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Coparent not supporting son, so angry

3 replies

Sugarsnapfairy · 27/08/2025 19:28

Long story....apoligies!

My son was home educated by my (now) ex husband, against my better judgement and pleads. My ex believed that my son did not fit into a classroom. I worked full time, while my husband was at home with my son. I always believed this approach did not provide the best social or educational opportunities.

As an aside, my ex was never the bread winner in our marriage, never working. The marriage was abusive, and my thoughts, feelings and opinions were overshadowed by his.

Fast forward to GCSE results, which fell short of the apprenticeship I supported my son to find (19 job applications) on my own, my ex never enquiring or helping my son once.
My son is to start his back up course next Tuesday. It is in the city, a 40 minute drive away, about an hours bus ride.

I just overheard my son on the phone to my husband, whi was telling him its not ideal and he's not going to earn money doing the course. He told him he's not happy running him to the city to do a course his heart isn't in. My son chose this course, and I took him to interview for it back in July. He's not once voiced this to me. I feel if I ask my son, he'll be led by his dad's words, as he is controlling.

I then heard my son saying "ok, I'll talk to mum".

I've got a terrible feeling my son is being worked on by my ex, and he's going to back out of the course. I'm livid!!!! My ex has always been the same. I truly believe he's just being lazy and cannot be bothered to support our son in a practical way!

I dont know what to do from here. It's not fair on my son for me to hold my hands up and say his dad can pick up from here, but I've put in so much hard work supporting him this year, for his dad to wreck it all and my son being left with nothing!

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 27/08/2025 21:03

Is your son happy to do the course?

Is exH involved at all in this arrangement - paying for the course? Expected to give transport help? If not, what exactly is the purpose of his input?

And in terms of money - it’s an apprenticeship - of course he’s not going to be wanting mega bucks but (presumably) it’s a route to some good future prospects? Does your exH think he should get a job instead?

BlaBlaBlaBlaBlaBlaBlaBlaBlaBla · 27/08/2025 21:07

Get your son some professional careers advice if he is unsure.

Sugarsnapfairy · 27/08/2025 21:31

I have since spoken to my son, I approached him. Yes, he's happy to do the course and saud ye thinks he'll enjoy it.

There is no financial input needed from either of us. The most my ex may need to do is give our son a ride.

I believe my ex wants him to get a job. Our son lives with me 80% of the time, and I'd rather support him to prioritise training over just any job for now.

OP posts:
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