Completely overwhelmed with washing and life - 6 week old baby!

[chaoskay]

I'm sure this is normal, and before anyone suggests this is PND, it's not. I'm just struggling a little.

OMG how much washing and housework!

I feel like an absolute failure because my house looks like a bombs hit it. It's starting to smell funny in my front room too.

Both sofas have had cups of milk, or puke all over them and they are foam and very absorbent - so no matter how much I clean them I can't stop them smelling wierd.

My carpet has no pattern and is light blue - it was bad before with damage from first child, but is now even worse. I hate walking on it because it's just mottled with spills and worse (I'm going to borrow my parents steamer and have a go at it, so at least it will be clean, even if it doesn't look it).

I've never been particularly houseproud, but everything seems to be falling in bits around my ears, no matter how hard I try now.

I have piles of washing, like molehills all round the house - our clean washing, our dirty washing, Daisy's (3yr old) washing, bags of stuff for charity shop, stuff for ironing (lol Being hopeful there!) and more, and it's raining so if I wash stuff it won't dry. I'm overusing our airer and our de-humidifier is broken so the house feels increasingly damp.

OH works extremely hard and doesn't have the time to help me either - still I appreciate that I have a partner, god knows how single parents manage!

Toys everywhere, a kitchen that makes me wince when I go in there, and in the midst of all this.....my beautiful six week old baby, and my gorgeous 3 yr old girl, both needing love and attention. How does anyone find time to 'keep it together', make sure their kids feel loved and have time spent with them, and keep their sanity.

I need 48 hours in a day and extra arms to keep up with this. (sighs and remembers baby needs his nappy changing right now, gonna go do that in 2 mins). It is just endless.

I can laugh about it most days, and I know things could be so much worse. I just cannot believe how hard I'm having to work at this! The first months are the hardest aren't they, this will calm down soon won't it...it will won't it? (getting panicky now lol!)

Sol smiled at me the other day for the first time, it is all worth it, but OMG I'm feeling the pressure!

Yes first few weeks are a total nightmare. i dont think i saw my living room floor for the first two months and that was with just one DS.

I would say forget the housework but if its getting you down can you concentrate on just one room on the house to keep tidyish for the timebeing and then just ignore the rest. Obviously washing will have to be done etc. but dont iron for godsake. no one will care.

Are you sleeping when you can because being well rested is more important than having a shiny sink!

It will get better honestly!

Best advice I got when I was pg: buy a bigger laundry basket

would alsoo say accept any help offered (and if none offered ASK)

give up on the illusion of ironing and just put dry stuff away
wear things longer
change beds and towels less often
Have a day out at the laundrette

can dd1 'help'? They don't need you to spend ages playing tea-parties etc to feel loved, just to be around you, even if you're busy...

Outsource your laundry to the laundrette- get a "service wash" a la Dot Cotton I do this regularly and haven't even had dc2 yet (5 weeks to go though)

It's great, drop off your sorted lights/ darks tumble/non tumble-able and pick it all up the next day nice and clean and dry.

And then set a timer for fifteen minutes three times a day, tidy/clean like a maniac until the buzzer goes off it's amazing what gets done in fifteen minutes! (Got that one from the lovely ladies on the Good Housekeeping Thread) Actually though put it on four times a day and use the last one to make sure you sit down and read a magazine or summat. Your batteries must soooo need recharging. Good luck xx

Wear clothes longer before washing them.

Do not wash beds so often (apart from baby's bed).

Put some toys in charity shop out of your way. Put loads of stuff in charity shop, especially things that are under your feet.

I keep baby wipes in the lounge and wipe up puke from sofa and carpet immediately with them. Keep baby wipes upstairs as well so that a minor spillage is immediately dealt with rather than becoming a stain.

anyway I know how you feel, my house is a tip, i have a 2yo and a baby. I think we just need time!

My mum gave me these lavender carpet wipes from M&S. They take away little patches of stain really quickly.

Have you got dishwasher? Try and only use dishwashable plates, cutlery, pans etc, I try never to do any washing up! All in dishwasher.

When I had my DTS 4yo I would do the washing after their 5am feed and then hang it out after their 8 am feed. During their morning nap, I would make dinner for DH and myself, vacuum the house quickly and do a quick tidy up. I would then rest and look after them in the afternoon. I would iron the clothes in the evening whilst DH looked after them. I was ruthless with my schedule because it was the only way I could keep on top of things. Consequently, I was able to rest in the afternoons.

Use bicarbonate soda solution to remove milk stains/smells from your sofa.

Really good advice here.

I agree with breaking jobs down into 15 minute chunks. ie, do 15 mins then stop! Then, when you get a chance, do another 15 minutes. You really can do a lot in 15 mins.

Concentrate at first in getting stuff out of the house. Rubbish is a good place to start. Don't obsess - just wander round the house for 15 mins, filling a bag with rubbish then bin it. Then on another day, recycling - old toys, clothes, whatever. Don't be perfectionist and wait til you have a car load. Spend 15 minutes filling a carrier bag, then take it to the charity shop when you take the kids for a walk later that day.

Once you're not tripping over junk, you can tackle the rest a little more easily.

Laundry - ditto what has been said about service washes, just to get on top of it. Some companies collect and return you know - where are you? Once its no longer a mountain, buy a really BIG laundry bin - or two - to hide it all in. Then, rather than having laundry everywhere in its various states, focus on getting a load washed, dried and put away every day. If you have time for more than one then great, but if you don't then one load washed, dried and put away (the last stage is the crucial one) will keep you afloat. Do not iron!

Once you don't have junk and laundry everywhere your house will seem much tidier and you can tackle the rest much more easily.. But it will take you a while to get there, and thats okay..

Because the most important thing I would say is, lower your expectations as to how much you can realistically do in a day with a toddler and a baby. I'd say if you can get one solid thing done every day, that is a good day.

ie - mon, fill a bin bag with rubbish and chuck it
tues - take some old stuff to charity shop
weds - organise a service wash and dry
thurs - put the washing away
..etc

lastly, I promise it does get better!

agree with 15 minute rule

work out what needs washing and what doesn't

don't try to do it all at once - two loads a day, max

where do you put your airer? is it in a room where you can open the windows?

Message withdrawn

I have a 9 week old and I too am finding it hard - without the added distraction of a toddler! I love the 15 min timer and the 1 thing per day rules, and I'm going to try those!

Here are my tips (same as some you've already heard but wanted to reinforce them!)

1: no ironing!!! Except maybe shirts if your DH needs to look smart for work.
2: do you have a bit of money you can put towards a regular cleaner or even just a one-off job? we're lucky enough to be able to afford a cleaner once a week who concentrates on the kitchen, bathroom and toilet and it is a lifesaver as i know that they are only manky for a max of a week. is there any way you could find the money to afford a cleaner even just for a month or two while you get more into a routine? alternatively could you afford the money for a one-off big clean of things like your carpet and sofas or a deep clean of your kitchen and bathroom? i know money is tight with a new baby but now we have a cleaner i would forgo lots of other things before this as it is so important for me.
3: go to your local pound shop and buy lots of storage crates - those fold down ones are brilliant for putting clean laundry neatly in the right room until it can be put away and the crates can be stored easily afterwards. let your daughter pick some colourful storage crates for her toys and have one in each room where she is likely to have toys so they can be quickly chucked in the crate as part of a 15 min blitz (or try getting her to tidy them away)

good luck!

And please remember that you are adjusting to a huge, huge change. Ds2 is 4mo and things are getting much easier now, not least because I have revised my priorities! I was making myself miserable (and exhausted) and the place wasn't even clean! My best days now are when I pay more attention to them and care less about the house. Plus, it's the summer, so we can always go out!!

Frankly I would find laundry impossible without a tumble-dryer. I do at least 1 load every other day... synmpathies - almost 9 months on and my house is still a tip. I'm actually thinking of getting a cleaner until (if?!) DS ever decides that napping might not be the work of the Devil after all. Would that be an option for you, short-term?

Do not iron things!

I have a 20mo and a 7wk old so really sympathise!

Another vote for bicarbonate of soda on milk spills to stop it smelling. I also do one thing a day plus one load of washing (eg bathroom one day, dusting one day - quickly rather than thoroughly but nobody looks too hard!). Each morning I put the previous day's dry washing away and put a fresh load on. I never iron - DH irons a week's worth of shirts each Sunday night after the children have gone to bed. Once they're in bed every evening, all toys are chucked in big boxes and shoved under the coffee table - doesn't look very nice but at least they're out the way and it only takes two mins to clear them up!

I have upstairs toys and downstairs toys for my DD so if I'm upstairs she can play up there and I can keep an eye on her. I put my 7 wk old in a bouncy chair and take him around wherever I am.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if your house is dusty and the bathroom needs a clean. You won't remember it in years to come but you will remember the good times you had with your little ones. Well, that's what I'm telling myself.

I know the feeling well.. this weather is terrible for drying clothes.
I would recommend taking the stuff to charity shop first (look at it as not a one-off but ongoing process), you will better for taking some positive action against the clutter.

The other thing I have is tidy 'baskets' upstairs and downstairs. Anything that is the wrong room gets put in baskets and when I can, I put things back in their right home.

Oh, the other thing I've done (which is harder with small baby as so much stuff in the early days) is try and have one room in the house where toys don't feature, this will end up being the tidiest room and when it gets too much, retreat and shut the door!

I have had a cleaner for 2 yrs in past but have just stopped her coming. When they were just babies it was great but now they are toddlersI found that my house stayed clean for about 2hours and I was wasting my money. Also the stress of getting the house tidy so she could clean wasn't worth it.

good luck. It will get better. DD1 is 3 and dd2 is 18 months and I reckon i'm just about there to be able to sort out the shed!

I have a 7 week old.. I do one thing per day.. say one room .. I give it an hour but split up over the day..
I make sure I have some time to read per day.. so I think 20 mins of this then I can..
be kind to yourself you have just had a baby.. I dont know as this is the first baby I have had but they say it gets easier..
Ask a friend for help, I keep getting comments "I wish I knew what i could do to help" well I know here is some ironing and when passing the charity shop drop this will YOu!..