Too young for clubs and activities?

[El91]

Hi, just looking for some advice on sending kids to clubs and activities etc.
A bit of backstory first, my little girl turned 3 in April, she’s such a confident child, will chat to anyone and makes friends anywhere she goes. I’ve felt so guilty all summer as I haven’t really done much with her, I also have an 15 month old and find it so difficult to take them both places on my own and trying to do things around his nap etc.
I don’t have any friends with kids and there’s no young kids in the family so she doesn’t have much interaction with other kids which I think she craves.
Anyway, I signed her up for a summer scheme this week thinking she would love it but it’s been a disaster. The first couple of days she cried going in but was fine once she got in. But she cried every morning saying she didn’t want to go. Her dad had to drop her off today as I was working and she had a complete meltdown going in. He left her thinking she would settle but they rang me saying she was throwing herself to the ground and hitting them out of frustration, so he had to go back and get her.
Like I said she’s such a confident and outgoing child so I thought she would’ve loved going. I have also signed her up for gymnastics and GB starting in September and now I’m stressing that she won’t go.
I know she is still very young so maybe I should wait another year before sending to her to things?
She starts nursery in September has been excited about it all summer but now she has started to ask if i can stay with her. I’m worried that I’ve traumatised her by sending her to the summer scheme when she didn’t want to go 😭
What she did everyone else send their kids to clubs etc.? Should I maybe hold off on the gymnastics and GB until next year?

Therr are plenty of holiday clubs for 3yo around here as most families have 2 parents working ft. I dropped my 3yo off at a couple of morning-only camps this summer and she was fine (her sister also went although she was mostly in split into a different age group. She has started drop-off swimming lessons (2:1) and is fine without me in the pool, and I've signed her up for drop-off gymnastics and music classes starting in September. Her older sister went to a day nursery and finished quite late so we didn't do many drop-off classes until she was in Reception, but she had no issues doing after school classes every day from the autumn term. It really depends on the individual child but I don't think 3 is too young in itself, but some children may not be ready for it.

It is way too much sending a kid to holiday club at 3, especially if they don’t even attend nursery and there’s no settling process! And definitely don’t start nursery and clubs at the same time! Slow and steady…

Most holiday clubs here take from 4.5 but there are a couple that take from 3 and they have a separate room for the under 5s with early years staff and appropriate ratios and activities. They also ask a lot of questions before they start like what they need help with, what they like to do etc. My kids have gone at age 3 and enjoyed it. One marched in no problem the other one was more shy but they both enjoyed it. They started other activities as toddlers and at age 3-4 some of those involved parents waiting outside/in the viewing area/coffee shop.

Mine (4) has been going to nursery since 10 months, but still struggled with group swimming lessons where I watched about 10m away (she started at 3), but she did quickly settle into them. It might be worth waiting a little bit so your DD doesn't start nursery and clubs in the same month? Might be worth prioritising nursery and seeing how she settles. (I'm sure she'll be fine!)

Gymnastics we started about 3.5/4 and I watch outside and she loves it. Can you try a trial session instead of committing to a whole term?

Otherwise, we've done drop off sessions at a gym crèche for 1-2 hours, which she's fine with. Kids club on holiday (about 3 hours) only worked as she had her baby sister and a friend there. We're trying a drop-off outdoor learning club for 2 days in the Oct half term, but quite a few friends of hers will be going, so fingers crossed!

I think holiday camps are pretty intense, everyone's first day is the same day, there's no settling and everything is go go go. So it's no suprise that some children struggle a lot more especially when young.
I think you (based on what I do) should focus on giving your child good experience of the clubs rather than the whole week.
I started by booking single days (and even joining other sessions of the clubs eg in term time they might have an hour on a Saturday morning you can join). Then the deal is that if my child likes it they can go 2 days next time, if not then that's that.
Then it gives the child more idea of what it's like but without stacking the days on top of each other. More like slow motion settling in period.
Then it makes the child feel more in control, and also you can gradually find what they like, which I think depends as much if not more on the leaders as it does on the activity.
My son is having a great time at a dancing and drama club, even though it's mainly attended by girls, because the leaders are absolutely fantastic and are really on top of inclusion, but he knows he's only there because he tried a day and liked it so went for more days. I also chatted with the leader in advance which can be helpful if you have concerns how your child would get on.
But I think overall treat it as a process not a success/fail thing!

My eldest started ballet at 3yo, which was 30mins where I drop and go. Her friend does gymnastics and it was the same. Both were fine. DD1 is now 4yo and will be starting Rainbows in Jan. But I think holiday club would have been too much even with being in nursery since 10months old. Not sure what GB is but I don't think you need to worry about clubs.

With nursery, presumably you are doing settling sessions? So some half days with you there, then half days on her own and building up to full days? In which case she'll have plenty of time to get used to the staff and adjust, so very different to just being dropped at holiday club.