Baby staying at grandparents regularly help seperation anxiety??

[Kim1993x]

Hi all, just looking for some advice on if your baby stayed out overnight with grandparents regularly (once a month) did you see any benefit when your baby went to nursery / needed to be settled by others because they have had that exposure by already being settled by others not only you? And did this help with seperation anxiety with your baby? Thank you!

It sounds like this can only be a good thing for all involved. It’s not healthy for your baby to only be able to settle with you and it’s not healthy for you to feel so anxious about being away from your baby.

Your baby’s Grandparents are family and love your child and starting this routine will make their relationship stronger the older your child gets and the time they’re there will also give you a break.

It doesn't need to be overnight stays, but yes you definitely need to get your baby used to being looked after by other people if you are planning to send them to childcare!

Honestly it's cruel to send a baby who has only ever been with mum, held to sleep and so on to nursery with no preparation.

Once a month overnight will do fuck all.

Regular daily/weekly care by grandparents would be much better.

Also, my baby was left with the nanny from 6 months as I had to go back to work full time. Loves his nanny, and he's a very social kid. Come evening and night time, he still only wants me. Most babies, especially breastfed ones, want their mums at night. It's totally normal.

Once a month isn’t going to do a lot. Neither of mine were really looked after by anyone else before starting nursery at age 1 because we lived abroad with DC1 and DC2 was a covid baby and actually neither had any issues settling. And I know kids that were with the GPs weekly and still struggled. So much is personality dependent. That said a close relationship with extended family is only a good thing, as is having time to yourselves. So if monthly babysitting is on the cards I’d definitely take up the offer. But I wouldn’t assume it’ll have any influence on nursery.

Well it can't hurt can it! If you're lucky enough to have this arrangement then grab it with both hands.

What helps separation anxiety is making baby feel secure and safe with you or whoever is an important carer for them. Separation anxiety is a developmental phase. It doesn’t happen because your baby is too attached to you and that bond needs to be broken. It’s just about their brain development and perception of the world and their relation to it.

So sending them to grandparents isn’t going to help with separation anxiety, because it just ends when it ends. Literally like one day it just goes away. But it would help to settle them in to having care provided by a grandparent, if say, your grandparent will be your childcare. If grandparents aren’t going to be your childcare, I’d focus on lots of settling in sessions with nursery. Because the attachment from one caregiver isn’t really transferable to another in that way. That doesn’t mean overnights wouldn’t be beneficial to you though.