13 month old - not sure his behaviour is typical. Please help.

[Hoping4amiracle]

Hello,

i had my baby 16 months ago but he was really premature so only 13 month corrected (ie. Developmentally he is 13 months old). I’m a first time mum and don’t have a lot of friends with kids so feel a little lost as to who to ask if his behaviour is normal for his age. For context, from day one we have been told that because of his prematurity and low birth weight he is at an increased risk for autism.

He makes good eye contact, has a few words, is pretty close to walking and is usually a pretty happy/smiley wee boy. However he screams the place down when I try to wash his face , brush his teeth, try to put him in the high chair when he doesn’t want to be … basically anything he doesn’t want to do he screams. Also, when I use a firm voice with him (not a loud or shouting voice but firm) he cries and cries.

Is it normal for a baby to scream as much as that at this stage? Xx

Honestly, your gorgeous boy has the neurology he has- he is too young, and had too much of a traumatic start, to consider a diagnosis. He is yours, he is precious, and he will have his own unique journey with things he is great at, and things that are trickier. As hard as it is not to worry, try to treasure the precious time you have with him.
That said, investigating and learning about sensory processing may help- wether it is autism, or differences relating to how his nervous system developed and the experiences from when he was tiny, there’s things that may help. For example, if he’s sensitive to tooth brushing, perhaps a flavourless toothpaste, or silicone bristly brush would help. Joining some groups to learn about how sensory systems can work might help.

Sounds pretty standard.

Thanks both.

i hadn’t really considered some kind of sensory issue but I’ve been reading. Thing is he is fine in crowds or at noisy venues so I don’t think it’s sound. I will check with the health visitor if there is anything I can do re. Teeth brushing as you say it might be the sensation of the toothbrush.

I do love him like mad and he is who he is, I get that. But if there is an issue I don’t want to not acknowledge it and not get him help he needs x

Sounds perfectly normal to me. What you've got is a baby that knows it's own mind. Are you particularly stubborn? Or your DH? You may be seeing that quality come home to roost!

Sounds pretty normal to me. He’s protesting things he doesn’t like the only way he knows how.

Sounds pretty normal to me. Mine also scream at having to brush their teeth, wash their face, sit in a high chair (when they don’t want to) etc. It’ll get better in a couple of years 😅

Seriously, you can't expect a 1 year old to like toothbrushing, there's no sensory issue to investigate. Lots of people have to pin down toddlers or hold their nose to brush their teeth.

For us a silicone finger brush works well, FYI. For some reason he likes it.

I've got a 16 month old and face washing and tooth brushing are definite flash points in our house. Sounds normal to me...

My son is 13 month and is the same. He throws his head back and screams lol tantrums!

This sounds pretty typical for a baby/ toddler!

Are you under a neonatal consultant at all?

Appreciate it may be different between different hospitals but when my oldest was born (also born very prematurely at 26+6 so similar to your little one) he was under a neonatal consultant and had regular check ins (every few months) along with appointments with occupational therapists and speech and language therapists up until he was 2. The aim of the appointments was to check in on his development, if anything was flagged, they could start any treatments , referrals etc early - I found they were very good at providing reassurance about anything I was worried about.

It can be really hard not to worry about their development etc especially when they've been through so much. I was constantly worrying about my son's development but he is 4 now, just starting school with no concerns.

What you've described sounds very typical of a baby/ toddler that age!