age gap

[tab1]

My dd is 10 months and I would like another baby but am unsure what is the best/easiest age gap? I would like them close enough to play together but don't want to ruin dd's baby time by being pregnant and don't know how i'd cope with a toddler and a newborn. Any experiences?

Nope but I'm due to find out in 6 weeks

Hi Tab,

Guess there is no right or wrong answer....

There is a 21 month gap between my 2 ds. I have to say being pregnant, especially in the later stages,and taking care of a toddler who wanted to be picked up at lot, incredibly difficult. Same goes for the first few months with the both of them - I guess made more difficult as my older ds was unable to express himself and really understand what was going on.

But then again, I giessyou can have problems with the older child not accepting the new arrival at any age....

It's ok now though and it'slovely seeing the two og them together.

Good luck

Every age gap has its pros and cons. I know friends with completely different age gaps from 20 months to 13 years, and a few around 5-6 years. All complain about some aspects, but all talk up the good aspects.

Have to say though that the ne ith the very small age gap (like my mum had too 16 months between me and brother) - did say how hard it was in the early days dealing with a demanding toddler and an even more demanind newborn. But I am sure as the baby gets older it will make things easier and they can play togther more.

I have 24 months between mine, VERY hard work but now it is getting much better as the youngest is over 2.
They are great pals and play together all the time.

I wish I had 24 months I have 14 months between them -

Agree, no one right answer. So much depends on the circumstances - will you have an easy or difficult pg? will labour be straightforward or will you end up in hospital for days, or with a c/s wound to cope with on top of a toddler? will the baby be demanding or will it slot in? will the existing child be jealous or not turn a hair?

We have nearly 21m between our 2 dses. I read lots of threads on MN saying the first months were tough, but it got far easier etc. In fact I found the first 6m a breeze, and that it got harder the second 6m; now it's just normal. We do get the odd "blimey, there's not much between them is there" old gimmer comment .

The main thing that occupies me, now, though is - we're not sure about a dc3, but if we do go for one, I don't want to have 2 very close together then a huge gap before a third; but right now I really do not feel ready for another child. So that's worth considering when looking at age gaps, if you thought you might in the end have 3.

I have 3 yrs between dd1 and dd2. It's been ideal for us.

Dd1 was old enough to understand what was going on and yet the gap was still small enough that they play beautifully together (after dd turned 18mo or so).

Well, most of the time ...

24 months between mine. Youngest only 5 weeks old. Pretty hard work so far.

DS is 3years 3ths, DD1 is 20mths DD2 is nearly 9mths....coping well now but being heavily pregnant & looking after a young child was much more difficult than I thought it would be...all growing up together & getting on so well (so far) which I'm glad about.

think 2 dc's would def be enough !! I don't think I want to start ttc till dd is 15/18 months but then if it takes a while tc the gap could be too big. Too many decisions.

I ahve ds 8, dd 3 and dc3 due in december. I loved the age gap between the first 2, as ds was 4 when she was born, and was at school and I could enjoy being with the baby, and he had all of my time before going to school. Saying that though, they don;t always get on too great, and don't have a massive amount in common, but i'm not sure if that's just a girl boy thing. Like the others say, I think there are pro's and con's to both

Mine are 21 months apart...I wouldn't change it...now! The first year was really tough for me, but am living away from family, and had pnd. I do hope to have two more DC - my younger one is now 2, so there will be 3 years at least between number 2 and number 3, which I think ill be loads easier, largly because my older two are great mates and entertain one another.

I have friends who had a larger gap between numbers one and two (3 years or more), and their older children seem to have found the transition harder that my DD did, but they seem to have found things like getting out and about with a buggy, dealing with nappies etc easier with the bigger age gap.

In summary, I am really pleased that the first two are close becaue DD didn't get too used ti being an 'only' before DS cam along, but I don't think I will repeat that gap with future dc.

I have 19 months between mine - DD is now coming up to 21 months and DS is 7 weeks. It's hard work but so far it's been easier than it was being heavily pregnant and looking after DD. I'm aware it's early days though and could all change!

Plus points of a small age gap seem to be that DD is still young enough to be having a good nap at lunchtime so most days they both sleep for a couple of hours at the same time and I have a lunch break. Also, DD hasn't really been jealous - and I'm guessing soon she won't remember a time without him.

The worst thing so far has been going to the supermarket with both. Awful. I'd recommend shopping online!

I have 7yr old, a 3yr old and a 7week old, I think the age difference is great but we are thinking the age gap between 3&4 will be more like 18months which I reckon will be a NIGHTMARE!

mine are 5, 3 & 6 weeks.

the age gap between 2 & 3 has been the easiest.

I am the same as VS - hoping to be 18months or so between numbers 3 & 4.

3 and 4, omg! thanks for all answering, it's good to get opinions.

I would definitely say that you need the older one able to walk to minimise the lifting at the end of the pregnancy if nothing else. DD still wants to be picked up BUT I am able to limit it to only when absolutely necessary and she's learnt to hold my hand instead