Advice for cosleeping please

[newmama2023]

So my toddler (2.5) will fall asleep in our bed. We transfer her to her own bed. She wakes up anytime between 11 and 1.30am and comes back into our bed, where she will sleep the rest of the night. We have tried to resettle her in her bed, but this never works, and in order to get sleep ourselves, its better shes in our bed. Until tonight when she fell out of our bed, shes ok, but its terrified me. And im trying to think of what i can do to stop this from happening again. So im looking for advice.
I dont know wether to get a single mattress on the floor in her room, so when she wakes up i am there and she can settle knowing im there, or she can lie next to me on the mattress.
Or do i get a single bed and have it next to my side of the bed, so theres extra space for her and get some more of those bed guards around it. Or should i get a bed guard for the bottom of our bed so she cant fall out of it again.
I feel like i Cant go back to sleep, I'm so anxious about it and would really appreciate any advice from people who have this sort of situation already sorted.
Thank you

No need to be terrified, falling out of bed at a normal height won't do any damage.

If you want to encourage her to start sleeping in her own bed then a half way stage is a sleeping bag next to your own bed. You are nearby if that's what she needs, but less comfortable than her own bed.

You need to start settling her in her bed at the beginning of the night, then be consistent with taking her back to her bed when she gets up in the night. As pp said though, try not to worry about her falling out - they all will at some point and a normal height bed isn’t going to cause damage.

Decide whether you mind her being in your bed or not.

If you want her to sleep in her own bed, then you'll have to consistently take her back to her own bed every time she comes into your bed.

If you don't mind her being in your bed or find it easier for now so that you get some sleep, then I'd have her in the middle of the bed. It's not like co-sleeping with a young baby when you have to be so careful about them overheating etc.

It's what we did with our toddler. She did tend to starfish so dp and I were pushed to the side of the bed but when that got a bit irritating, I used to tell myself that it wouldn't be forever and I'd miss it when she grew out of wanting to come in with us - both of which were true.

Thank you both, unfortunately our bed is quite a high divan with thick mattress, weve both been up since it happened and she is honestly absolutely fine it seems, but watching her closely for the following 24 hours.
I will definitely try and settle her in her bed tonight. We just always fail at it, She just always wants to be snuggled and holds onto me to sleep, and I can't get into her toddler bed unfortunately.

Thank you, i definitely dont mind her being in the bed with us, she hasnt ever slept well so i will take the sleep where i can, she does the exact same thing and pushes us to the side. She always sleeps inbetween us and must of spun so far around and got to the bottom of the bed before falling out with a horrible thud, so that has honestly scared me so much.

That was very athletic to spin all the way to the bottom of the bed in her sleep! I've reread your op now and can see that you were thinking of a bed guard for the bottom of the bed, which makes sense if she sleeps between the 2 of you.

I understand that it must have given you a shock when it happened but it sounds like she's fine so I would try and relax and get back to sleep. Toddlers are robust little things and she's very unlikely to have done anything more than given herself a fright.

Personally, I wouldn't bother with a bed guard. What you could do, if you're worried about it happening again, is to chuck a few spare pillows on the floor at the end of the bed to cushion her fall. Or when she comes back in to your bed in the early hours, if either of you can face getting out of bed, you could get the duvet off her toddler bed and put that on the floor at the end of your bed, just in case.
But it was probably just a one off. Rolling off the side of the bed is more likely (though still not the sort of thing that happens very often) and she can't do that if she's sleeping in the middle.

Oh it’s terrifying isn’t it. I know she’s fine but you’ll be on edge for a while. We’ve been on holiday the past week and both my two year old and 4 year old fell out of the bed because they move so much and hotels aren’t designed for children sleeping in beds! Luckily I had already cushioned the floor with pillows so they were ok.

We co sleep a lot because they just sleep better in bed with one of us so we have foldable bed guards on the side of the bed which are folded down when not in use but up when we needed them.

When my oldest moved into his toddler bed a couple years ago, I wanted bed guards at the foot of the bed because he moves so much and I was worried he would fall out of bed. So he had a super long bed guard on the side of his bed but we decided against a bottom guard. Luckily he’s not moved that far down yet.

My younger DC, however, moves so much so if he’s in bed with me, I put heavy cushions on the foot of bed that he can’t easily push back whilst he’s tossing and turning, or cushions on the floor so that if he falls, he will be fine. Because of the style of our bed we can’t put a bed guard there but if it was an option for us, we would definitely get a foldable one for there too.

Hope you find a solution OP, and hope you manage get some rest today after being up all night!

Maybe upgrade her from a toddler bed to a single. She might want more room
Or a double if you have room - lay with her in her big bed to get her to sleep then move into your own room. It's more comfy if you need to come in the night too to resettle, or if she comes in your bed, you can at least sleep comfortably in her single/double

We have a very high bed and I wouldn’t want my 3 year old in with us as it’s quite a way to fall. We got her a low small double bed which one of us can get in if needed instead. I also use DIY bed guards (rolled up towel along the edge) which work most of the time unless she is particularly active at night. Obviously a larger bed is only possible if the room is big enough.

I’d make her a floor bed in her room, double if you have space, then join her there to re-settle her when she wakes up. I did this for a while and would either creep back to bed or fall asleep there. She will eventually sleep through and you’ll be so glad to have your bed back!