Bottle refuser and return to work

[Leaf86]

My 8 month old DD has been ebf from birth and stupidly, we haven’t been regularly offering her a bottle ready for me to go back to work. She took it a few times very easily in the first couple of months, but she had colic and reflux and the bottle feeding seemed to make her gas worse, so we abandoned it. I didn’t realise it would then become so tricky.

I have been trying to get her to take a bottle for the past 6 ish weeks with no joy. I have been back at work (I work full time) for a week. She has refused a bunch of different type of bottles, sippy cups etc - we’ve tried pumped milk and formula. I’m currently having to go and feed her in my lunch break, which I’m happy to do, but it’s not sustainable with work long term. Her nursery is family run, very small, lovely and they have been great with her. She’s happy when she’s not hungry, basically. But if she’s hungry, she’s so so so upset (obviously). She won’t eat solids unless she’s had a bf.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Any advice? I don’t know whether I’m prolonging the agony by going over to feed her - whether she needs to be hungrier in order to take the bottle. Do I just go cold turkey and leave her all day once I know she’s totally used to nursery? She’s drunk between 1-4 oz with them so I know she can, she just won’t take a full feed. I share a bed with her and feed on demand outside of work hours so I can top her up, but she really needs at least one bottle/feed pre lunch nap to get through the day. So stressful!

My DD was exactly the same when I went back to work at 8 months. I bf her before and after nursery and then tried a sippy cup for during the day. She wouldn't take much at first but then after a few days at nursery she just suddenly started to guzzle it all down.

Sorry, just seen you've tried a cup. Does she eat much solid food? If she is eating there I would try leaving off the lunchtime feed a few days and seeing if she drinks the milk if she's hungry. My DD wouldn't really have the cup at home but drank it when she was hungry at nursery.

I'd stop going in at lunchtime and let your DD and the nursery staff work it out between them. She will either take a bottle or start eating more solid food. Imagine if something happened and you could no longer breastfeed...she wouldn't starve to death. She'd find another way.

I had similar. DD never accepted a bottle but ate enough to keep going. However, prepare yourself for lots of feeding/night feeding to catch up..

when I went back to work, my EBF 7 month old baby refused bottles, including expressed milk. Instead he ended up reverse cycling. I’d give him a big feed before work. He’d refuse everything all day, except perhaps a tiny bit of water if it was really hot. Then, as soon as I got home, he was on me feeding for ages - most of the evening on and off.

He also woke up a couple of times in the night for a feed.

I felt guilty and was exhausted and drained but he was fine. I also did rather like the feeding connection in the evening after being apart all day.

Good luck!

I stopped BF DD at around 8 months, she never took a bottle. Instead I made sure she had plenty of milk on cereal, puddings and sauces. She still is not interested in milk as a drink, and she's 22

You’ve had good advice and I agree with previous posters you can stop when ready with lunch time visits. She will adapt.

adding in case it helps, my DD never liked bottles or cups, but would drink out of a plastic shot glass 🤷‍♀️ slowly she took more and more this way.

I was also a shit pumper, so just let myself off the hook for this and used the mini bottles of pre made formula. Expensive but when she refused there wasn’t lots of waste and it was convenient for me. It also didn’t stop her being an absolute booby monster as soon as she saw me (and all night).

I also know of babies who took a bottle then stopped. So don’t blame yourself for not persisting earlier. They are oddly stubborn little things sometimes! 🙂

Between 1 and 4 Floz is a full feed for a BF baby though? On average they take around 25 Floz in 24 hours so that amount of EBM or fornula is fine.

Cam you try swapping the breastfeeding and solids round at other times? I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months, I then immediately went to solids for breakfast (followed by formula later if needed) rather than breastmilk then solids. I found it improved DCs appetite for breakfast. This might help your DC change the association so they're more willing to try solids and water at nursery?

Are you using bottles that mimic breast shape and flow?
Mimjumi, or Oberini? Found on Amazon.

They latch onto the teat as they would a breast. It's completely different to how babies are given a bottle, when it's put into their mouth as opposed to the action of them finding the nipple and latching on.

It also mimics flow, so they have to work for the milk using their suckle reflex, and the milk comes out paced instead of flowing freely as with usual bottles.

So using these bottles will also prevent their gut from bloating as too much milk is being taken too fast.

My baby switches between her Oberini well, but been giving it since birth.

They won't transition to a normal bottle because they have no reference on how to use it. Also make sure baby has a way to satisfy their suckle reflex during nursery, as this doesn't go away, they have it for their entire natural weaning age, so need a 'dummy' in place of a breast to alleviate this, or they will become upset.

Thank you all so much for the excellent advice and reassurance. She must have heard that I wanted advice as decided to take 3oz twice from my partner today (and would have had more if I had left more pumped milk). 🙄 I’m relieved - just hope she repeats it at nursery!

@BunnyRuddington agree, it’s just she was only taking 1oz all day.

@Onthebusses thats interesting, I haven’t heard of those. The bottle she eventually took does look very similar to the oberini teat, so that makes sense. She uses a dummy for sleep, but tends to spit it out if she’s awake.

I breastfed on my lunch hour for just over 4 months till my first was 12 months old. You might find she eats more and drinks for water even at 10 months.

We tried loads of bottles and cups before and after I went back and nothing worked.

Mine was the same. I just bf before and after and he was offered a bottle at nursery which he never accepted. He did drink some water from a soppy cup though. I didn't bother pumping it's too time consuming and as he wouldn't take a bottle seemed pointless. My supply adjusted really quickly, I was able to breadyfedd until he was 3 although the last year/10 months was only really before bed.