School drop offs and working

[Loverofcadburys]

Hi mums.
i think im feeling overwhelmed since it’s back to school! My daughter has just started reception and my son is in a private nursery (aged 1).
I find it so challenging in a morning, getting 2 children plus myself dressed and where we need to be all on time so that by time I get to work I am exhausted but also I’m struggling to concentrate.

I do 4 days a week currently and I’m wondering if I should drop a day. How do others manage this particularly when you do the drop offs and pick ups and then fit work in etc

Having a child in school definitely doesn’t make it easier to work. Whenever people say, oh, I’m waiting til Johnny starts school then it will be so much easier to go back to work, with the short days and long school holidays! 😂

It’s not easy! What Dh and I found works is either we each take one (if in different directions) or we stagger drop offs. So we paid for youngest to start nursery 30 minutes earlier and stay 30 minutes later to provide a buffer for travel. Or we staggered our working day, one of us went to work early and other did drop offs, then the one at work left at 3pm to do school run and the one who did mornings stayed later at work.

If you don’t have a partner around, then simplify mornings as much as possible. Breakfast they can eat in the car or youngest can eat at nursery. Leave 10 minutes earlier than you think you need to, to allow for everything to go pear shaped. Plonk them in front of the tv if it means you can get everyone dressed and fed faster.

I hear you and it sucks.

I'm honestly not much use at work for the first half an hour as I'm so frazzled from the school run.

People always recommend getting lunches packed and clothes laid out the night before but this doesn't work for me as I'm much too tired after a day at work!

What does help is to get up about half an hour before I plan to wake the kids, so that I can at least be showered and dressed before the madness descends.

Shower at night
Protein shake for breakfast
Kids eat at nursery
Book breakfast club
Lay clothes out night before
Keep bags packed and by the door
Kids have school lunches

I used to work a shorter day in the office and then pick up the extra when they were in bed /when my son was napping or doing activities on my day off

Plonk them in front of the tv if it means you can get everyone dressed and fed faster

This^^ But make them get dressed first. You can loudly announce that "If everyone gets dressed quickly there might be a bit of TV time" and make it an incentive.

Do you have a husband/partner? Can he help? I was a single mum so juggled on my own (and they watched TV while they showered) but if you do have a husband /partner they need to help with mornings

@mindutopia honestly I never understand why people say that! It’s definitely not any easier at all!
My partner would love to be able to help out but he is an almost qualified electrician so with his job there’s no flexibility at all, leaves super early and back around 5pm ish.

He feels very guilty that he can’t do as much to help and says he’d like a career change that’s a bit more flexible but I’m trying to prove there’s other ways I can do this!

I think it’ll get easier the older my son gets as I have to keep an eye on him at all times 🫣

@unlimiteddilutingjuice my 4 year old is super easy I think it’s because of the age of my son with him being 16 months it’s a little harder! I end up going into my daughters bedroom with them both as this seems to be the safest room in the house while I try to get me ready!

I used to get up and ready, then easy child (getvthrm eating breakfast) then concentrate on harder child.

Is breakfast club/ breakfast at nursery an option? I found not having to feed them made the morning much easier. It should also allow you to start work earlier. My work don't allow me to care for primary age or younger children while working so I didn't have a choice and they do after school club too on days I work. That might be an option for you, it may even finish late enough for your partner to do pick up.

I used to get myself ready first but once I got DC up we did everything in the kitchen.

So kids up, downstairs in pyjamas, quick breakfast, then dressed (the one thing I always did in the evenings was to put clothes out over the kitchen radiator), teeth done (second set of toothbrushes/paste kept on kitchen windowsill).

I could have coffee/check bags/do lunch while they were having breakfast.

Once everyone was ready they might sit at the table and watch some tv but keeping everyone in one place worked for us - if DC started disappearing back to the bedroom it was game over!

It does get easier (eventually).

The people that told me the whole oh it gets easier when they start school I want to shake. No it doesn't.
I've only been able to work self employed. I can only work 9.30 till 2.30.

Childcare/schools have really changed since covid too. So many places have shut or no longer offer breakfast club or after school club.

It’s a struggle!

You need a short commute or a boss who is flexible. My dc school is supposed to let them in at 8.45 which is no time to get anywhere; breakfast club is expensive but often the only option. Or sharing school run with a friend (make friends!)

Then it’s all about being organised: do everything you can night before:shoes and bags by door; kids’ water bottle filled and in fridge; even kettle with enough water in and mug with teabag sitting ready! Have your own clothes laid out as well as the kids.
Train dc to get dressed themselves the moment they wake up; my ds was up and dressed at 6.59am today without being told.

Keep breakfast simple and teach dc to serve themselves cereal and milk (you can decant milk into a small jug so they aren’t stuck handling a big 4-pint container).

Routine is everything - same thing every day and give kids count downs or “race them” to get ready. They love beating you at getting ready first!

Having a second child is often the trigger for mums going part time or stopping working outside the home altogether. It is a lot. Getting up before the kids seems the answer for most if my friends.

@mondaytosunday I can honestly understand how. With my first I worked 3 days a week and then after my second I found a new job however it was 4 days a week. I’ll be honest I have a great manager and the company are very supportive of flexible working, however it’s more the mental and physical demand that gets to me. How can I do all the children’s stuff then be a good employee too? I do have a day of working from home so that helps me to focus a lot better and not have to worry about socialising at work… but it is a lot!

@mondaytosunday also my 1 year old is still in my bed. we already get up between 6-6:30am so I run the risk of waking him up if I get up even earlier plus I don’t think I’d cope with a 5am start!

I worked 2 days once no 2 came along

@sundayfundayclub did you! I’d love to but it would be huge pay cut.. our mortgage has just gone up £300+ a month!

fortunately that was a few years ago. Mine are both in upper primary now & I do 4 short days. The juggle is still a thing & that's with a hands on dad. They have lots of evening activities.

People always recommend getting lunches packed and clothes laid out the night before but this doesn't work for me as I'm much too tired after a day at work!

Makes me remember something I saw on Facebook (I think, could have been elsewhere) that said something like:

Thanks for the suggestion of preparing for the school day the night before. I forgot to mention that the kids also live here then.

@McSpoot it is very true… that’s not even half of the problem 😅

It's hard to do it all by yourself AND be presentable and get to work on time.
You have to minimise what you need to do to be ready yourself, so shower/hairwash & dry if necessary the night before, minimal makeup ( get brows and eyelashes dyed so you look OK without makeup at all) and at least decide what you are going to wear before you get out of bed. I never managed to get them out the night before. Once you are dressed, put something over your top ( apron, loose tshirt) to avoid getting it covered with the baby's breakfast/dribble.
MiL's tip was to keep a comb and lipstick by the front door under a mirror so you can do last minute check. If you drive, keep extra makeup/suncream/wipes/glasses etc in the car.
Get all bags ready the night before.
Our childminder had, at one time, 4 under 4 herself, and she used to keep all the DC clothes in drawers in the kitchen, easier to put away and dress them after breakfast.

We do breakfast club as then no one has to eat at home. Limits what has to be done.
Me and both kids are up and dressed and out the door within 30mins of waking up, eldest eats breakfast at school, youngest eats at nursery and I then eat at my desk.

Oh its so tough isn't it?

I have 4DC (eldest is 8, youngest is coming up for 2) and everyone has to be ready for 7.30 on my 3 working days. I'm so glad I don't have to do pick up for the younger ones on those days.

It will get easier. Pick a system that works for you and stick with it - your kids will get trained to it and it'll get smoother over time. I do everything ready the night before and wake them in age order - eldest gets bathroom first and then straight down tk breakfast (she can serve herself, cereal and bowls are out the night before, I get out the milk and press the button on the toaster just before I wake her. Then I go and wake the boys for a wee and they go down so eldest can keep an eye on them while they have breakfast and I wake/feed the toddler. Everyone summoned upstairs so eldest can dress herself and I take the toddler into the boys room so I can throw clothes at them in the right order while I do the toddler. I throw some clothes on myself at super speed. Everyone into the bathroom for teeth/face. Youngest 3 allowed 10 minutes of playtime while I do eldest hair and my own. Bags, shoes and coats are all laid out on the sofa and they know (even the toddler, she makes me laugh) to go to their pile and get themselves sorted to their best of their ability. I do my make up at traffic lights. All asleep to all ready in 50 minutes.

It takes practice. You need a routine that works for you and you follow exactly every time.

Honestly the way to go is to prep everything you can beforehand - I aimed as doing as much as possible while they were still awake but if not possible, straight after they go to bed, 10-15min to prepare the outfits for the next day, including yours & bags etc ready to go. And then you can relax.
I would also consider what a PP suggested and try to have toothbrushes/toothpaste in the kitchen and they can eat breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed all in one place - this means no herding them around the house / less distractions.