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Original poster

Why do parents seem more overwhelmed / anxious / struggling with parenting these days?

153 replies

Gagamama2 · 17/08/2025 13:16

Looking for help really as I feel so overwhelmed by life as a parent and from speaking to other mums about it they then open up and say they feel the same. I know quite a few people on anti depressants because of the stress of general everyday life - no big traumatic event or anything you can really pin down as being the cause of it.

Have parents always felt like this? Did the previous generations hide it better or has something changed to make it harder these days?

particularly interested in hearing from grandparents who can compare their parenting years with how their children are bringing up their kids today.

I’m doing my absolute best to cope, am a (I think) strong and intelligent person who isn’t using anxiety as a pass for benefits or help with anything. It is a genuine situation for me that I want to get to the bottom of and try to solve as it’s ruining the best years of bringing up my kids.

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Lighttodark · 03/09/2025 04:54

PPs have covered the main reasons. We also have to accept that the external pressure is self inflicted through our own engagement in social media. If we didn’t watch others doing it perfectly, we wouldn’t set the bar so high, compare etc. However many of the key contributors are outside of our control eg lack of community, cost of living.

MrsSunshine2b · 03/09/2025 10:59

DrCoconut · 17/08/2025 15:56

This is why I love my DS being an explorer (scouts). They are given an area with oversight rather than constant close supervision on camp and can do their own thing as long as it's legal, within acceptable risk limits and not causing nuisance to others. They set up the tents, cook their own meals (quickly work out that washing up is going to have to be done if you want to eat again so sort it), go for walks, play games etc. They do badges and bigger cross group camps too but the chill out weekends are just about taking time away from school, exams, pressure etc and relaxing. It's a really nice small group and other than the odd squabble which is probably unavoidable they all get on and plan things together. A bit like the old days playing out I guess. They seem like more "traditional" kids of their age without all the anxiety and highly strungness that some others have (though I will add the obvious disclaimer that I don't know everything about them). I think being allowed to go off and spend time away with their mates just being is really good for them. I guess some people would argue that it's either not productive - no qualification or Oxford application worthy status, or not safe - hot things, sharp things, germs etc and not allow it but that level of expectation and hypervigilance is what creates unreasonable levels of anxiety (disclaimer 2 I know some parents and kids have very good reasons for being anxious and I do not include those here).

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My stepdaughter was massively overscheduled (I'm talking 2 or even 3 clubs every single night of the week, plus 3 hrs Stagecoach on Saturday and often a 3pm class on Sunday in something or other, and she was always a 12 hrs sleep a night sort of kid and went to a school with an intense homework policy, so she had no downtime at all.) When she dropped Irish Dancing (3-4hrs a week) I suggested Brownies, but her Mum said there was "no skill" being learned at Brownies so it was pointless.

2 years later, DH pushed for her to go to Guides and it's been SO good for her development, her independence and her confidence. Way more beneficial than all the dancing, coding, and a million other classes I don't even remember now.

Naanspiration · 03/09/2025 11:50

Needmorelego · 17/08/2025 13:19

Because so many people no longer live in tight-knit communities and/or near their families.
They are literally trying to raise children on their own.

Valid point.

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