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1 year old prefers his dad

1 reply

newmum9808 · 17/08/2025 20:12

My LB is 1 and for the past couple of months has been showing a massive preference towards his dad. I went back to work FT when he was 10 months old, but struggled with this so compressed my hours to have an extra day with him. We both have equal time with him and have always worked collaboratively with his routine (taking it in turns for who does bedtime, baths, feeding etc). When I was on MAT leave, he would always come to me for comfort and it wasn’t massively noticeable, but now it seems like he doesn’t want me for anything. He will bypass me if I’m in the room with him and my partner and go straight to my partner, he laughs more at him even if he’s not doing anything, but if I do the same thing, I will be lucky to get a smile and even if he falls and hurts himself, he will kick and scream if I try and comfort him and will just want to go to his dad. He will also prefer to cuddle with his dad and will fall asleep on him, but doesn’t ever want to fall asleep on me.

I struggled with PPD/PPA when my son was born but felt like our bond improved when I was on mat leave, but now I’m back at work, I feel like he doesn’t care if I’m there or not. It’s really hard to not take it personally and I feel like it’s something I’m doing to make him feel this way. Has anyone ever been through this and what did you do about it? TIA

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PinkPanda99 · 17/08/2025 22:35

My oldest son went through a big Daddy phase, and I felt exactly the same way. It was tough. But in time things changed/started balancing out and even favouring me again. He’s now 9 and we have a lovely bond. I have 3 children now and all of them have gone through phases where they have favoured one or the other of us at times, but it does pass. DH now has the opposite issue where DD is in a big Mummy phase. You’re not doing anything wrong, and I know it’s not easy but try not to take it personally, it will pass.

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