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Am I being too harsh on myself? Pregnant with a toddler

2 replies

Mamaincognito · 03/09/2025 14:24

I feel like I’m losing my patience too quickly. My toddler has just hit the ‘crying over everything and won’t stop for love nor money’ phase. She’s 18 months and has honestly been a dream up until the last two weeks, where she’s hit the terrible twos.

I know that she’s not misbehaving and it’s emotional disregulation, so in affirming how she feels to try and give her the words she needs, I’m offering physical support with hugs and stuff, I’m holding boundaries that need to be held (tooth brushing, nappy changes,, don’t touch hot things) and giving her small chances frequently to have autonomy (do you want x or y), and despite doing all the things I think I’m meant to do in a kind way, sometimes they just don’t work. This week she screamed 10pm-1am because she wanted a book… that I was already reading to her. We ended up having a midnight bath and finally got her off around 1. But since then I’ve been on and off really impatient. I haven’t yelled or shouted shouted, but in the night after she’s been crying for a while I’ve said shut up, please just stop, stop crying in a disregulated way. Today I’ve been so frustrated that there is nothing I can do that I’ve spoken to her sternly and not as lovingly as I’d like to. Now I feel so guilty for not being the ‘perfect mum’. I’ve never felt this way before and my frustration is much much bigger than how I react to her, I’m able to be rational most of the time and can move on from it, apologising to her (even though she doesn’t seem to give any shits at all 😂) and repairing the rupture I might have caused, but I’m really beating myself up. I am getting scared I can’t handle two kids if I can’t deal with one… but I am dealing with one, right? Idk. I just feel really overwhelmed and like I’m failing at supporting her.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ChuckaPan · 03/09/2025 14:49

You'll be glad to hear that agonising about perfection is going to go out the window once you have multiple kids and it's in everyone's best interests in my experience!

Everyone will survive, just do your best. Don't beat yourself up!

zaxxon · 03/09/2025 14:54

It sounds like you're doing great. No one is perfect all the time, and these little blips and bad nights won't make any difference in the long run. As long as you're still giving cuddles and love, your toddler will be ok.

Hang in there - I was on my knees at that stage!

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