18 yr old failed A-level, looks like he’s going to coast for another year

[Prudence1]

My son failed an A-level which he needed for uni, and his conditional offers were withdrawn. He has taken it badly. Whilst sad for him, I suspected he was going to do poorly as he didn’t work hard enough. (I didn’t tell him that.)
He’s insisting on repeating, and I’m willing to support his decision but I think he needs to make some changes so we’re not back here again next year. He has a part time job - 3 shifts a week which he might be able to increase - but he’s going to have a lot of spare time. If I let him he’ll spend it sleeping. I’ve suggested taking up a new hobby, volunteering, learning a new skill so that he feels he’s making something of this coming year, and not just repeating. But he thinks I’m being daft. Any suggestions for extra curriculars? Or new house rules? I can already sense the resentment building because he has been “on holiday”
since June and I’m worried he thinks this is the easy route for another year.
btw there’s just the 2 of us. He’s a lovely young man but a bit of a sloth.

Get his drivers liscence - if he’s working he can use some of that towards lessons.

Why go back and do just one A level, I did a language GCSE in a year alongside my 4 a levels. Can't he do two A levels, a language, maybe a volunteering/mentoring type role , work, plus does he have any sports/hobbies. I agree it's a good time to learn to drive too. He needs to round out his application.

Can he repeat one A Level and get into the course he wants?
Is he going to be able to motivate himself to get the grade he needs or might he need tutoring, etc?

Lifeguard training course? It's only a week but then he could get lifeguard work.

I think you need to work out the minimum number of hours activity per week you are happy with, and the together come up with a plan to reach that.
I feel your pain, I have a DS who would choose sleep over most other activities.

Most students who resit their a levels don’t actually get a better grade.

So he needs a plan to improve- will he get an online 121 tutor? Do a full year of that a level at online high school?

He could also pick up some extra shifts or get another job with more hours, learn to drive, volunteer, travel or work overseas (eg camp America).

Basically he needs a plan so he’s not sloth- ing around all year and is earning some money.

What does he want to do at uni. Are there any apprenticeships about that could lead into the degree

Are there any universities offering his chosen course but with a foundation year? Those have lower requirements and it gets him started in a more purposeful way than resitting.

Well, I think that the first thing to do is to book an "appointment" with him to discuss the coming academic year. Set a day and time with him. Say that you realise he is an adult now but you are still supporting him/ giving him a roof over his head and you need to discuss with him his aims and targets for the year ahead. By booking in advance it gives him time to reflect without the immediate teen defensiveness etc.

Then before the meeting, think about your "hard boundaries". So those might be a fair share of household chores, a financial contribution to the household, a minimum of 30 hours constructive work a week ( this could include a mix of repeat A level classes, his job, any volunteer work, driving lessons - whatever seems appropriate). Explain this is for his benefit to get him back on track.

Ask him what he thinks about his A level. Does he think he worked to his best advantage.

Askim to show a plan for how he is going to get better success in the A level ( did he actually fail it, or get a U grade in which case he was either spectacularly messing about or the subject isn't for him - or did he get a pass grade but not high enough for university). He will probably complain and say he isn't a child etc etc and why does he need to tell you his plan. Your answer, the plan he followed last year didn't work, if he was in a job he would have to show relevant work plans to his boss , you can't allow another year to go by where you are funding him and he messes up by not applying himself. Emphasise that if you do what you've always done, you get what you've always got and that you don't want that for him and you don't think he wants that either.

Ultimately, you can only hold boundaries that you are in control of so think about what that would be. (Withdraw WiFi, only offer basic food, start charging more in rent, stop funding hobby etc).

Hopefully he will respond to the positive encouragement but you have to decide for yourself what line you will take if he doesn't, then hold to it.

Thank you for the responses you’ve been very helpful. I will schedule a meeting with him to discuss plans.
He drives, has his own car, hobbies etc. He only needs to resit one to get into the course he wants, he got good grades in the other 2. He isn’t interested in other clearing options or apprenticeships. There are no foundation courses in the location he wants to study. He has agreed to a tutor and is meeting with a college tomorrow to discuss enrolling on their A-level fast track course. There may be different grading systems in different areas but where we are, a fail is a U. Thank you 🙏

Does he definitely want to go to Uni? Do you think he will pass the subject of he puts in a little effort? Does he enjoy this subject?

He could easily study something else alongside that one A level. Or rethink his ideas and try a different route like more technical education?

Encourage him to take on more shifts at work. If he likes the job could it lead to a career?

He's feeling dejected now which is understandable. So don't badger him too much about starting lots of new hobbies etc as hell need to be feeling in the mood for it.

I hope he cook meals, buys own food, does own laundry and cleaning and helps out in other ways around the house when asked. If you are giving him pocket money still you can make that dependent on him pulling his weight and working a certain number of days etc.

Ok, so if he got a U, does he know why? Ask him what he feels the issues are/were. Does he find the subject impossibly hard? If so it may be worth him taking a different subject fast tracked over one year.
If this isn't the case, then what on earth was he doing through the last 2 years? I think it is quite hard to get a U in a subject you have some aptitude for and have put some work into!
Was he predicted higher grades, was he over confident, was he burying his head in the sand and just not doing anything towards it but not facing the issue either?

How does it compare with what the school/college were predicting?

It is important that he considers the above issues - otherwise he is likely to have a repeat of last year.

I used to work at a university. On a certain degree course, there were 30 credits of lab work in the first year. If a student failed more than 20 credits in total they were not allowed to progress to the second year. It doesn't take a maths genius to work out that if you failed to attend and complete all the lab modules you were going to fail the year and that if you did, you'd have to repeat the year to actually do all the lab work, you couldn't pass by sitting a resit exam.

Every single year there was at least one and sometimes two or three male ( they were always male) students who failed to attend all the labs and then were shocked and surprised that they were being asked to repeat the year. I think it was usually just some kind of immaturity whereby they put their head in the sand and seemed to be able to kid themselves that the rules didn't apply to them and that somehow things would be ok.

Then they seemed to sort themselves out into two groups. One group realised what was what through having to work all year at something like stacking shelves in a supermarket whilst attending part time to do the labs. They usually went on to get their degree.

The second group never really attended the repeat labs and faded out and ended up leaving the university.

If your son is like the students in the first group, this year could be of great value to him as he realises the effort he needs to put in and may set himself up to achieve to a higher standard when he does go to university.

Not wanting to kick him when he is down but to achieve a U after two years of study suggests he has limited grasp of the subject and/or misunderstood the requirements of the papers. What subject was it? Frankly I would question whether resitting is worthwhile or just a stalling tactic as he can’t or won’t move forwards. Could he consider applying for a Foundation course with his current grades for example or reconsider whether uni is the best path

Have the University said they will accept him onto the course with the resit? It is often not a given

Sounds like a waste of a year, better to try and get on a similar course elsewhere through clearing. Some also allow you to do a HND in year 1 then if you get a high enough pass mark after your first year you can go onto the degree, hard to advise without knowing the course.

I don’t see how resisting and working 3 shifts a week at 17 is a bad thing or a waste of a year. He’s got the rest of his life to work, let him rest if he needs it, as long as he study’s, works, helps in the house and is respectful I’d be happy. Also it’s ok to tell him that you don’t think he put enough work in last year and he will need to step it up this year to get a good pass.

Are you sure his college will let him study one A level and re-sit? That's quite unusual.

You need to be honest with your son and tell him the reason he failed.

This gentle parenting - softening the blow etc might be ideal when they are younger. However, this is an adult now and the real world isn’t going to coddle him and you should stop doing it too.

Unfortunately if he got a U he is very unlikely to pass a resit. I would be encouraging him to look at other options.

Why on earth did you let him work 3 shifts a week when you knew he was struggling with this A level? When my child was struggling with A level Physics, I got them a tutor and made them quit their job.

They got into their first choice Uni.

For future- he should quit his job. He should cut back on non educational activities.

He does need to assess if he should repeat the same A level or if he would rather do a different one. If he is no good at the subject then maybe he should play to his strengths and pivot towards a different subject and potentially different degree course.

Generally speaking a young person who passes 2 A levels and fails the 3rd is neither lazy nor not working hard enough, it is most often either

• they’re too busy to do all 3 at once so 1 fell off their plate because of extracurricular (sports, music) or a job.
• they’re really not that interested in the 3rd a level and only chose it on advice and would do much better with a different 3rd a level.

The fact he has taken it hard and that he works 3 shifts a week- madness! A levels the time not spent in face to face class is meant to be spent doing independent study and revision. Not working a job.

I’d be really concerned his uni choice won’t let him in even if he passes the one he failed this year.

I strongly disagree that he should be (or should have been) encouraged to drop his job in order to get his A Level grades. He needs to study really hard AND work a decent number of hours a week to support himself. If it’s 3 shifts of 8 hours, that’s probably ok. 3 short shifts abd only one a level to retake - no chance! Like you say, he will be slobbing round sleeping until midday 😂

He has agreed to a tutor and is meeting with a college tomorrow to discuss enrolling on their A-level fast track course.

He will be living a breathing this A level for next few months,
Do NOT pile on yet more stress.
Reduce his stress by telling him to quit his job.
He can still do “adulting” by helping out with house chores.
His full time job is to be a student rn. A levels are a stepping stone.
Keep a bit of hobby for stress reduction on the weekends.

A fast track a level resit is not for a full year. The ones I am familiar with you resit in 3 months.

He needs to quit his pocket money job. He won’t have time to drive about or do hobbies. He needs to focus on resitting the a level as soon as possible

Why should he ‘support himself’ when his parents are there to support him and demanding that is only going to increase the chance he fails the resit? He doesn’t “need” to work a job AND study, he needs the a level more than he needs money to drive around and buy beer with his friends,

Is your son planning on a specific role or career path? As an experienced FE specialist, resits don’t work on their own. He needs a specific goal. Does his provider have a careers service? They need contacting for support.

A "U" means he conclusively failed, he would have got an "N" if his result fell just short of the pass line at "E". This to me says he either doesn't have any grasp of the subject or made some huge balls up on the paper / coursework.

Without knowing the subject its difficult to know what the likely cause is.

The big questions I would have as a teacher are, does he have a grasp of things / is this just a bad fluke situation?, How relevant is this subject in the onward qualification? (ie: if he's not up to an A level will he sink without trace at uni through lack of basic ability.

The risk is he could re-sit, scrape through and still flunk out of uni at the end of the first year. This would be a massive waste of his time and alternative potential and very disheartening.

Its not always a sign of disaster though, I got an N in electronics first go, E second go and emerged 3 years later with a first in Electrical Engineering! so it can all fall into place.

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice ok this sounds like a private crammer college type resit. These are not the norm, most young people from regular families aren’t put in crammer colleges for November resits with intensive tuition. Maybe the OP is considering this in which case of course he should give it his all, but I see no indication of that? Likely this is just a regular less advantaged kid who needs to re do a whole year somewhere??

In which case, one A level takes around 6 hours per week plus maybe 6 hours’ independent study. leaves at least 20 hours a week for paid work and ample time for socialising in the absence of family responsibilities or having to run a household.

Could be the making of him, OP. If he realises it’s either knuckle down to study or get a job and pay full bed and board… he may well decide to knuckle down to study hard.

This is not true. The average result for resits is 1.7 grades higher, so most students go up by one or two grades when they resit.