experience of a single parent holiday with four year old

[alice123]

Last year I went on holiday on my own my then four year old son. We went with a company for single parents to Tunisia. The holiday wasn't easy partly because we didn't arrive till 2am and in retrospect he was too young for that. He also didn't like the food and has always been quite fussy.

All in all he loved the holiday though and it was a good break for us.

What I found really hard though was that despite everyone being a single parent, my son was amonst the youngest there and he found the staying up late (we all ate together about 8pm each evening) really difficult as he is used to going to bed early. It was also all new to him. He is normally a really well behaved child, perfect for his age although he is lively he is really good most of the time. On the holiday though because of things he wasn't used to such as having to sit in a restaurant at 8pm and not run around he did play up and was on occasion quite a handful. For example at mealtimes, the children were supposed to sit at separate tables to the adults. At four he found this quite difficult.

Because of this other people on the holiday made comments. One said I think well meaning 'have you ever seen supernanny?'. The only other woman with a four year old quickly paired off with a man and despite our children really hitting it off and her initially being really friendly, completely distanced herself from us and wouldn't let her son play with mine. I know she saw him as unruly and me not disciplining him but I was really hurt for my son.

I felt that although my son was not on good behaviour on the holiday that it was hard for him. The woman who had a four year old put her son to bed for 2 hours each day alone in her hotel room while she went to sunbathe so that she could then keep him up till midnight. Of course I wouldn't have done that but then had the aftermath of a tired child in the evening and we had to leave at 9pm in the evenings.

Anyway, this year I want to take my son away again as he would love it and is a bit older. I may go with the same company and would go somewhere less far. I am more aware of his limitations as well but am still really hurt by the insinuations that I had an impossible child from last year's holiday.

I've just got back from a 7 day holiday in Greece with my 2 girls. dd1 is 7 and dd2 4yrs old. We went self-catering on a very small complex and had a wonderful time. The girls met other kids around the pool or beach and had playmates every day.

We often had a siesta in the afternoon and just did exactly what suited us. We met lots of lovely people who were very chatty (and often very nosey) and for me that was enough. I have lots of people around me at home so it was kind of nice to focus on my girls entirely. I was more tired than the girls by the end of each day and fell asleep before them most evenings! My lifesaver was our portable DVD player so they chilled out at night to one of their favourite films, whilst I read or slept!
The type of holiday you describe is my idea of hell! For me, having a holiday means getting away from the constraints of routine and being forced together with a group is always going to throw up different issues. Judgemental comments from people who know nothing about you or your son are rude and not something you should have to put up with - nevermind the intentions of the person saying them.

We struggled with food a bit but I decided to chill out and just get fruit into them during the day. They mainly ate ice-creams, chips and cookies which is far from ideal but it took away the stress and we are all detoxing now!

Do you really need to go as part of a single-parent group?

I've only been to Butlins so far on my own - it's all I can afford and is catered more for the kids than adults so goes well each time.

We're off tomorrow for a week as it happens; will let you know if any disasters occur!