10 year old girls and hormones

[Mandy1010]

my DD 10 has suddenly become really emotional over the past 2 weeks. Lots of crying over things which she wouldn’t normally cry over. Last week it took me ages to coax out of her what the matter was because she thought I wouldn’t be able to help. Eventually she told me that it was because she doesnt want to grow up. We were away on holiday and there were a lot of young kids around.

She cried over something else today (wanting her friend to be able to stay in the swimming pool longer with her) and said she doesn’t know why she is getting to upset over things but that she wants to be busy all the time so that she doesn’t have time to think and get upset.

obviously im thinking that this is the start of hormones kicking in. Anyone else who’s been there before with preteen girls have any advice how to negotiate this? I’m struggling to put her mind at ease. It’s only just started and I’m finding it quite emotionally draining already.

Hormotional. Fun times. I’ve learned to just let DD have her moment and her little cry because that’s actually what she needs. It passes a lot quicker now when I just tell her it’s ok to cry and just to let it all out, rather than try to “fix” it.

I'm watching with interest. I'm raising my 10yo granddaughter and the last few months have been a roller-coaster. The outbursts aren't always logical, but I listen as sometimes, most times, there's nothing logical about it. I've also noticed she's taking naps, which definitely help her mood.

I've raised two girls and they have shared memories of how they recall feeling, etc., and it's similar. They also reminded me about reading "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, " by Judy Blume. It was made into a movie in 2033.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?q=www.goodreads.com/book/show/37732.Are_You_There_God_It_s_Me_Margaret&sa=U&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwijp9-Y7qiPAxUwIEQIHZ1aDP8QoiQoAHoECC0QAg&usg=AOvVaw2Qk0MT3FesskBOC4VaCupO" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Goodreads
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. is a classic 1970 coming-of-age novel by Judy Blume that follows 11-year-old Margaret Simon as she navigates puberty, friendships, and her family's interfaith background. Told from Margaret's perspective, the book explores themes of religion, body image, and social acceptance through her personal, journal-like conversations with God. The novel is known for its honest and relatable portrayal of pre-teen anxieties and remains a beloved, though sometimes controversial, text for young readers.

My apologies for the way the book information got posted. Meant to just include the link.

Mine is 12 now and it’s got a bit better simce she started her periods a couple of months ago. She missed last months so I think it’s still settling down and she said when she did start them it’s making sense now because I couldn’t understand why I felt so angry.

Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll check out the film!

yes the strong emotions are sometimes taking me by surprise as it’s so different from how she was just a couple of weeks ago!

You’re probably right that I don’t need to try and fix everything but just listen. It’s like even though I know it’s coming it’s caught me a bit off guard!

Lots of hugs, listening rather than trying to fix - wait until asked or they'll get angry IME, accept that they think they know it all and have a deeper grasp of the whole world than you ever had at their age or ever could have. Smile and nod.
Prepare for periods (we do period pants rather than toxic tampons and stinky leaky pads) but mainly a hug or a long car journey usually help break the weird "can't talk about it" bubble.

Thanks!

“Hormotional” is such a good word for it!! DD was like this for about 18 months before she got her period (10y 10m). She’d get upset and angry, but didn’t know why, which made her more upset and angry! This dissappeared almost instantly once she got her period.

I know.. I know. It’s a total headfuck going from crying for a reason (which you can normally do something about) to..
me: what’s wrong? Why are you crying?
her: I doooon’t knowwwww! And wailing even more inconsolably. Took me a while to adjust . She’s nearly 14 now so I had plenty of time to get my head around it.

I have this with my daughter too, a hug and just listening to her normally helps. Worse when she is tired of course. Most of the time she said she's upset and she doesn't know why! It's a lot for them I think.

Aww it's really hard. I found talking about how it feels to want to be the grown up girl who can walk to the shops themselves one moment & want to be the baby girl sitting on mummy's knee the next helped. Talked about how being tired or hungry can make things feel trickier & sometimes our hormones do the same thing but we find it harder to spot/can't fix with food/sleep.

lots of reassurance that it's normal & reminders to take a deep breath & try to notice if you're actually angry or really need a hug etc

IME it's so much better once they get their period & you can predict their hormonal state!!