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Original poster

Social services and potentially false allegations

3 replies

Leabee1234 · 09/09/2025 08:32

My childs father who i am not in a relationship with is having several allegations made against him by his older child's mother for child abuse. Me and my childs dad have a 2 year old son and have never seen eye to eye but have always been civil for our child and our child adores him. For the last year his older childs mother has made constant allegations of child abuse and I have had to do supervised contact for a year because of it. He has been on bail repeatedly for them to investigate and he was due to end bail this month. I had a social worker visit me and my son the end of last year and they knew he was happy and safe so NFA'd it. Now I have had a call saying something sensitive had been reported again and he needs to be checked on. I have stuck to what they've said and allowed supervised contact but I truly believe this woman is lying. She has lied many times in the past and has a record of her vindictive controlling behaviour however she keeps reporting and even though he hasnt been able to see his older child throughout this for a year she has now reported something new so this is going to continue. She has no evidence of any claims she is making but I truly believe she may be making her older child say things and this is why a year later something new has happened. My sons dad has always been a part of his life and he has always been very good with him, ive never seen any cause of concern and I see how much my son loves him.
However the situation with his siblings mother is never ending and it's really now affecting me mentally that social services are involved again and that this will continue. I dont know whether to stop supervised contact until this is all over which i dont know how it will end as she doesn't stop. She also harassed me and was awful to me when I was pregnant.

I feel so conflicted as I just want to be out of this situation and stop contact completely but my son loves him and I really truly feel there is an injustice here because I truly believe her claims are false and its sickening. She wants to destroy this man's life and its hard to watch knowing its my childs father.
If these claims were false would they be able to prove this ? I have cried allvmorning as I thought it was almost over and now its happening all over again. I just feel so sorry for my child

OP posts:
Boymummy2015 · 09/09/2025 09:13

Leabee1234 · 09/09/2025 08:32

My childs father who i am not in a relationship with is having several allegations made against him by his older child's mother for child abuse. Me and my childs dad have a 2 year old son and have never seen eye to eye but have always been civil for our child and our child adores him. For the last year his older childs mother has made constant allegations of child abuse and I have had to do supervised contact for a year because of it. He has been on bail repeatedly for them to investigate and he was due to end bail this month. I had a social worker visit me and my son the end of last year and they knew he was happy and safe so NFA'd it. Now I have had a call saying something sensitive had been reported again and he needs to be checked on. I have stuck to what they've said and allowed supervised contact but I truly believe this woman is lying. She has lied many times in the past and has a record of her vindictive controlling behaviour however she keeps reporting and even though he hasnt been able to see his older child throughout this for a year she has now reported something new so this is going to continue. She has no evidence of any claims she is making but I truly believe she may be making her older child say things and this is why a year later something new has happened. My sons dad has always been a part of his life and he has always been very good with him, ive never seen any cause of concern and I see how much my son loves him.
However the situation with his siblings mother is never ending and it's really now affecting me mentally that social services are involved again and that this will continue. I dont know whether to stop supervised contact until this is all over which i dont know how it will end as she doesn't stop. She also harassed me and was awful to me when I was pregnant.

I feel so conflicted as I just want to be out of this situation and stop contact completely but my son loves him and I really truly feel there is an injustice here because I truly believe her claims are false and its sickening. She wants to destroy this man's life and its hard to watch knowing its my childs father.
If these claims were false would they be able to prove this ? I have cried allvmorning as I thought it was almost over and now its happening all over again. I just feel so sorry for my child

Hi

I feel for you here & can relate so much. I /we have been through very similar with my DH ex and mum of his DD who's nearly 15 now and lives with us full time having no contact with her mum.

We went to hell and back for 12 years and unfortunately had SS involved on several occasions and had mum making accusations against my DH & most recently me! It's horrific going through it but SS are not stupid and will see through the mums lies (if that is the case) I know in the short term this isn't helpful for you but try to remember that SS are not investigating you or questioning your capabilities as a mum they have to look into all accusations made even if they believe them to be false as they have a duty of care.

Whilst I understand 100% how hard this is for you, you have said you don't believe the claims being made and how much your son loves his dad etc so in my opinion stopping contact would not be in your sons best interests. It's supervised contact so you know your DS is safe.

If the ex is lying the she is clearly out to hurt him and doesn't care who gets hurt in the process some people are just so bitter that they can't see sense even if that means hurting innocent children and their own in the process. If this is the case she will end up living to regret it at somepoint as her child will question and will get to an age where they will make up their own minds, this is now where we're at, unfortunately the damage is done and my SD's relationship with her mum is beyond repair, yes she is damaged to a degree but she has grown into a lovely , level headed, bright young girl, mature beyond her years but she had to be having a narcissistic poisonous mother for 13 years of her life and is no happy, settled & secure and knows how much she is loved by us.

I wish you all the best and hope this comes to an end for all involved soon.

Sprogonthetyne · 09/09/2025 09:41

Difficult situation for you but when child abuse is involved I'm of the opinion that it's always better to investigate a claim that could be false then to miss a claim that could be true. If they have been investigating for over a year and are taking the new claim seriously, then there must be something to make them think it's plausible.

It's not uncommon for behaviour towards children to change as they get older (eg. Old enough to answer back), and as contact with your DS has been supervised for most of his life anyway, I really wouldn't take that as an indication of how he has behaved towards the older child when behind closed doors.

Obviously if it's false, then it's been a massive and unnecessary inconvenience for you and DS, but if it is true, then the other child's mum may have saved your child from suffering the same fate as hers.

Original poster
Leabee1234 · 09/09/2025 11:59

Boymummy2015 · 09/09/2025 09:13

Hi

I feel for you here & can relate so much. I /we have been through very similar with my DH ex and mum of his DD who's nearly 15 now and lives with us full time having no contact with her mum.

We went to hell and back for 12 years and unfortunately had SS involved on several occasions and had mum making accusations against my DH & most recently me! It's horrific going through it but SS are not stupid and will see through the mums lies (if that is the case) I know in the short term this isn't helpful for you but try to remember that SS are not investigating you or questioning your capabilities as a mum they have to look into all accusations made even if they believe them to be false as they have a duty of care.

Whilst I understand 100% how hard this is for you, you have said you don't believe the claims being made and how much your son loves his dad etc so in my opinion stopping contact would not be in your sons best interests. It's supervised contact so you know your DS is safe.

If the ex is lying the she is clearly out to hurt him and doesn't care who gets hurt in the process some people are just so bitter that they can't see sense even if that means hurting innocent children and their own in the process. If this is the case she will end up living to regret it at somepoint as her child will question and will get to an age where they will make up their own minds, this is now where we're at, unfortunately the damage is done and my SD's relationship with her mum is beyond repair, yes she is damaged to a degree but she has grown into a lovely , level headed, bright young girl, mature beyond her years but she had to be having a narcissistic poisonous mother for 13 years of her life and is no happy, settled & secure and knows how much she is loved by us.

I wish you all the best and hope this comes to an end for all involved soon.

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Thank you. Its such a difficult situation and it just seems to be never ending. The children are who it is hurting the most and its awful that its affecting my child also.

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