK, but the ASQ failure has been absolutely devastating. No one else I know has had to have a follow up review so I feel so alone.

I'm seeing the perinatal mental health team but am being discharged soon. They think I'm overreacting and that this is normal baby/toddler behaviour but apparently neither me nor my husband was like this, and the lack of communication is so worrying.

Has anyone else been in the same situation, and how did things turn out?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hydrangea60 · 23/09/2025 21:54

Avie29 · 14/09/2025 08:29

Hold on… my daughter is 21months and doesn’t really say any words, she says kitty and bye and thats about it, i think expecting words from an 11 month old is a bit much.
i have 2 diagnosed autistic children, my son in particular 10yo is non verbal, cognitive delay, still having toileting accidents, and sensory processing disorder and at 11 months seemed like any other 11 month old (hes a twin so literally had another 11month old right beside him) except he wasn’t crawling, he was diagnosed at 3.5, 11 months is way to early to be looking for signs of autism, give him another year and if still not communicating etc then look into it a bit further although my eldest son 13 didn’t talk or walk till he was nearly 2 due to glue ear, once that was sorted he was fine.
my daughter who is also autistic hit every milestone, passed all the development checks and it wasn’t untill she was 4/5 until i started to worry there was something not quite right about her thought process/ social skills and sensory problems.
my advice would be have his hearing checked, and give him time, stop reading about autism because honestly everyone has some sort of autistic trait and you will see it everywhere, get some cause and effect toys- it helps with anticipation, speech (ready set go!) eye contact and will help with clapping, pointing etc xx

Thanks, that's helpful to know

OP posts:
Original poster
Hydrangea60 · 23/09/2025 21:57

Nosleepforthismum · 14/09/2025 08:41

He’s probably fine. Mine was only just crawling by 11 months, ate sand, didn’t point or respond to his name and definitely didn’t follow instructions. I worried about autism for ages but he’s 4 now with only a very mild speech delay and all professionals we’ve spoken to aren’t concerned.

Mine failed every ASQ we were given but he got there in his own time. They are anxiety provoking for parents with very normal kids and I have lots of friends (with boys) that failed the 12 month ASQ so please don’t worry at all about this. He’s still a baby really.

Thank you for this, it made me cry a bit as I really needed some reassurance. I hope this will be the same for my son.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hydrangea60 · 23/09/2025 22:03

Btowngirl · 14/09/2025 08:48

OP, politely forget the milestones. Babies do things in their own time and the less pressure we put on them, the better. It will be protocol to follow him up, which is the right thing to do just in case. But just keep doing what you’re doing, play games with him and sing to him as normal.

If it offers any reassurance, our DD1 was basically able to sit at that age if we sat her up ourselves. She didn’t walk or talk until really late but was also really content and sociable. She’s 3 now and so chatty and kind and lovely and caring. She learnt to run recently which feels like a huge milestone for us, despite all our friends children running when they were between 12-18m. It just doesn’t matter what other children do if it’s going to stress you out and burden the relationship and interactions you and your DS have.

Things you can do low key to help, chat with him. Reiterate significant words such as drink, food, more etc. Learn some makaton and do these signs alongside the words as most children can sign before talking. Not sure how you feel about screen time but some programmes really helped progress our DD’s words like yakka Dee on bbc I player. There are those little card machines where they put cards in and it tells them the word, he sounds physically able so you could probably teach him to put them in himself.

This is reassuring, thank you :) it made me cry a bit as your daughter sounds very similar to my son. You're right, I have had issues bonding with him as well and to be honest I think the pressure I feel to desperately try and get him to do things isn't helping. I'll try what you suggest and see how we get on.

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Original poster
Hydrangea60 · 23/09/2025 22:05

Teachingagain · 14/09/2025 08:50

I disagree that you shouldn’t be concerned but I wouldn’t be jumping to autism. Ask the GP for a referal for a hearing test. Stastically it’s much more likely to be hearing issue than autism.

I'll ask about a hearing test, but from what I can tell I don't think there's anything wrong with his hearing. I think if he doesn't progress it's probably more indicative of autism in his case.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hydrangea60 · 23/09/2025 22:09

LegoHouse274 · 14/09/2025 09:06

@OtterMummy2024it will almost certainly be the correct age adjusted QSQ as there is one for the age OP suggests. It's a bit of a myth that the 1yr review assesses all children from 10 months with a 12+ month ASQ, they don't, there's different ones.

OP, my baby is just turning 11 months and almost exactly as you describe having just had his review the other week. He was also in the black for communication and just into the grey for gross motor. The communication I was well aware would be the case as he literally started making some consonent noises only the week before the review. This is my third baby so the difference between them and my older two with communication is stark as they were both at the early side with all their communication milestones. DC3 only babbles a little, can't point or wave, doesn't appear to understand much of what I say, doesn't bring or show me things, doesn't follow many commands etc. All that being said he is more physically able than either of my older two children were at this age (one was just starting to bum shuffle and the other was not mobile at all except for being able to roll a little). So I'm thinking it's probably a bit of a 'swings and roundabouts' situation really, they're all different with different interests.

The 10 second attention span is normal of all babies that age btw. It doesn't get better until they're a lot older!

Anyway the outcome of my DC3's review was that there going to call me again in 2 months and do another age adjusted screening for his communication then and see if he's caught up by then. I'm not confident he will, but I also know there's absolutely nothing that could be done about it now anyway. It's not like you can do speech therapy with a baby who isn't even 1! I'm not worried really, there's no point in worrying, it doesn't serve any useful purpose.

Thanks, our babies do sound very similar. I wish I could just not worry but I'm finding it very hard. I'm still crying about it most days to be honest and feeling increasingly isolated from the other mums I know.

OP posts:
Haveiwon · 23/09/2025 22:13

My son was in the black for gross motor at 12 months, and grey for communication. Did the follow up and he had progressed enough that they were happy to watch and wait.

No words until 19 months. 7 words at 30 months. Then all of a sudden, over a 6 week period the words arrived and he was talking like every other 2 and a half year old! I honestly didn’t think it was ever going to happen but it did!

He is only 3 and a half so can’t say how things are going long term - he is on the waiting list for an autism assessment but not sure now what that will show. And he can read like a 7 year old and do Year 1 maths so his late taking hasn’t held him back academically.

As long he is understanding I would try not to worry too much (easier said than done, i know!). Signing is great so keep going.

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