Anyone else with a 5 and 2 year old? What’s it like for you?

[tiredof2]

I have a 5 year old DS and a 2 year old DD.
DS has just started year 1 and DD is in nursery.

We have found over the last 6 months or so that day to day life just seems to feel like such a slog. I always knew 2 kids would be harder but it feels like my 2 just don’t interact well together, at all!

My DS is very hyper and he seems to think DD is just there to mess around with. When they’re together it becomes stressful within 2 minutes because they start climbing on everything or running around screaming.

I keep being hard on DS because I sort of expect him to be better and older and have a better understanding but I think sometimes I forget he is very young too. He’s become very argumentative recently, and on top of his usual stubbornness I’m finding him just bad company. I would say he’s never been an easy child but DD seems to make him worse.

I keep thinking, will it get easier or is this just the start? The weekends feel so full on, and if I’m honest DH and I both look forward to Monday so we can go back to work.

Anyone else?

hopeful Bump

With a 3 year old DS and 6month old DD I’m interested to see what other people say. I’ll be there in two years time

Currently have DD5 and DD almost 2. I don't really feel like this. It is hard but I wouldn't say they fight too much yet, maybe they will when DD is a bit older.

I feel like your saying when I have them on my own all weekend so perhaps if DH has gone to a stag do (rare), but normally we share the load and it's manageable. We also find that getting out as much as possible really helps x

2 boys soon to be 5 and soon to be 2,either they are playing wonderfully l, or it's hell with crying, fighting, screaming... It does get better as time goes by and they are more mature, but I have to instill positive behavior all the time. I agree that sometimes it feels like too much pressure and expectation on older one, but again he is 3 years older and it is different. I did stop, for example making him hand over whatever he's playing with to his older brother just because the LO is crying. He is entitled not to, and LO should learn not to get away with everything with crying or being younger.

Ive got Ds 5yo and dd 2yo (3 in Nov) on the whole they play very nicely together. Particularly outside in the garden. My 5yo comes up with games and the 2yo kind of follows him around.
Saying that, they do scrap a fair bit though, particulaly if I leave them to their own devices in the house.

My DS 5 and DS 2 play well together, frequent small fights but get over them quickly. They play really well outdoors, and also importantly I find they play much better when we are not right there watching. They resolve arguments themselves when left to it, if we intervene is where the whining starts which grinds my gears. I don't find it miserable and for us there are far more lovely moments of joy seeing them together than bad times. They will snuggle watching tv, hug a lot, laugh their heads off together. But I do empathise with your feelings about the pressure on the older, I also have to remind myself how young he is instead of always expecting him to give in to little bros demands or sort of supervise little one. I find that a hard balance for sure and he sometimes gets a raw deal.

I have 2 DD's almost 3 and almost 6, it's very mixed tbh some days they will play nicely all day and some days I feel like a referee they fight constantly. When they do start carrying on and screaming like you describe I usually try to distract them or separate them doing different activities. I've also started only intervening if someone is going to get hurt, they sort it out between themselves much quicker if I'm not involved. it can defo be a slog though overall I enjoy weekends as long as we're busy, I find them much easier to parent out of the house so try and get out as much as possible on a weekend even if it's just to the park.

Mine are older now, and they are girls, and were a bit calmer. But I was always happy for them to climb and run around, that's how kids get strong. They played together well but often did better with one to one attention from an adult. DH and I would spend weekends together with the dcs rather than having individual child-free time and leaving one adult having to juggle both kids. I don't work and had the eldest in school and the youngedt in preschool from age 2.5, so I got a bit of a break during the weekdays.

I'd say that those ages are a difficult age to parent.

I have a niece and nephew who are ages 5 and 2. When they stay at our house with their parents it can be manic. There's mess, noise, wee, nappies, naked bums, tantrums, hitting, 5am starts, fussy bed times, waking in the night, falls, climbing, tears.

My kids are older and I've been through it all before, but having my niece and nephew over just reminds how difficult those ages are.

So the message is your kids are each at a hard to handle age and will get easier to parent as they mature. If you have a garden with enough room, get a trampoline.

Perfect episode for you.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0hXuEd1QCmP5QKMVVpOZht?si=XxIcqSV1QGGLCoxdVuYB9w

I find her pod very helpful in general but this episode is great. I too have a bolshy older boy and a younger girl, 4 and 2.5.

I would say the climbing and running around is par for the course and you might just need to let that be or get them to channel their energy in the garden if you have one. I'm a sahm so it's pretty constant for me and a lot of the time I just leave them to it unless someone's about to get mortally wounded.

It is chaotic, and acceptance makes it aot easier than resistance!

I think we're lucky, but our 5yo (DS) and just turned 2yo (DD) get on well. I'm aware this could change!

It helps that DS is generally quiet and calm, so DD seems to follow his lead.

He's almost too good at sharing and lets her have whatever she wants, so she may be in for a shock when she starts nursery next month.

They adore each other and she's his little shadow- and just wants to copy him. He's quite happy for this to happen!

They do have mad moments of "races" or balloon chasing which are manic, but then they're happy to chill after.

No gloating over here as it's nothing I've done.

I have ds5 (in a few weeks) and ds2 and they fight constantly. They play nicely sometimes but they fight and argue more often than they play nice. It’s exhausting and I’m at my wits end with it. I’m hoping it will start to get better now eldest is at school and they’re separated a bit more but judging by this week it’s made no difference

I have 2 that age though eldest is autistic. Lots of supervision, outside play is needed otherwise younger one would be getting hurt a lot. Have given up on idea of family life and do a lot of divide and conquer now too helps

I have a ds who is five in December and a two year old DD. I sympathise with the messing about with the younger one - my ds is constantly grabbing her, trying to pick her up and generally irritate her. They do play nicely together too but it doesn’t take much to cause arguments.

But four and two is so much better than three and one!

I have a 5 (nearly 6) year old dd and 3 year old (only just turned 3) and a 10 month old. I have felt like this with the older two since my ds was about 2.5. So much fighting and screaming. It has been relentless. However, seems to have improved a bit recently as my daughter getting close to 6 seems that bit more mature and 3 year old seems a tad bit less in full tantrum mode 24/7. But yeah it's been utter misery for the last while.