Struggling

[spm20]

I’m finding motherhood really hard at the moment and feel so guilty for saying that. I have a 2-year-old and I’m pregnant with my second while also working full-time. Some days I dread the thought of long evenings or whole days alone with my toddler, and I catch myself thinking, “I just need to get through the next few years until things feel easier.”

This pregnancy wasn’t planned, and even though I always thought I wanted two children, I’ve been struggling to enjoy it and I’m just so tired all the time.

I suppose I just wanted to share honestly and hear from others who might have felt this way too. If you’ve come out the other side and found things do get easier, I’d really love to hear your stories.

Hi OP,

Gosh being pregnant with a 2yo AND working full time sounds exhausting!
Do you have a partner or other family to help out?

The age gap between my children is 4.5 years and I worked part time when I was pregnant with 2nd, alot from home too as it was covid, and that was hard enough!

I think you will have a fair while before things get easier i'm afraid, so adjusting lifestyle to try and help things feel easier however you can now might be the best solution.

@Anon501178 thanks so much for responding.
I do plan to go part-time when I return to work after the second baby, but for now I’m just trying to get through these next few months so I can receive full-time maternity pay.

My husband works full-time too and is the higher earner. We’ve recently bought a house that needs a full refurbishment and extension, so for now we’re living in my parents annex. He’s working extra this weekend, and I think that’s what has set me, knowing I’ll be on my own with our toddler all weekend. At the same time, I know we really need the extra money so we can move into our house sooner.

My parents do help, and I’m so grateful, but I can’t help feeling guilty about asking for their support on the days I’m not working, even though I know I probably shouldn’t.

I also find myself sometimes missing my old life, even though having children is something I always dreamed of. Is this common? I sometimes catch myself daydreaming about when my toddler will be pre-school age, because I’ve seen other children become easier around that time. The hardest part is that my toddler isn’t even particularly difficult, I think it’s more about me and how I’m coping.

Oh gosh a toddler and being pregnant is so hard and exhausting! I have 23 months between mine. Now 1yo and 3yo. Being pregnant with a toddler was way harder than having a newborn and a toddler. On the days you don't get much help don't be afraid to use the TV. I used to put It on after my toddlers nap so I got an extended rest in the afternoon. It's only temporary and won't do any harm.
And honestly, it of course has it's hard moments having two so close together but it's not at bad as I thought it would be.

@Poodleeatingnoodle thank you, reading your post has given me hope. I sometimes feel like other people just cope and I'm not so it helps to know I'm not the only one struggling with pregnancy and a toddler. At the moment Peppa pig is on repeat just to get me through the days.

That's ok....Don't feel guilty about finding things hard and missing having time to yourself.Thats totally natural and sometimes being a mum is wonderful but at times feels like being a servant to Royalty 😅 constant demands, and wanting things done NOW! It's alot, and I think definitely cut yourself some slack and don't beat your self up about feeling abit resentful sometimes x