Level 1 autism. What age was the hardest?

[Happyface82]

My son is 12. He is starting secondary school tomorrow and I'm worried sick. It feels like his difference is far more obvious now than before. So my question is. For those with kids on the spectrum (high functioning) what age was the most difficult? At what age did you struggle more?

Teen years have been a struggle at times and settling in to secondary was a bit difficult and took some time. Not sure what your son is like but DD keeps very quiet and can be struggling secretly so I needed to badger her and ask openly about self harming which she was doing for a while. But the more interesting learning and variety of people has been great and currently we're in a good settled patch at nearly 15. As you'll know nothing stays the same but it hasn't been as bad as I expected so far <touches all the wood>. 8/9/10/11 was much much worse for us as she had some really shit experiences at school, puberty was early and brutal, and she was only diagnosed at 12 (after the usual years long wait).

Try not to worry until you have to but keep a close eye. Good luck!! Does he have any friends going with him?

Hate to say it but the late teens were the hardest. DD1 (ASD and ADD, medicated) managed through secondary and found a small group of friends ..all of whom are a bit quirky, but then she left for University, and fell apart. Her familiar routines were gone, and she even struggled to sleep alone as she'd always shared with her sister. She was desperately homesick and became even more anxious and her life long ARFID became starvation. It was awful. I thought she would have to withdraw from uni (medicine so a high stakes course) and when she finished the first year we were literally afraid she would die in the night as she was extremely underweight ( 5 stone 9 and she's 5 ft 9 tall)
BUT she was also determined and with help (mostly us) we battled through and she went back, a bit healthier, and on anti anxiety meds and in the second year she found her tribe... and aced the rest of medical school, and has been a GP for a while now!
But she still needs more support to function in daily life than her siblings .. her anxiety levels are always high and she is very prone to catastrophising.
However she lives independently, is a very caring doctor and is healthy.

By contrast her younger brother who is much more classically autistic (went to special school) sailed through school, with minor blips, was supported into work by mencap and has been working full time in a supermarket since he was 19... settled and happy!

Years 7-9 dd found very difficult socially (plus she couldn't cope with the behaviour of other students 'affecting her learning '). Just started year 12 and I feel we're struggling again the difference between her and her peers is widening and she is struggling with new routines, less structure.
Ds found y6-7 hardest (apprehension of all the changes to come) then struggled though secondary low level with ups and downs particularly around year 9. College was the making of him when he realised he didn't need to conform and go to uni/travel like his peers. Instead he got a job and is working his way up. He has had a few wobbles when he didn't feel his life was relatable to his friends but seems to have realised that he can be his own person and true friends will accept him for whom he is. For what its worth his two friends from school have both also taken alternative routes to employment.