My ex has blocked me and the middle man isn't responding

[PinkBear35]

I moved out of my exa home 1 year ago with our 2 children. Me and the ex were able to communicate and reschedule our weekends if needed (it easy agreed that he has the children every other weekend) after 2 months of us moving out he has blocked my number and does not allow the children to talk to me when he is with them (its only 4 days a month so thats ok) his mum was our middle person, our go between but now shes not responding to me. He got himself a solicitor, I have been in contact with the solicitor previously but now they've stopped responding as well. He messaged me the beginning of the year dictating when he was having the children in the holidays and recently took them 'on holiday abroad' so I was told, I signed for them to go. I was only allowed to communicate woth the children 2 days a week, 10 minutes max at the time. U then found out that apparently they didn't go abroad so I dont know where my children went.
I know i need to get a solicitor and a court order in place but I can't afford one.
He has denied mediation, he will not entertain emails, notes or the parenting apps on any way!
Do I still let my children visit their dad when there's absolutely no communication or middle person?

That sounds like you’ve been having a really tough time of it. No advice, but hopefully a helpful bump x

@swingingbytheseat thank you. It has been really tough and I really dont want to stop the children from seeing their dad, but he's making it difficult

Wow how difficult. Also dont have any advice,id maybe ask chat gpt where to go from here - also responding to bump

Do not ask chatgpt for advice on something like this! It churns out all sorts of nonsense that's not based in UK law. You have to be really careful for a situation like this! I don't know what the OP should do as I'm not an expert or lawyer, but definitely don't rely on Chatgpt.

So do you have set times that he has them? Is he sticking to them?

@londongirl12 he has them every other weekend from Friday at 5pm to Sunday 5pm and thats working well, but for instance a few.months back i was potty training my son and I got him into pants, i told the solicitor, the middle man and always text my ex, my son came home in baby nappies, not even pull ups so I find stuff like that had.
And he will unblock me, and message me dictating when he has the children over the holidays

@Imonmyway Thank you. Iv been told that I need a solicitor and a court agreement for a yearly plan with the children instead of him dictating but I can't afford one 🤦‍♀️

I just dont know if i should send them back to their dads atm when the middle man isn't responding. If there was an accident/incident i don't know of i would be informed and I have no way of updating their dad any information about the children

Post in legal matters - hopefully a family solicitor will see it.

Might also be worth checking out Wikivorce.

@Enrichetta brilliant thank you

I'm trying to help but a bit confused with this one. You imply that there is no court order so the child arrangements are between yourselves which can be a good thing. Without a court order neither of you are in a position to dictate what arrangements will be made.
Him appointing a solicitor is totally irrelevant, they may contact you but that would be unprofessional and a waste of money for him without a court order being in place.
Are you married? Was the house jointly owned? Did you pay into the household or didn't work due to raising a family? If so, or even if not, given certain situations a solicitor would take your case with fees being paid after the distribution of assets.
If he won't talk you need a free consultation which any decent solicitor will offer, good luck but the best option for both of you and the children is a sensible outcome between you both.

@Elferbowton It's a hard one because the children live with me and see him every other weekend. I received an email from his solicitor stating 'my client Mr will be having the children on (set date to and from) and will be taking them abroad to Italy. I didnt want my children to miss out so I let them go.
No we was never married, and the house was rented by both of us but I chose to move out with the children. I paid into the household.
I spoke to a solicitor and they stated that I need a court order but I can't afford it

A court order costs £263 and financial help is available if you're on a low income, there is also a final consent order of £53 which should be shared between the both of you.
Obviously solicitors/barristers can pump this amount up to astronomical levels ( I've been there myself) but in your case I don't believe that either of you would be sensible to go down that route. Talk to each other if you can, in time it will be best for both of you and the children in the long run.
As an aside I wouldn't recommend signing anything again without a court order but that's up to you, all the best.

Have a look here - it’s aimed at married people divorcing, but some of the information will be relevant for unmarried parents as well:

https://divorce.wikivorce.com/advice/children

@Elferbowton iv asked for financial help and they told me that as there was no domestic violence I can't get help towards the cost.
I would rather not go down that route but there is absolutely zero way of talking to him, he will avoid at all costs. Absolutely non at all

@Enrichetta Brilliant thank you i have a look