Potty Training-Is this going well?

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Started potty training DS at 26 months using the Oh Crap method. We are on day 4 and since day 3 pretty much no accidents. The problem is while he gives really obvious cues he almost always needs me to take him to the potty or he’ll just wee himself or poo in his pants. I’m seeing some improvement in that he’ll hold it so we have more time but he only initiates on his own for his morning wee.

I’m worried once he transitions back to nursery that he’ll have loads of accidents unless he’s more independent—how do you nudge them along? For poo I think he genuinely needs a bit of comfort but wee he just looks down like “oh it’s coming” but doesn’t make attempts to go to the potty at all.

Basicslly just looking for some nice gentle ways to get him moving towards the potty even if he still needs some help. He can pull his trousers up and down fine etc so the mechanics of it aren’t a problem and it’s more when he’s left it too long.

nursery should remind them and take them to the potty. My youngest (and quite a few others) were still being reminded in reception. The preschool mine two went to had set times all potty trained ones were encouraged to go to the potty.

I mean it depends on the nursery. Ours said that most of the training has to happen at home, and they only let the kids go nappy free when they can hold it and also articulate that they need to go.

They had far too many children to be asking them all the time whether they needed to wee, or indeed to take them regularly to the toilet. That's the parents' job.

That does sound like progress if he's starting to hold it a bit. I'd expect this to increase. I would explain to nursery that he is at the point of noticing he is going but he needs an adult to hurry him to the toilet ASAP when that happens, and send several changes of clothing. When is he due to go back? If they are open today but he's not back today, you could give them a quick call and ask whether they'd be able to support where he currently is at or if they need him to be a bit more reliable.

I know Oh Crap says absolutely no to rewards, but I think a small reward like a sticker or small sweet can work wonders in the motivation department here, if you do need to speed things up.

@BertieBotts Ive got 5 more days and am open to short days at nursery to start. Basically take him at 9 and pick him up before or after his nap. (He’s an inconsistent napper at nursery which can make him grumpy).

Nursery is great and I don’t think they are concerned—they said he sounds like he’s doing well and are fine for him to come just in some joggers and no pants. I just remember with my first even after she was really good at using the potty (like months of being accident free and going herself), she started having accidents when she moved to this nursery so I want to help him get as independent as possible so his confidence doesn’t get knocked too much.

I guess what I’m struggling with most is balancing building his confidence by supporting him and letting go and handing control over to him.

We’re tackling day and night all in one go so it is a lot at once, but he does seem to be getting it all and just want to keep progressing little by little. Naps he’s been dry since day 1 and we had our first dry night where he woke and I got up and helped him go at night.

Sounds like it’s going well to me. I used Oh Crap too. My little one had a few accidents for a while but just kept on and can’t remember the last one now. If he’s doing well at home, even if needing to be guided/taken to the toilet that will eventually work at nursery. Don’t be disheartened if he has lots of accidents especially if nursery staff don’t notice the cues. Just keep reinforcing it at home and it will happen. Good luck!

I guess I won’t worry about guiding him to the potty then. He still seems to struggle a bit when it comes to relaxing and releasing wee, which I hope will sort itself out as using the potty becomes more familiar. Am trying different games that involve blowing as per advice around wee withholding. He will go every two hours or so but just waits until it’s nearly too late even if I had him on the potty five minutes earlier.

I think in general he’s making progress each day, so I’ll just wait and hope for the best once he returns to nursery next week.

That sounds like great progress to me. Remembering to go without being told can take much longer (I often have you remind my 4 year old who has been trained for over 2 years!). Nursery will be very experienced and used to it and will work things out there; just send lots of spare bottoms just in case.

Thanks to those who posted! Slowly getting there. I did expect it would take a bit more time as he's on the younger side, but I either had to take the plunge now or wait until spring due to my work schedule. Wees seem to be improving, at least I'm getting a sense of when he really needs to go and he's actually weeing when I ask him to take a potty break rather than waiting until it's too late. Did wake up this morning to poo falling out of his shorts but to be fair he'd just got up so I don't think was awake enough to realise he needed to sit on the potty.

He did ask for the potty twice yesterday when he needed to poo, which was a big accomplishment. This was even while out using the travel potty, so fingers crossed he gets more reliable about asking and we can get back into a normal routine again. This is my second child and still find the potty training business stressful in the early days!

Could use some words of encouragement today. Yesterday was day 7 and he was amazing. Took himself to potty twice in the morning, once for wee and once for poo. Went wee most of the time when prompted after two hours being dry. Zero accidents in all and woke up dry the next day too. (we’re doing night time tracing as per Oh Crap method so that was with lifting him at 2am which seems to work for us).

Today, however, was a mess. Nothing has fully made it in potty. He’ll stop mid wee if I say hold it and move him to potty, but we had three wee accidents and two poo accidents. Little guy fell asleep early today and poo was looser than usual so not sure if it’s regression or oncoming illness. He’s been wanting lots more cuddles too.

I really thought he cracked it yesterday. We’ve been successfully going out on long outings and everything for days now but this morning was so awful I’m losing hope and thinking he’s not as ready as I thought. Part of why I figured we’d give it a go is because he’s accurately told us when he needs to poo for ages and was expressing interest in using the potty.

Anyone? I could really use some words of encouragement. The afternoon did not go much better, even though he seemed in good spirits. Only one wee on the potty and that was because I saw him get his pre-wee look and said 'hold it' and took him to the potty.

I'm not sure if this is potty training regression or what's going on. I have tried being more laid back and am not prompting as often as I have a good sense of his cues and around when he'll need to go, but geez it's crazy to go from everything in the potty one day and then next to nothing the next day. This is day 8 too!

I'm more of a go with the flow type and didn't use any particular method with my DS, but I'd say that this process isn't linear and you will have ups and downs. Despite how many people rave about Oh Crap or other methods, ultimately it depends on how ready your DS is.

To me it sounds like he's not quite ready yet but as I said, not linear.

I’m about three weeks into potty training and I’d say your little one is doing pretty well. Mine has good days and bad days. Sometimes goes three or four days with no accidents and then has a day of not ever making it to the potty on time. It depends on so many things and I think my advice to you would be to just go with the flow and not overthink it so much. Sometimes my son will ask for the potty, sometimes he needs reminding. Both are fine.

My son has done one day a week at nursery while I’ve been training him and so far he hasn’t gone on the potty there once and has had lots of accidents. Mainly because he’s so busy playing he just forgets. From next week he’s back to three days a week there and I think he’ll probably have quite a few accidents to start with but he’ll soon get the hang of it.

I think you’re looking for a “there we’ve nailed it” moment, but in my experience that doesn’t really happen. Months down the line you’ll just realise one day that he hasn’t had an accident for ages. As long as you keep him in his big boy pants now and keep reminding him to sit on the potty and applauding him when he goes (literally in our case - we all give him a round of applause!) then he’ll get there.

Thanks! I needed that reminder that it’s not a linear process. I think a lot of the potty training threads talk about things just “clicking” one day and don’t talk about ups and downs after the initial learning phase. Bless him he did manage a few more wees this evening, though this is partly because he loves sitting on the potty at key times in his routine like bath time and bedtime. But he did it himself and got his pants down without help and everything.

We are in the trenches with DD who is 25 months old. She will go when prompted by someone but is happy to sit in an accident so think we are admitting defeat just now and will try again in a few months time.

@Sub2Mumma , I think we may do a reset and go back to nappies tonight. We did have a better morning today, but after his nap he got really upset about sitting on the potty and weed himself and I'm getting increasingly exhausted and frustrated, so I think we all just need some space to calm down again.

Don't feel too bad if you do have to pause things. I did that with my oldest and when we tried again it was super easy the second time around.

You need to massively chill out.

He's just learnt a new skill! He's aced it one day and you're upset/anxious/worried because he's had one bad day?! Have you ever learnt a skill in a week and then never, ever made a mistake after that? Perfect from then on? I doubt it.

Give the boy a break!

You can't train nighttime dryness, that's hormonal/developmental so get some pull-ups for over night.

Carry on during the day, but chill out. He will have accidents and that's ok. Loads of praise for when he succeeds. Get him to help with the clear-up when he doesn't succeed so that he learns that going to the potty is quicker/easier than doing it in his pants. I'd imagine the reason he's upset about the potty today is because he's picking up on your stress levels!

@NuffSaidSam , I get it. I said “may” need a reset because I was watching how my ds is responding to potty training and want to be sure he’s not getting overwhelmed, and I recall from my first dc how much a short pause made a difference. I am super positive with him and my pp was written when I was feeling tired and a little frustrated. (My DH had been away the past two days and little one has started taking 1.5-2 hours to go to bed using potty stalls). I’ve been doing 9 days of potty training 24/7, which I get isn’t a lot to learn a new skill and defo understand there will be ups and downs and accidents along the way. Mainly came here for support as we all have those weak moments of frustration or doubt.

Honestly, stop the night time training. That will happen when he's ready. Read up on it. There's no value in doing that now.

My DD is two and a half and we started potty training at the beginning of the month. There is definitely a dip around day 10 where they get in a right mess and once you're past that, it all seems to click into place more.

DD has been wearing a nappy over her pants and in the last week, she has really nailed keeping her pants dry. We've had maybe 3 accidents since last weekend.

I agree with PP, ditch the night training. It's not a thing, they're dry when they're dry due to hormones, nothing else. But don't give up on the day time, he sounds like he's starting to get it!

Thanks, @TeddyBeans ! That is useful to know. We’ve had a really excellent day today so far and were out all day so that seems positive. He also stayed dry all night and didn’t wee when I lifted him. One reason I’m trialing the night training is because he was waking with dry nappies and it worked a treat with my daughter, who was about his age when we potty trained. (Though I see it more as testing if he’s ready to go all night than actual training, and do understand the science behind staying dry at night). Of course if he doesn’t manage after a few weeks we’ll look into some reusable pulls ups. But he tends to do a big wee and poo upon waking and if the nappy is there goes in it but if not will use the potty, so I think in terms of establishing a morning routine it is helping.

Get him back to nursery and normal routine, if he hasn't been back to nursery where he usually goes since you started potty training that's a long time.

You'll have good days and bad days, but you need to take the pressure and focus off potty training. Don't put him back in nappies!

Sounds like he's continuing to make good progress! Keep at it but expect it to fall apart a bit when he goes back to nursery. Sounds good on the night time front too if he's waking up dry on his own accord 😊 keep going mumma, you got this!

@Youcancallmeirrelevant , he went back today and did great! No accidents and he took straight to using his potty there. I meant to have him back on Monday but it turned out to be a teacher training day—definitely felt like a long time!!

So it seems despite a little wobble over the weekend he’s getting it. He was accident free yesterday too and we were out and about all day.

Thanks again to everyone for all the encouraging words! I'm so glad I stuck with it during those couple of hard days towards the end of our potty training week. Just to update in case anyone is curious, I did keep to night training and it took about 1.5 weeks of lifting once a night (more to figure out pee patterns and help him stay dry while learning) and then at around 2 weeks he would start to not wee when I got him up so I stopped and he now either sleeps through the night without any accidents or wakes up and goes to the potty himself in the night. Yippee! So, while I know it is definitely hormonal/developmental for night time dryness, it did feel worthwhile to give him a chance to try to show he was ready.