Will this be ok: kids staying with relatives for the weekend

[ChersHandbag]

Hello,
I am a lone mum and my kids often have ‘sleepovers’ which are essentially friends helping me out when I need to travel for work. I have no family support except for a nice cousin who lives in another city with her family— nice partner and one daughter (mine are girls too). My cousin has offered to have mine for the weekend to give me a break in the relentless summer holiday, but now I’m anxious the little one won’t cope, for some reason. My kids are 10 and 12 and will go Fri-Sun.
I think I feel so guilty because for once it’s not ‘essential’ but rather for my own self care. I’m wracked with worry about especially the little one (which is silly really as she’s going on a week’s residential with school soon). Does anyone have any wise words?

Does she like spending time with them and why so you think she won’t cope?

I hesitate to say there is nothing to worry about, but...

This is all fine. She's already taking the first steps with sleepovers and the school trip. Her big sister will be there to support her. She's there with lovely adults. This is is a perfect way to gently introduce her to time away from you.

If they like this relative, have stayed there before or spent time, and get on well with them, and you trust them, then it should be fine.
10 and 12 isn’t that that young. Do they have the means to contact you? I hope it goes well and you enjoy the self care time

She’s pretty good at sleepovers but also a sensitive child who will say she missed me a bit when I collect her. If I think about it I don’t even feel that worried about the emotional stuff, more ‘who will tell her not to walk too close to the kerb? Who will remind her to mind the gap on the tube?’ etc…. you can see why I need a break perhaps.

Yes, they both have a little brick phone.

They will be fine. This is how children learn. How else will they get the opportunity to spend time with family? Use your support network, doesn't have to be for an essential reason. Your cousin is an adult, you have to let her take care, without guilt or being over protective.

10 and 12? They will be fine. Mine did this from a much younger age. It’s good for them and you.

I have a sensitive 9yo and a 6yo. 9yo has only ever done 1 night away, but has now said she would be happy to do 2 nights with relatives. She will do 3 nights with school next year.

Don't feel guilty! They are old enough to look after themselves a fair bit and your cousin knows how to look after children. Hopefully they will have a blast. If they miss you a bit, that's ok, you will miss them too, but the break will refresh you and mean you look forward to spending time with them when they get back.

I am much more safety conscious when looking after someone else's child. And it's fine, healthy even for a child to miss you after being away.

It sounds like they've done various sleepovers before with different people. I think you know they'll be fine and you're feeling a bit of guilt for wanting time to yourself. But that's vital, totally vital for a happy balanced mum to be able tob continue being the best mum for your children.

They will be fine and love it and you will relax! Big it up get new pyjamas or just a pack of sweet and make it fun and a a present for cousins and auntie (sorry she is your cousin) if you can afford it. Let them call her “auntie” and the kids can be her “cousins”

My cousins loved 300 miles away and I saw them once a year and I loved it so much. Face time once a day in the morning - maybe evening to . I Suggest them don’t have their own phones.

As for watching the kerb etc of course they will look after them! It human nature. Accidents do happen, especially if they heard having fun and playing so just relax let them grow some family roots and relax into what can be a really great time of growth for you all.

Thank you so much for these comments. I think I really needed ‘permission’ if that makes any sense. I don’t even have any elderly parents to tut me so feel untethered from advice sometimes. It’s a lot of responsibility.

I think it will do you all good. If they say they miss you then you don’t need to feel guilty. You’ll have missed them but still had a nice time.