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Parenting

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Siblings helping

10 replies

AldiChocolateBar · 21/08/2025 12:16

My oldest child is autistic, she has very challenging behaviour and I struggle with her on my own, taking her out to places is tricky and she often kicks off over the smallest of things, I still want my other children to have a childhood and not be trapped in the house so I preserve, however her challenges have increased since she's got older (everyone told me it would get easier it's 100 times harder 😩) my other children have therefore started to help out with her when we are out if she does kick off as I'm finding it to hard on my own now. She's getting bigger, stronger and faster, I have my own health issues so can't always chase her or catch up with her she's got faster than me now so my other children will run after her and get her if she does kick off till I can catch up with her. Someone told me this is wrong and they shouldn't be doing this? But I'm not sure what the alternative is? Never take her out or be trapped at home? It's the 6 weeks holidays and I'm trying to do things with my children and do days out.

OP posts:
dogsarethebestalways · 21/08/2025 12:23

What is it they are expected to do to help? Siblings do support each other and help each other, but there are limits to that.

Sirzy · 21/08/2025 12:24

How old are they all?

Snorlaxo · 21/08/2025 12:25

How much do you rely on the other children? How many other children and what are their ages?
On a typical day how often do they have to chase their sibling? Do they have to do other “caring” stuff?

It’s a difficult balance to strike. Siblings of children with SN are often forgotten and it sounds like you are doing your best but it’s difficult to strike a balance 💐

I think that you’re the best person to judge whether the children still have a good day out and unless the person knows the reality of what your days out are like, they should be more realistic about the balance that you’re trying to maintain.

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AldiChocolateBar · 21/08/2025 12:25

I don't expect anything but for example if she runs off they will run after her and get her and stop her until I can catch up

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 21/08/2025 12:31

How many times would she run away on a day out?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 21/08/2025 12:35

How old are they all? Does she hurt them?

AldiChocolateBar · 21/08/2025 12:37

No she does not hurt them. They are 14, 13 and 11. Usually only once as if she starts behaving that way we cut the day short and go straight home.

OP posts:
TheignT · 21/08/2025 12:41

Sounds reasonable to me. I would imagine seeing her being hit by a bus would traumatise them much more.

Snorlaxo · 21/08/2025 12:43

It sounds reasonable then.

Snorlaxo · 21/08/2025 13:03

Whoever the judgy someone is, try to remember to filter the info that they have on your life

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