Struggling so much

[Mumbrain2]

I have recently had my 2nd baby boy (he's a week old) and with struggling to get a house together before baby was born me and my partner don't live together atm. I'm really struggling and getting no sleep because in the 4 hours the baby's asleep my other son wakes up then when he's fell back asleep the baby wakes up. I'm so stressed and snappy and feeling like I might have abit of PND. It's a great help the nights my partner does stay over (he has to mind his other kids from a pervious relationship) and because we don't live near each other he has to stay up by his to get his kids to school on time. We have finally managed to find a house but it would require me and my 2 boys (1 of them is his, the other doesnt see his dad) to move up to by his ways but my mum is making me feel guilty about moving because I'd have to move my son to a different school she's calling me selfish for doing it and I'm not thinking of my son. Now I'm in 2 minds. Do I stay here and keep my son in his school and try to cope on my own or move in with my partner and move my son to another school? I honestly don't know what to do.

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP.

What is the situation here, how long have you and your partner been together? Do you rent or own your property, is it council/HA with lifetime for example? What about his property, rent or own? How far actually is the move? How many children would be staying in this house, and what are finances like?

OP, how old is your other son? If he’s still well young, then there shouldn’t be any problem about moving school. What would the situation be if you were to move in with your DP? You need to do what’s best for you and your family - your mum will come round!

My son is 4. He's just started reception, he's struggling to settle into it right now so I want to move before he starts year 1, 2. My son gets along with his other kids so the situation would be alot better as he'd have them to play with when they come round and also he'd have a father figure/step dad in his life full time if we moved. I think it'd be alot better than what's happening now.

Thank you.
We haven't been together long, 2 years but we're very much in love and all our kids get along nicely. I rent from the council and so does he. His 2 kids would stay about 2/3 times a week and my 2 would be living there full time with us. We need to work out the financial side of things but we both think it's definitely do-able.

I wouldn’t give up the security of your council house unless you absolutely had to OP.

The house he lives in is his mums (also a council house) and we was going to do a exchange of the houses so that house will then be in my name.

This is difficult because at 2 years length of relationship, you don’t actually know your partner at all I’m afraid. It’s too soon to be in anything other than the honeymoon period. Of course you’re in love, everyone is at the start.

i think your choice is between how much help would you get off your partner - or actually would that be worse as you will also be looking after 4 children half the time - vs how much help you get off your mum. Your mum is a known quantity, your partner isn’t at all known, only what you want it to be.

it’s quite difficult to make these fairly big changes on unknowns.