Sleeping arrangements: 4yo

[HundredPercentUnsure]

Kind of a WIBU and a WWYD situation I suppose. Also looking for creative solutions.

TLDR: bunk beds or not for children who want to share a bedroom even though they have a room each already?

We have a 3 bed terrace house, one bedroom is in the loft conversion.

One child is up there, while our bedroom and other child bedroom is on the floor below.

It gets mega hot up there so earlier this year, I temporarily moved the upstairs child into the downstairs child bedroom with mattress on the floor as their room was cooler. Now, they are very happy room sharing and the upstairs child doesn't want to go back upstairs, gets very upset at the thought. Says they don't like sleeping by themselves.

Now I'm all good with them sharing, they are young (4 and 3) and the best of friends (currently), nowt wrong with it. I'm aware this can all change. They sleep downstairs and play upstairs. Fine with me they are happy and they sleep, and it makes bedtimes easier most of which I do by myself as DH is away often. I suggested to DH getting bunk beds so the mattress is off the floor and they have a bit more space, and would also be good for sleepovers later on once upstairs child is more comfortable to go back upstairs or wants a room to themselves again.

DH says no and wants to force the upstairs child because "child is gonna have to do things in life child doesn't want to and child needs to learn that"

I have said child is 4 and they have their whole life to learn this lesson and also that child does learn this lesson in age appropriate ways.

We are at a stalemate.

WWYD?

Your DH is being ridiculous.

Buy bunkbeds anyway lol or a small cheap single if it can fit. Or what about a trundle/floor bed frame? Can easily be stored away and provides support.
DH is being dumb and the kids want to share. If they go to bed nicely then why not
Can use the upstairs as a spare bedroom/playroom

I can't imagine sticking a 4yo alone upstairs on another floor! I'm not surprised they prefer sharing.
Bunk beds all the way.
If your DH rarely does bedtime, I don't think it's his decision to make.

There’s no way I’d have put a four year old on the floor above by themself in the first place.

Definitley keep them together you get the vote as you do bedtimes, you could even get a lodger into the upstairs room if you want some cash or have a nice spare room or play room. I think under 6s aren’t safe in bunks though

Dh is ridiculous,

my two shared through choice until age 9.

Tbh I'd just leave current set up as kids are happy with it. No need to spend, and like you said they could change their minds anytime soon.

Agree with everyone else, they stay sharing for now – also not surprised the four year old doesn't want to be all by themselves on another floor! I'm sure the four year old is getting plenty of practice at 'doing things because they need to be done' when you insist they clean their teeth/tidy their toys/etc. when they don't want to.

If you can fit a trundle under the current single bed, I think I'd go for that – they're a bit young for proper bunks, but the trundle would still be useful for guests, sleepovers, bunking in with them if they're ill, etc.

Wow is you partner always so inflexible and controlling? Get him to sleep up there on a hot night and see how he gets on - it will also be freezing in the winter.

Get some bunkbeds off facebook marketplace - you can reuse your own mattresses. Get the attic insulated (see if your eligible for a grant) and turn it into a playroom/den - when they are older and want their own spaces it can become a bedroom again (if it’s been insulated). A few years ago when I was pregnant with my almost 4 year old I remember reading about a house fire where a fire started on the floor a small child was sleeping alone, the child died of smoke inhalation before the parents woke up, really scary stuff!

Thank you all for reassuring that what I'm suggesting, them continuing to share for now, isn't absurd.

I think DH is frustrated because we spent money on decorating and furnishing the bedroom that now isn't being used to that extent, and he is reluctant to spend more on bunk beds or a trundle bed (even second hand) when we have 2 perfectly adequate single beds already, albeit in different rooms.

I understand his frustration at spending money on something you thought would be nice and work for your children, only to find it doesn't – but it's not fair to make a four year old pay for that.

Is it possible to put the two single beds in the one room? They don't need much floor space in the shared bedroom if they've got the other room for playing.

Can both single beds still be used in the one bedroom and then the loft room be used as a play area . Therefore your DH doesn’t feel like wasted money and then both kids together and it sets the idea that bedrooms are for sleep not play.

I agree with you. Kids should share, top room can be a playroom.

Not the point of the thread, but your DH sounds really mean!

Your DH is a bully not a parent. Maybe he should sleep alone and you should throw him out.
Anyway, my boys are the same. Have a room each but they often want to share. They're 5 & 3. Im a single parent so actually one room is often easier for bedtime. We have a bed with a trundle bed underneath that pulls out so they both have a proper bed. It will be handy for sleep overs if the novelty of room sharing ends.

That's kind of what we are doing but only the second mattress fits, not the bedframe unfortunately.

That's what I keep pointing out about future sleepovers!