Wracked with nerves over my DS starting Secondary School

[Whatwouldyoudoif]

He starts tomorrow. Im not OK. Im trying exceptionally hard not to project, but i had a terrible time at secondary school.

Im just so sad hes growing up so fast, im worried about him getting the bus, getting on the right one home after school, if kids are kind to him, if he finds his way okay, so many things.

Please tell me im not the only one who feels sick with nerves today!

I’m with you OP. I loved primary but hated secondary school. DS1 starts tomorrow and he seems pretty chilled about it so I’m trying not to show him how nervous I am for him!

It will be fine - please do not take this the wrong way but since you are aware of the impact of your own negatuve experiences, maybe now would be a good time to get some counselling or some psychotherapy?
Wishing all the best to your DS! It is exciting to start secondary school 😊

Have you prepared him? Has he done the bus journey alone?

My dc all have enjoyed secondary more than primary. No more having to do extra maths in the afternoon with no time for history. Different seating plans so not sitting next to the same person for a whole week. Chance for a bit of independence. Teachers who are specialists in their topic area. Lots of positives about secondary school.

I do think it’s important to think of the positives for him and like Unexpected says, there are quite a few.

I’m in charge of transition at my secondary school. Parents are always more anxious than children. It’s really important to big up the positives, and to lean into the excitement rather than the dread.

DS1 started in Y7 last year and had an absolute blast - he’s got some SEN but loves the structure and the variety.

Is your DS going up with a group of friends?

@Whatwouldyoudoif how was your morning? I waved DS off and he seemed happy enough 🤞🏻 they all have a good day!

He was surprisingly fine this morning, waving him off on the bus was a tear jerker for me! Bring on 3pm!

I think it’s worse for us! My DS had a great day. I hope yours did too 😊

I hope he has a great day OP. DD started secondary two weeks ago and I know how nerve wracking it is.

my 11 year old started in Sep and I’ve been a complete mess to the point I’m getting counselling. I have an 8, nearly 9 year old too. They are both my world and since my boy started high school it’s hit me hard that they are not my little boys anymore. I miss the toddler years so much. It’s fine so quick, too quick and it’s so unfair. Every time I look at pics I cry so much how small they were. Any advice? I’m a wreck

Therapy is the correct course of action here. You are fixating on what has gone, and you need to look to the now and the future. Your DS’s teachers will be getting to know him, and he’ll be enjoying lots of new subjects and friendships. It’s a really fun, exciting and overwhelming time. Congratulate yourself on doing a great job so far, and you can look after DS in new ways, like making sure his pencil case is full and his homework is organised.