Please help I’m really struggling with my 2 year old

[ShannonLouiseX]

Hi all! My little girl is 2 years and 6 months old, she absolutely hates getting dressed and changing her nappy we are trying to potty train she just hasn’t got the hang of it yet, while doing these things it turns into a huge tantrum where she will scream and cry for a good 20 minutes, we are also struggling with getting ways to stop doing things she likes eg playing when we have to go somewhere or leave the park it’s exhausting, it leads to a tantrum again lasting either till we are home when we walk in pram and that can be a good 20 minutes, is this normal behaviour for her I’m getting concerned

Pretty normal. Maybe stop potty training - it's not stressful when they're ready. It's a weekend job when it's the right time.

Clothes and nappy changes are normal battlegrounds. Just stay calm and keep steering the ship.

Try pull ups rather than nappy and changing standing up, much quicker and can she try and pull them up / down herself?

Use a timer/alarm for leaving places - say you have 5 minutes left to play and when my phone beeps we are going home. Takes a while to click but works like a dream for us.

Talk in advance about the routine of the day so they know what to expect e.g. first we are going to the supermarket, then we are going to the park

Offer choices for getting dressed - do you want to wear the red t shirt or the blue t shirt? We were having massive battles getting in and out of the bath but weirdly playing music helps with this?

All normal at 2 I'm afraid but good news is that things will eventually get easier if you prove you are stronger willed than your child and don't give too much attention in the middle of tantrums. Offering a 2yr old, a couple of choices in terms of dress, food etc usually helps but too much choice can make things worse. The 2-3 years test parents' patience to the max (to the point, a parent is ready to cry or implode). Every day seems to bring a new battle but you can choose what you will not
compromise on and what you can so it's possible to choose the times your child can have their preference and which they can't. If you find a mirror and show them what it looks like when they are having a tantrum, they sometimes stop but not every time. Distraction can be useful in ths form of another person.

As others have said use pull ups and leave potty training for now. I would leave the potty in the bathroom though. If others have easy two years (I had one of these) don’t worry they’ll get their turn with the tantrums and it’s worse when they are older

The terrible two's!

My son also hated all transitions. I used to have to prep transitions so he didn't realise we were 'going home' etc.

Eg. ice cream time! (the ice cream van or shop is near where I parked the car), then 'where spiderman? oops I think we left him in the car - we need to rescue him - quick lets go find him'. Boring stuff like going to the shops had to be - 'your turn to choose your favorite biscuits!' let's go . . .

He's a teen now so it's just . . . 'we're going, you're coming / end of'. 😄

Hey OP. It's called the terrible twos for exactly this reason. You're doing nothing wrong, she's doing nothing wrong, but if you can relax a bit and embrace it you might find some silly solutions. There's a great book called How to Talk so Little Kids Listen with great ideas - like saying her shoes are hungry and they want to eat her feet in order to make putting shoes on a silly and fun thing! (I mean, she might take offence at this and cry even more, so use your judgement!)

And agree with others, just leave off the potty training for a while.

I loved the terrible twos - they are hilarious if you're able to not give a shit what people think or worry about it.

I missed out in the terrible twos as my dds were adopted when they were older but dgd is two and she switches from temper to tears to laughing in the blink of an eye.
I’ve found I can sometimes jolly her out of a meltdown by mimicking her in an exaggerated way - “whah, whah, noooo, noooo” or gentle tickling or distraction such as saying “that doggie is laughing at you.”
If she throws herself on the floor I might stand there looking unbothered. If she won’t leave when it’s time to go, there might be no alternative but to pick her up and carry her a few steps, say out of the playground, and then she will usually walk to the car. Or just strap her in the buggy if we don’t have the car nearby (difficult when they arch their back and go stiff as a board). Or offer her her beloved dummy or juice (I’m not a fan of either but I’m not her mum).
As a grandmother I’m not faced with tantrums every day though so I do get how wearing it is for parents!

Ps dd is giving dgd stickers for potty training but as it’s taking rather a long time I suspect she’s not ready yet (or dd isn’t putting the effort in).

For transitions, before you start an activity say going to the park tell them afterwards you will go home and have lunch and then give, 10 mins, 5 mins, 2 mins and last turns warning before ending the activity.

Please don’t do this. Imagine if you were upset and someone told you people were laughing at you, you would change your behaviour but you would feel so much worse then you did at the start. It is the same for children.