3.5yo constantly hitting ?

[cherieonntopp]

Im really struggling with DS' behaviour atm. He is either hitting or kicking or pushing. Everyone when hes happy or frustrated any emotion

So its a lot. We speak about gentle and kind hands. Doesnt register

Tried a time out on our bottom stair and he just gets up and walks away

Try to talk to him about it. Ignores us

How can I help him through this? Its so hard he is doing it so much and the only way to stop him at the time is to shield ourselves or grab his hands and say no but then he just slides his hand out and hits again

Any tips of advice please

Mine is the same OP. The only thing I’ve found that makes any difference is ignoring/deflecting the hitting - blocking his hand, moving away, leaving the room but without comment, so giving it the minimum attention possible. Don’t talk about it loads/do lots of telling off. Then lavishly praise good behaviour to make sure that he isn’t getting the most attention for hitting, if you see what I mean - anything, like ‘you’re sitting quietly at the table’ or ‘you touched your brother gently’. If he hits other kids then do consequences like leaving the playground or sitting/being strapped into buggy - framed as ‘I can’t let other kids get hurt so we need to go home’.

im sorry you’re experiencing this too, it’s horrible and I’ve lost my temper many times after being hit or kicked for the umpteenth time.

Any life triggers? Changes? I think it is a phase some kids go through unfortunately but my son is definitely worse around change which makes him insecure (change of childcare, new sibling).

I tell my DS no, we use kind hands, I give him a warning if he does it again, and I offer him a cuddle. If he doesn't stop I pick him up and put him in his bedroom and tell him "no hitting, time to sit in our room and calm our body down, you can come back downstairs when you use kind hands", then I leave. I'm not accepting aggressive behaviour so I need him to understand its a firm no and he will not be allowed around people if it continues. It does the trick tbf, he either chills and plays independently in his room, which is when I know he just wants his own space, or he comes down and his attitude and behaviour is different. It's difficult, you have to do it every time he uses his hands, it get tedious, but is worth it.