Hi everyone
I’ve recently gone no contact with my child’s dad as prior to this we would argue a lot and then he’d only have contact with our child if I was there or what ever. If he disagreed or started an argument over something he’d dissapear for a week at the least could be 10 days and I mean 0 contact with myself or our child by blocking me.
I went no contact and then I broke it and within the first day of breaking it within the first 2 hours he was already calling me a slag etc.
so anyway I believe him to be controlling etc like when I asked him to pick 2 evenings a week and have her for example 3 weekends on either the Saturday or Sunday so he still got a break he screamed at me you can’t tell me what to do. If he doesn’t send me maintenance for her and I have to ask for it I’m a money grabber etc.
so while we are in no contact I have my sister being the 3rd party so she will communicate with us both about when he will see her etc,okay fine I have still been taking her as he doesn’t drive and I do so my sister has been coming to take her to his door etc.
he had her twice this week and then for 4 hours today… perfect exactly what I think is right for her when it comes to going to school etc! He has an elder son who is 12 our child is almost 4.
he then messages my sister saying can you ask or tell (me) that I want to take them out every single time I’ve got him from now on because I feel they both loved being with each other and blah blah. I didn’t stop them growing together up until a year ago I used to argue and fight for us to have time together I used to ask and ask and ask for a family day or for us all to live together as a family and he didn’t want it. Now she’s older and she’s easier it’s like she’s only just now good enough to spend time with him and his son and I’m not okay with that. Us as women or other dads would have their children together from early and just do separate days out and do 1-1 time that way no? I mean if I had two children those ages I couldn’t send one away until they got old enough to cope with.
my question is how do I even navigate it because I feel like he’ll try and want her every weekend at some point which I said to my sister no I want to actually spend time with our child aswell like I want to take her out I want to see her at a weekend. She said well if me and her partner weren’t together she’d love him taking her kids every weekend.
i just feel like I went through the trenches on my own he kicked us out 2.3 years ago and expected us to stay every now and then and at one point he wanted us there every night until his son came and now he’s like I can be super dad and have you all the time together. It just feels really harsh that I’m supposed to just give up my time with her every weekend as we work and pre school all week.
im not the one that wanted it to be split although I am now
I also don’t know how much longer my sister will be 3rd party cause the idea was it wouldn’t be for very long but now I can’t think of anything worse than talking to him again
my question is how do I even navigate it ?
because I feel like he’ll try and want her every weekend at some point which I said to my sister no I want to actually spend time with our child aswell like I want to take her out I want to see her at a weekend. She said well if me and her partner weren’t together she’d love him taking her kids every weekend. I will do what’s best for her and let her go regular and consistently as it benefits her too