Toddler and attachment to bottle

[Srm092]

I have a 22 month old who is being referred for further assessments due to developmental concrns (delayed speech, not answering her name, sensory issues). She is very attached to her bottle. She has one bottle of milk a day (refuses to drink out of anything else), and a bottle of water to nap and another to sleep. She'll wake up frantically at night looking for the empty bottle too, although for the past couple of weeks she's been mostly sleeping through the night which is an incredibly thing for us! I've tried my best to limit the bottles to these 3 in a day, but I have a 7 month old to manage (I'm a single parent) and sometimes if I need to tend to her brother, the easiest way to calm her down is by giving her a bit of water in the bottle. She is able to use a straw but just refuses. I have tried going cold turkey but then she won't drink any water all day, and at night will be inconsolable. I'm not talking about tantrums (I've been able to manage those generally) but hysteria, to the point of vomitting if left. Would be grateful for any advice!

I don't think water in a bottle is going to do her any harm?

I would let them have the bottle. It sounds like it could be a sensory thing with the sucking given that she has been referred for further assessments at such a young age.

It's a bottle with a baby teat. She has an overbite and her speech is delayed.

If she was breastfed no one would argue she was too old; I think it's absolutely fine. She probably wants to do what the baby is doing too. At that age you can start imaginary play giving stuffed animals or dolls their pretend food and drink offering them food on a plate and drinks from a cup - tea parties can be a good way of acting out more grownup ways to eat and drink as well as giving the teddy "his" pretend bottle. It's good for communication to talk about what he is doing when he is playing and he won't be able to suck whilst chatting to his toys or copying you chatting to them

But sucking is really important. Mine weaned onto cups early (she did breastfeed till 22 months as well) and immediately started sucking her thumb for the next five years!

You could also try introducing another transitional comforter object along side the bottle - my daughter had a special "blankie" she slept with and that could eventually replace the bottle

Sorry, she not he

I also posted after reading responses to a thread on AIBU about a 2 year old and his dummy. Advice was overwhelming to enforce either going cold turkey or gradually reducing use.

I’m not sure I agree with everyone saying this is no problem! A baby bottle is bad for her teeth and speech development as you have identified… particularly with milk in. (Not blaming you for being in this situation at all… in fact wouldn’t blame you if you felt you couldn’t change anything right now, but just don’t think it’s true that it’s harmless).

I think in your place, I would make no more milk in a baby bottle a firm rule and offer all milk in a sippy cup or straw bottle instead. Maybe this could even be an enticement to switch - you can have like warm water in a baby bottle or cold milk in a straw bottle/cup.

Also think I’d probably start to be firm about no bottle in the cot. She can have it (for now with water in) and then you put it together somewhere and settle for nap.

Does she have other sleep associations? Like a comfort blanket, soft toy, dummy/tether chew, white noise etc. If not maybe try introducing these, alongside the bottle and first but then aiming to replace it.

Best of luck! You have all my sympathy; it sounds like it’s gonna be a tough one 😅

Is she just having it for a few minutes 3 times a day, or walking round with it in her mouth for a lot of her waking hours?

I'm not sure how much she understands at the moment. She has only recently started engaging in pretend play so I could try utilising this.

Believe me when I tell you the uphill struggle I've had with her sleep, milk intake, and food/weaning! Thankfully we're in a good place at the moment but it's been hard work.

I have tried giving her milk in a sippy cup and a straw cup snd she won't drink it. This wasn't a problem until my 2nd child was born.. if I don't want her, she just takes his bottle! There's also absolutely no way she'll stay in her cot without the bottle.

I am really worried but also trying hard not to get too down about this. Thank you all for the responses!

She use the bottle for extended times to nap and to sleep. Otherwise it's a few minutes to calm down/soothe during the day.

Its physiologically normal for toddlers to be breastfed in the night and during the day. This involves sucking. Your little one will become more and more independent and less and less attached to her bottle just as she would grow out of breastfeeding if she was breastfed. There is no need to go cold turkey as one poster suggests. I think this would be incredibly damaging to your relationship. What about feeding her the bottle on your lap only and to sleep and then taking bottle away so you create the association with you not the bottle itself

Sorry about that gif...don't know how to delete it