He does Motorsports, I get anxious because I’ve seen children get seriously hurt and also when things don’t go well he gets very upset and it’s awful to see your child so upset.
No I don’t generally get anxious, only really when he races. It’s very difficult to hide it, if I could just switch it off I would. When I do go, I tend to go and stand by myself a couple of races beforehand so he can’t see me, as that’s when my anxiousness starts to build up more and more, but he knows I’m there watching as he’ll see me on the stands when he’s about to go out, so I’ll just wave or blow a kiss.
Sometimes if it’s a race close to home, I just drive on the race day, it’s the long weekend races ie Thursday through Sunday that I struggle with the most, as I don’t sleep, I can barely eat, and I just get really anxious and 4 days is a long time to feel that way! The weekends where it’s just testing Saturday and racing Sunday isn’t too bad, I tend to go to all those ones.
I feel an 8 year old wouldn’t fully understand me saying the real reason I’m not going, hence the white lie, he accepts it when I say no one to have the dog. I don’t want to say to him “I’m scared” as that will make him scared and he shouldn’t be in that mindset, he loves it and enjoys it and that’s how I want it to stay; I don’t want to put it in his mind that I’m scared or there is anything to be scared of.
i know lots of mums don’t go at all for the same reason; they just can’t watch and I was looking for advice off those mums who understand what I’m going through rather than having to explain myself, as I know parents of any one who does a dangerous sport will just get it. But I do appreciate your input, and trying to understand, thank you.