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Parenting

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Frustrated by dyspraxic DD

9 replies

Crispautumn · 24/08/2025 09:21

DD 10 has dyspraxia. She does well at school, is clearly bright.

She is wired for laziness, though. I know the dyspraxia makes even the smallest things seem harder and so I try to be really understanding, but it’s hard when she won’t put the effort in.

She goes to exercise clubs a few times a week (we have finally found some that she will accept going and seems to enjoy after years of trial and error) but she puts the bare minimum effort in. She is never out of puff, red in the face and sweaty like I see many of the other DC who are trying their best! She is always the slowest, the last, but it’s clear from watching that she isn’t putting the same level of effort in as others.

Every day things around the house are the same. She won’t wear any shoes with laces, even though I have coached her so many times and offer to get her started too as I know she struggles with pulling them tight. She is just always still. She loves to read, is very creative and writes stories/books with drawings. I love these hobbies for her, but she is just so wired to “chilling” and being sedentary.

I worry so much about when she is older and really notice the difference in her mood when she gets exercise and fresh air. We go on walks and do fun things as a family, which she will come along on and seems to have a reasonably fun time, but it’s always a battle to get her to go.

I have dyspraxia too and I was useless at any sport until I found I enjoyed running. I will never be the fastest but I am fit and can run good times. I encourage DD to junior Parkrun and she can get good times if she puts in the effort, but her preference is to plod along so she’s not tired or out of breath.

I have a long history of obesity (her dad’s side too actually) and no one in our house is obese nor models bad habits but I worry that’s where she’s heading. She’s already put on a bit of weight, especially over the summer holidays.

OP posts:
CoughCoughLaugh · 24/08/2025 09:57

Ah, I feel your pain, my daughter is also dyspraxic and is now 17. She sounds very similar in many ways. She's not good at sports, but did ballet and dance at school which really helped with her coordination. She can't really run as she literally can't breathe and throws up and is currently under investigation for heart and lung problems. I also suspect I am dyspraxic, never diagnosed as I'm in my 50's and a diagnosis is pretty irrelevant now. Like you, I was also rubbish at sports, but I started "running" in my forties. I'm still pretty rubbish, but it's a sport I can kind of do and enjoy (although I use that word loosely! 😂). All I can say is, keep encouraging your girl to do things but don't make a big issue of it and, like you and me, one day she will find her thing as she gets older, maybe only when she's in her forties... 😉

Bramblecrumb · 24/08/2025 10:56

Do you think it's worth trying a load of different exercise classes? Maybe at a gym? I feel your pain - I'm dyspraxic too and it's only now in my thirties that I've found exercise that I can do and enjoy (pilates/swimming).

BallerinaFall · 24/08/2025 10:59

Just know that she will know you're frustrated with her, that you think she's lazy and that she needs to put more effort in.

Please try to understand your daughter for who she is.

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Octavia64 · 24/08/2025 10:59

My son is dyspraxic.

he loves exercise and does a lot of running, swimming and hill walking.

i think there may be more than one issue going on with your DD. She may well
be dyspraxic (in which case go for non competitive sports) but she also clearly doesn’t like exercise.

keep trying.

LIZS · 24/08/2025 11:03

Does it matter if she does not look hot and sweaty afterwards? The fact she will go and participate is a small win. Activities where she is not in direct competition or team, like sailing or climbing might work better though. Does she swim? Is she hypermobile, if so she may have to put more effort, physically and mentally, into the simplest of moves than her peers. She will be conscious of how much easier it is for others but may not grasp why.

As to laces it really does not matter, lots of trainers are non tie and use elastic laces. By all means challenge her but don’t set put to make things trickier and force it. Ds still pre-ties laces and slips shoes on and off!

StressedGrapevine · 25/08/2025 21:31

Didn't get diagnosed with dyspraxia until my 30s, so I didn't know the underlying reason, but always knew that I was crap at traditional PE (apart from running). However, as a student, I came to love rowing, as it was a team sport that didn't involve a ball. If you have a Rowing club with a juniors section near you, it might be worth your DD trying it out.

MermaidMartian · 15/09/2025 12:43

I'm dyspraxic, and I hated anything where anyone would judge me, fear of failure was huge. Dyspraxia affected my emotions so much. Please don't assume her to be lazy when there might be so much going on in her little head. If I were you I'd just keep trying different things until something feels right for her, horse riding was great for my posture. I ended up being an almost decent ballroom dancer.

WhenIAmKing · 15/09/2025 12:49

I’m dyspraxic, so know that sensory issues often go alongside the coordination problems.

For me I actively hate getting sweaty, being red in the face, being out of breath. Absolutely hate it. Nothing will induce me to do any kind of activity that involves those things. It is baffling to me that anybody would choose to!

But I do lots of Pilates, swimming, and walking, and actually my health is good. I’m starting to do weight training now as it’s so good for women my age. Recently had a health scare and underwent lots of checks and there were no issues with my cardiovascular health.

I just wonder whether your daughter also hates those things? If so try channeling her towards gentler exercises.

Carriemac · 15/09/2025 13:52

My DD is dyspraxic she’s 26 and keeps fit by walking to work and doing Pilates and swimming . Hated team sports . She’s got an oxbridge degree and is a trainee solicitor and loves lying around reading and is quite dreamy . She’s vey happy , a normal weight and v successful so enjoy your child’s differences and celebrate her successes .

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